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[MammaG]

Hi all, wasnt sure if I should update or write a new post. I had a terrific scare the other night after taking estrogel and Utrogestan. Panic so bad I was rocking. I was literally terrified.My fear level was off the chart.Had to call my daughter at 2 am to come over as I had 5 yr old Grandchild and didnt know how much worse I was going to get.  I have never ever made a call like that in all if her adult life As I am on holiday from work weve all been together since. Not being alone I calmed down a lot. I didnt take the Utrogestan again just to be safe. I took the estrogen a day later.

Tonight I was ok. I think I have a chest infection and was exhausted. Have had to clean the house and prepare for guests so did more than I should. Still at 12am was ok. I feel as though I am about to habe a period .Put the estrogen on, went to bed at 2 ( slept during the day some) Lay down and bang, white knuckle ride as bad as the last one the other day. I only took the estrogen as I was scared a sudden drop may also badly affect me.I lay there curled in a ball. Nothing eased it at all. Totally dibilitating panic.

I had to get up, eat, drink tea, anything to try to take the edge off. I was trembling, literally shaking. Its 04.20 now and I am still shaking. Luckily my daughter is here and got up (as she heard me up) to talk me down. She was so sweet explaining its chemical and saying dont associate it with anything going on as it will pass. It did pass the other day but not completely.

I feel trapped and alone now on the HRT as my medical care is sketchy. My GP retired and the surgery are under soo much pressure without him plus I trusted him and felt secure.He always seemed happy to accomodate me even when I was a pain in the a** , insisting on bio-identicals etc.

I think just coming off of 3 weeks of pred ( which is a hormone) for Lupus and it not really working, chest infection, allergies and exhaustion on top of HRT has created the perfect storm for this to happen.

I know I cant go on like this. It was like being stuck with an adrenalyn needle lying in the bed where I should feel safe surrounded by my family. Instead I am so tense I have literally hurt my muscles in my legs by unintentionally tensing up. My daughter  asked me why I was vent over. I realised I was literally bent over sitting up clutching a pillow.

Would very much appreciate some advice, thanks for reading

[jorainbow]

Hi there. I can't give any advice 're the hrt but I can empathise with the panic. It's awful. I'm due to travel to Wales today and I'm an absolute mess. My whole body is aching and tingling and yes I know it's anxiety but it doesn't help. It does feel like I'm on an adrenaline drip too. I habe fome diazepam and I'm taking one and I have a med phobia. Anything to stop this. I hope someone comes along to give you more HRT specific advice but in the meantime have a huge hug xxx

[Butterfly22]

Hi
You do sound just like me, I really hope things settle but always here if you need a chat.
Sending hugs xxx

[Peacegirl]

Hi all, wasnt sure if I should update or write a new post. I had a terrific scare the other night after taking estrogel and Utrogestan. Panic so bad I was rocking. I was literally terrified.My fear level was off the chart.Had to call my daughter at 2 am to come over as I had 5 yr old Grandchild and didnt know how much worse I was going to get.  I have never ever made a call like that in all if her adult life As I am on holiday from work weve all been together since. Not being alone I calmed down a lot. I didnt take the Utrogestan again just to be safe. I took the estrogen a day later.

Tonight I was ok. I think I have a chest infection and was exhausted. Have had to clean the house and prepare for guests so did more than I should. Still at 12am was ok. I feel as though I am about to habe a period .Put the estrogen on, went to bed at 2 ( slept during the day some) Lay down and bang, white knuckle ride as bad as the last one the other day. I only took the estrogen as I was scared a sudden drop may also badly affect me.I lay there curled in a ball. Nothing eased it at all. Totally dibilitating panic.

I had to get up, eat, drink tea, anything to try to take the edge off. I was trembling, literally shaking. Its 04.20 now and I am still shaking. Luckily my daughter is here and got up (as she heard me up) to talk me down. She was so sweet explaining its chemical and saying dont associate it with anything going on as it will pass. It did pass the other day but not completely.

I feel trapped and alone now on the HRT as my medical care is sketchy. My GP retired and the surgery are under soo much pressure without him plus I trusted him and felt secure.He always seemed happy to accomodate me even when I was a pain in the a** , insisting on bio-identicals etc.

I think just coming off of 3 weeks of pred ( which is a hormone) for Lupus and it not really working, chest infection, allergies and exhaustion on top of HRT has created the perfect storm for this to happen.

I know I cant go on like this. It was like being stuck with an adrenalyn needle lying in the bed where I should feel safe surrounded by my family. Instead I am so tense I have literally hurt my muscles in my legs by unintentionally tensing up. My daughter  asked me why I was vent over. I realised I was literally bent over sitting up clutching a pillow.

Would very much appreciate some advice, thanks for reading

Hi all, wasnt sure if I should update or write a new post. I had a terrific scare the other night after taking estrogel and Utrogestan. Panic so bad I was rocking. I was literally terrified.My fear level was off the chart.Had to call my daughter at 2 am to come over as I had 5 yr old Grandchild and didnt know how much worse I was going to get.  I have never ever made a call like that in all if her adult life As I am on holiday from work weve all been together since. Not being alone I calmed down a lot. I didnt take the Utrogestan again just to be safe. I took the estrogen a day later.
 Hi mammaG, sorry to hear about your difficult experiences. What doses of estrogel and utrogestan are you on? Ive just moved over to


Tonight I was ok. I think I have a chest infection and was exhausted. Have had to clean the house and prepare for guests so did more than I should. Still at 12am was ok. I feel as though I am about to habe a period .Put the estrogen on, went to bed at 2 ( slept during the day some) Lay down and bang, white knuckle ride as bad as the last one the other day. I only took the estrogen as I was scared a sudden drop may also badly affect me.I lay there curled in a ball. Nothing eased it at all. Totally dibilitating panic.

I had to get up, eat, drink tea, anything to try to take the edge off. I was trembling, literally shaking. Its 04.20 now and I am still shaking. Luckily my daughter is here and got up (as she heard me up) to talk me down. She was so sweet explaining its chemical and saying dont associate it with anything going on as it will pass. It did pass the other day but not completely.

I feel trapped and alone now on the HRT as my medical care is sketchy. My GP retired and the surgery are under soo much pressure without him plus I trusted him and felt secure.He always seemed happy to accomodate me even when I was a pain in the a** , insisting on bio-identicals etc.

I think just coming off of 3 weeks of pred ( which is a hormone) for Lupus and it not really working, chest infection, allergies and exhaustion on top of HRT has created the perfect storm for this to happen.

I know I cant go on like this. It was like being stuck with an adrenalyn needle lying in the bed where I should feel safe surrounded by my family. Instead I am so tense I have literally hurt my muscles in my legs by unintentionally tensing up. My daughter  asked me why I was vent over. I realised I was literally bent over sitting up clutching a pillow.

Would very much appreciate some advice, thanks for reading

Hi, sorry to hear about your very difficult experiences. I have just moved onto estrogel and utrogestan and am struggling though not suffering quite as much as you. I have been feeling like I have flu for 9 out of the 11 days and I wonder if it's the utrogestan. I've read elsewhere to use the gel in the morning and the utrogestan at night and this is helping me with feeling hyper and insomnia. What dose are you on? Sorry I can't give much good advice as I'm in a learning curve myself and struggling intermittently. I do empathise with the need to have a kind gp though and please try not to think of yourself as a 'pain in the arse'. All you want is to feel well enough to live a decent life and do your best. That's not too much for anyone to expect. X  :)ps the estrogel makes me quite hyper, so I'm wondering if your dose is too high?

[MammaG]

Hi ladies thanks so much for the support. I have totally given up on HRT. 2 + years on it and they refused to check my levels. I am stopping cold Turkey. The anxiety is back although I havent had estrogen last night. I feel a bit phobic about the HRT now.

I am soo tired. The anxiety is raging. My daughter invited her friends we met on holiday to stay at my house this weekend. I was told after the fact...what an awkward position I was in. There was no way I could get out of it. I only have 2 bedrooms and there was 7 of us and a dog.They came, allowed the kids to trash my home, consumed everything, left my garden strewn with their bottles and glasses. The kids broke a few things. I even had to ask them to get their children out of the NEW wardrobe as the door was habging off.  My daughter started drinking at lunchtime and drank her own bodyweight. I was left to deal with the easter egg stuff and accomodate her friends this morning as she threw up and went back to bed. I am so fed up. They all just relaxed when they got here, kids running amock with no direction. I had to feed the kids and be the hostess as my daughter just left it all to me. Now they have gone, my home is trashed. My daughter fell alseep when they left and I am left to cope with the child and the dog. Child is in the bed bless her.

My daughter saw me rocking with anxiety. I dont know how she could do this. No one enjoyed the weekend because it was total carnage. They even made us pay for half of the lunch we had today. I was so shocked. In my day we  were taught to help the host clean up and take them out if they put you up, buy you drinks and feed you.
Tomorrow I will be expected to clean around my daughter, cook and take her home as she sits there and I have to work on Tuesday.

Im not sure how much more I can take

[MicheleMaBelle]

Oh Mamma G- I'm so sorry that you are feeling so poorly and your daughter and guests have behaved the way they did.
it's rude, it's inconsiderate and you shouldn't have to put up with it. Can you go out tomorrow and do something YOU want to do? Leave your daughter a note telling her that you expect the place to be cleaned up and that you'll have a chat when you are feeling less angry. Don't get into a confrontation- tell her that you are angry and you will talk about it when you're feeling calmer. She sounds as if she needs a kick up the arse to be honest but maybe you need to ask her why she has behaved in the way she has. It's YOUR house. YOUR rules.

Get a double appointment booked with your GP- take a list of your symptoms and please keep taking the HRT- coming off it so quickly probably won't help. You may find that it's the progesterone causing the issues so maybe you could discuss with your GP taking a shorter course and/ or taking more oestrogen- you haven't probably given it enough time. I've been told 3 months...
You've got a lot on your plate- infection, lupus, hormones, family issues. No wonder you're feeling crap but please go back to your GP , get signed off work if need be and tell your daughter that you need to have a chat. if you don't want to confront her, send her a letter or e mail and first and foremost, put yourself first for a change. Let us know how you get on 

[MammaG]

Thanks Michele, I know I have a problem with my daughter's attitide towards me. I have to do absolutely everything.The friends are her age and have 2 kids. Seems like they all just switched off the munute they landed. I know because I dont drink they left it to me to worry about the kids eating etc but drink wize my daughter was the worst. How can anyone trash someones home and leave. I could have fell off of my chair when they asked for half the bill today. So I said "why dont you deduct the take away money from last night (we paid and they said they would reimburse) from the bill. Daughter said she was embarassed by me saying that. Hmmm....Apparently it was paid back in booze? How does that pay me exactly. I am pretty dissapointed and she knows but I can't say a word.If I do all hell will break loose. If I did go somewhere I would come back to her asleep on the sofa. She wouldnt clean. I will make sure that she helps me put my house back together although she will complain all day about doing it because shes so hungover.

I also realise I had my Grandbaby for 4 nights off the back off a Lupus flare when I cracked I have had no break at all. No wonder I am struggling. I am isolated as I work at home and am always ill and unsupported. My little 5 yr old Grandchild knows better. She always tells me when I say I am busy " I will help Grandma, give me a job". I adore that child. She sees how hard I work and wants to ease my burden. That's real friendship and thats love.

I am pretty sure you are right and its the Utrogestan causing the most issues. I have been on the HRT for 2+ years.

Thanks for being out there and taking the time to respond x

[MicheleMaBelle]

That's what we're here for. Go back to your GP/ meno clinic and look at your Utrogestan. Would you benefit from a short course of ADS?

I feel for you. You really need to sort your daughter out- she doesn't seem to have much respect for you but she knows she can get away with it. Being confrontational is the last thing you need so leave her a note- go out. Doesn't matter where to. Just go out and leave her to it and if nothing is done, get her stuff together and ask her to leave. And not to come back until she shows you some respect. I know it will break your heart but you need to do it otherwise you are giving her permission to treat you like that time and time again. You don't say, but have you got a partner that can support you through this? X

[Butterfly22]

Jesus MammaG
This is not on at all, I'm sorry but I would have flipped on the lot of them. You say you do everything for her, don't want to sound harsh but that's probably why she takes advantage.
She knows your going through a difficult time and to put this on you. I think you need to give her tough love.
As the lady above said do you think AD's may be an option? They definatly help me.
Hope your ok and the house is sorted and cleaned up.
Sending hugs xxx

[MammaG]

I know Lil I am responsible. Daughter is Borderline and incredibly this is better behaviour for her. She doesnt live with me and I have had to throw her out 3 x in the past. It was all about the alcohol for her this weekend and I saw them follow her lead. That was bad enough but the woman who came says she polishes water marks off of her sink after hubby washes up. So why trash my house and leave? She clealy knew better but didnt care.

The reason they were invited here is because daughters house is too dirty for guests * rolls eyes*. Never ever again! They all took advantage because I was unwell. Still one of the benefits of being this way is you tell quickly who your friends are. The only well behaved one was the 5 yr old Grandchild and the dog who is usually a pain.

I have been up with the 5 yr old since 9. Daughter doesnt care to get up with her and feed her. I just tried to rouse her and she was surprised I woke her up. She would stay there all day and get up to lie on the sofa and watch me clean till I dropped. She has very little empathy and I was surprised she got up the other night and tried to support me, not like her.

If I did go out the child would be alone and she would do nothing and I am so exhausted. Lupus still flaring and work tomorrow. I have a feeling they will let me go if I get signed off and I dont get sick pay even if they didnt.

Plan is nag her into helping me get the house in order and that will be an all day battle as she will say she is tired or sick or both. Get her out of my house and try to get through this week at work in 1 piece. I will ask the doc to send me to the meno clinic. I woke up at 3 am with a nightmare about a murder. It was so real I was terrified. Grandbaby sleeps in my bed as well so I had to get up just to be alone while it passed. I was ok though and managed to get to sleep. I imagine that was the sudden drop in estrogen.

I have to say I feel so much better knowing I can come here. I know I have shared a lot non meno stuffand appreciate the support

[MicheleMaBelle]

Hi MamaG- I think you should get away today- take your granddaughter out. A walk? The park?
Leave your daughter in the house. Maybe no note since you're very clearly upset. When you come back, ask her to get her stuff together and leave. You can send her an e mail when you've calmed down but it's important that you keep to the facts and don't get emotional about it.
She may try and use her daughter as a weapon but God forgive her if she does. Your daughter clearly has problems of her own that she needs to sort out but you've done your bit. She needs to take responsibility or she'll just keep doing the same thing, time and time again.

This should be your time, please don't feel that you need to keep going until you collapse.if the housework doesn't get done, it's not the end of the world. If you're not fit to work ( regardless of the potential consequences) , it's not the end of the world. There's always a choice. And a solution . The most important thing right now is YOU- both your physical and mental health. Put yourself first for a change and let us know how you get on x

[Butterfly22]

She is clearly taking advantage of your good nature, she is very lucky to have a mum who helps so much but taking advantage is not on.
I really feel for you as I've felt horrendous the last few days and the thought of what you feel and have had to put up with is draining me reading it.
You need to set some ground rules and stick to them.
Maybe explain how she has made you feel and what would she do if she felt poorly and you did this to her. Ask how she would feel towards you? Sometimes if you reverse the situation they can understand.
Hope your ok xxxx

[MammaG]

Dear Lil and Michele, you are both right. I am worn to the bone and I know my health must come first.

She got up and cleaned a bit after seeing the look on my face. She blames them and went on and on having seen the same behaviours I did from the guests. She was not brought up to behave that way. So as it goes, shes happy to help put the house back together which I was not expecting. I am going to take advantage of this window and make her hoover the house ect. I am exhausted.

As far as the hormones go I feel a bit lighter today. I hope that the lack of estrogen will be a good thing in short term. I will try and get an appt with the meno clinic before the Utrogestan is needed and maybe do 1 pump tentatively. The nightmare was terrifying last night. ....Boy what a ride.

[CLKD]

Is this child the mother of the baby who really should sleep in it's own bed! Do they both live with you?

You do not have to 'do everything for her'.  Maybe a discussion about a rota, suggesting that she does stuff that she enjoys. 

This behaviour of telling you that people are visiting in your house and not asking whether it's OK isn't likely to alter if this has always been the way.  Obviously people have different rules and often those are different for different people.  We have rules here and those who don't like them are quickly shown the door (no names, no pack drill).  I do ask if anyone is dropping by to bring a loaf of bread, a pint of milk and a loo roll ;-).

[MammaG]

CLKD, they do not live here. Grandchild has her own room at home and always has had. She sleeps with me when she stays over because she loves being with me.

No one has ever been invited to stay before. No one will ever be allowed to stay again unless they are invited by me.