ha ha. got a better one than that...
8 months pregnant. just finished work to go on maternity leave. Nice meal in new hotel. 2 restaurants. Really fancy and expensive and cheaper one. Seafood pasta in latter one.
Felt ropey, left table. Thought I'm not gonna make it to toilets at far end.Female maitre d standing outside posh restaurant. black suit, white gloves. Red lipstick. Saw the enormous pregnant lady stagger and start wretching. Ran towards her-try and push her along to toilets. So big that she only succeeded in pushing her against glass pillar of posh restaurant- behind which sat an elderly couple, dressed up to the nines, enjoying their special occasion. Well, have you seen the Exorcist? Enormous fat pregnant lady starts to spew up said seafood spaghetti against glass pillar then slides down said pillar. White gloved red lipsticked maitre d then starts to be sick at the sight sound and smell of the sick. Gloves and black suit were subsequently binned. Couple got their meal courtesy of the hotel. The manager kindly offered me a room to clean up but I was so mortified that I went home in shame . After ruining their special occasion, the beautiful Axminster, the crystal pillar. Hubby still sitting in restaurant thinking " she's been gone a long time" "Excuse me sir, I believe your wife has been rather unwell" entered reception to a scence of utter carnage" You couldn't make it up! To add insult to injury, son arrived 3 weeks early.