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[babyjane]

I guess at meno the oestrogen and progesterone balance gets upset and therefore so do our bowels 

[babyjane]

We are all so very different.  I am the same as Sparkle.  If I go too long without food I get terribly empty and windy, gripy and light headed but I can't tolerate being over full so little and often for me too 

[Menomale]

I used to think that my acid reflux was caused by my diet (quality, quantity and schedule) but that theory went to space when I decided to do everything that I was not suppose to do and guess what? Acid relux was gone. I blamed hormones.

Yesterday I ate a chinese veggie yakisoba and coca-cola (nasty I know, but I haven't eaten this for years) and blam, chest burn. But guess what? My chronic mild diarrhoea was gone and stools were perfect (ssssoooooorrrryyy).

I quit trying to understand this digestive puzzle! I think I'll trust my instincts and just avoid overeating or fasting for long periods, but I'm going to eat everything I enjoy and not worry about it anymore!

[Mbrown001]

There seems to be a bit of a theme for a few of us going on.

I too never had a period without having the runs. I actually thought everyone did at one point.

If I go too long with nothing to eat then I get very windy but I never eat between meals as then the weight piles on. Although I'm hungry I can't actually eat anything at all especially in the afternoons. I see people in cafes tucking into lovely cakes and I just can't. I really don't know why. Perhaps because my stomach has been trained not to eat between meals. I'm quite small and every extra pound looks and feels like three, so years ago I started the nothing between meals rule and have stuck to it.

Hormones definitely play a huge part in digestion. My daughter is on a progesterone only pill and suffers from constipation. She cannot tolerate a combined pill as extra oestrogen makes her physically sick. She must have plenty of her own and anymore affects her stomach.

I think knowing what suits is the key but when that seems to change on a weekly bad is it makes it vet hard to manage.
Ive had loads of tests over the years and the only diagnosis I have had is nervous dyspepsia. No treatment has ever been offered except for PPIs which brings its own problems.
I've been like this for many many years but things have become so much worse since meno despite being on HRT.

Mrs Brown

[Evelyn63]

Another sufferer !!  Have been reading this post with great interest.  I have had IBS (d)  all my adult life.  Have had numerous investigations but nothing untoward was ever found thank goodness, and basically I just have had to learn to live with it.  I go through flare up's, though rarely have a day when I feel I can rely on my bowel !  Like the others have said eating out, is not pleasurable , and I avoid if possible unless I'm sure I won't be too far from home.  It is insidious and invades every aspect of my life.  I can never be spontaneous , everything has to be planned with military precision, and I have to know exactly where the toilets are, and  if we are travelling , the route is defined as much as possible by this.  I try not to let it get me down, and by having strategies and planning ahead I manage to lead a resemblance of a normal life but its demoralising , exhausting and depressing.  Imodium and busocpan are my friend, I stock pile them , but try to use them only if travelling , for instance on a flight, which has its own problems as there are so many occasions you aren't allowed to use the toilet !   I have a cant wait card but thankfully have never had to use it, and a radar key which allows me access to locked toilets, again , haven't had to use it as I can usually find a toilet somewhere and when you are desperate , you don't be too fussy either !    I must look into the Symprove, have heard of it and intended to read up about it but forgot , this post has reminded me.  Those of you who have used it, would you recommend it ?   I am also going to investigate the FODMAP diet, my GP has recommend it and also a friend of mine with similar symptoms suggested I try it.

[Taz2]

I'm the same about travelling and eating out Evelyn. I also use Buscopan for travelling and if I am having a meal out. This problem with whether I'll urgently need the loo has stopped me doing many things although I am a bit better now at accepting invitations and explaining I might not want to eat. Having dinner around friends houses is more difficult as they have obviously gone to a lot of trouble preparing and cooking the food. I find the most difficult thing is that once I do need to go, after a meal particularly, then I will need to return to the loo many times - like a plug's been pulled  - and this is very embarrassing. I can't meet with friends for a meal before theatre trips or gigs for instance as once I've eaten I never know if I will need to be in the loo for the next hour on and off! Before my hysterectomy it was more manageable as it was worse in the mornings - typical IBS morning rush symptoms - but now that my bowel has settled in a peculiar way since the op it can happen at any time. I am trying to work out how to live a proper life - I am ok at work but not so good on training days or days when I'm being assessed and observed - but trying to book holidays and planning to meet up with friends is getting more difficult. I think that there is also a degree of muscle laxity due purely to getting older and it is better if I'm on HRT.

My partner just can't understand it, by the way, but he is a bloke and thinks that bowels are just part of life.  His favourite comment is "What's the worst that can happen - say you do have an accident you wont DIE". One of my friends sons is also a sufferer but he just calls it an MDD which stands for Mid-dinner dump. No hassle. No drama. Oh to be like that!

I did find this online for others who suffer from post-eating diarrhoea - not sure how helpful it is https://www.verywell.com/ibs-and-diarrhea-after-eating-1944813

Taz x

[Evelyn63]

Thanks Taz, I couldnt contemplate even going to the theatre or a show, unless I ate nothing all day beforehand other than maybe a banana and a digestive biscuit !  Or, if I could have an aisle seat I am not so bad, but as you say,sometimes the first bout isn't the last and I have seen me in a nd out of the toilet up to five times within half an hour !!!    I have one or two close friends who know the situation but have managed to hide it from everyone else.  My husband is very supportive but I feel guilty as I know things he would like to do, I cant.  We love walking but thats the most difficult of all in some ways, not so bad if we are out on the hills on a cold March day and no one else is around, less helpful if its a tow path or popular walk used by lots of others    Ive had one or two " accidents" and the shame and humiliation following them is devastating.  Last one , was in the summer past, we were at a wedding and had gone for a walk around the hotel grounds the next morning, I got about a quarter way round and knew I needed to get back ASAP to my room.  I will never forget that five minute sprint !  The lady was in cleaning and I just had to rush in past her , so embarrassing.  Luckily I had another pair of jeans and plenty of underwear with me and was able to have a shower and a lie down whilst husband got me tea and toast !  Good thing is now, he will go and do walks and things and I will stay behind and relax with my book or just people watch if we are in a hotel.  Its worse if I feel he is missing out too though he says its not the same by himself .    I will check out that link, thank you Taz

[Elizabethrose]

Blimey ladies, I'm so sorry you have to struggle like this. This site has taught me so much, I didn't even know this was a thing!

Hubby has suffered from IBS for many years and gets bloating, cramping and wind and feels terribly uncomfortable but no diarrhoea. Are there different types of IBS? Incidentally my son has always had to use the lavatory either half way through or after a meal, he's done so since he was born. As Taz says men seems to have no embarrassment about it all and he, like my husband, is happy to use any loo anywhere at any time.

My tummy has been upset for a couple of years which I put down to a lack of progesterone as any bleeds I've had have been anovulatory. I did get it checked with the GP because it had gone on for so long. All settled a little then a couple of months ago whilst away it started again. But nothing like you ladies. I often wonder whether I'm reacting to a food stuff but am loathe to investigate what that might me as the problem is really not serious enough.

I hope that this like so much of the other ghastly stuff we have to contend with is just a temporary thing that will eventually settle for you all.

[Elizabethrose]

What a nightmare Sparkle, I had no idea!

I've read comments from some of the ladies about worrying about getting to a loo but always thought it must be that something had upset them. Is there really nothing that can be done about this? The fact that people can't ever eat out or go to the theatre without starving themselves before really shocks me. How the heck can I have got to this age and not known about it. I suppose it's another one of those things that people don't talk about.

Well never mind about investigating the surface of Mars, find a cure for this, it must really disable peoples lives!

[Mbrown001]

It's a horrible cycle to get into.
The more anxious you get re your bowels then the worse you feel,  and then it just goes round and round. It's self perpetuating.

I have tried just about everything under the sun. Herbal, Chinese, Prescription.
You name it and I've given it a go with limited success.

As soon as my anxiety increases then so does my IBS.
I gave up a lot of socialising years ago. I just don't have the confidence anymore and I really scared of accidents. You feel the ominous low down rumble in your stomach and you just know it's not going to end well. It's horrible.

Hubby is pretty understanding fortunately and my kids know but no one else. I will happily tell anyone that I'm menopausal but under no circumstances would I say I had IBS. It's just too personal to be discussed.

Mrs Brown

[Elizabethrose]

Sparkle, I know you and I have had this discussion before re my pal with citalopram, it turned her life around re her IBS. I'm beginning to realise that in my extraordinary ignorance I may not have known the full extent of her suffering.

Mrs B, I'm flabbergasted and very sad when you say everything has been tried. I'm presuming you've seen specialists? It makes no difference whether it's medical, herbal, Chinese or a slap around the chops with a wet kipper, anything is worth a try when you have this nightmare to contend with. How it must dominate your life.

I'm going to speak to some medic pals about this, see if I can find out more. I feel terrible for you all xx

[Elizabethrose]

I don't think he has. Even as a tiny baby in intensive care, as soon as he was fed his digestive system was activated and he would poo. Every time. When he eats now exactly the same happens.

He is very like me, daughter like hubby. He is fast and super charged, living life at full pelt both with work and his social life, so there's a massive amount of stress to manage. He never stops which can't help his digestive system. He loves to cook but time allowing will eat on the run and at extremely odd hours. Pooing after eating is just part of his life, how it's always been and Taz's MDD is the way it is. I remember him going off to uni and his only request was that he have his own loo. He didn't care if he lived in a box in the middle of a field as long as he had his own loo. After the first year he'd lost all modesty in the normal male fashion and was brazen with his pooing!

My daughter on the other hand, like her father, said just last week that she suspects she has some food intolerances as she is having upset tummies and discomfort. Oh dear! x

[Mbrown001]

I've seen quite a few specialists. When we had private medical insurance I did take advantage. The only diagnosis I ever had was nervous dyspepsia.
IBS is a blanket diagnosis for when they have ruled everything else out.
I know mine was stress triggered over various events that I didn't deal too well with. They have all settled now and in actual fact I have a pretty stress free life so there is no reason as to why I'm an anxiety sufferer or have IBS. I think my body is so used to being this way that it's become the norm.

My best success has been through herbal medicine although even that was hit and miss.
I try really hard just to manage things in a natural way and leave the medication for really bad times.

My daughter also has digestive issues. We have discovered through a process of elimination that she is lactose intolerant. I think she always has been to a certain extent. She was always a colicky baby and had frequent tummy aches as a toddler. I took her to a paediatrician who told me that her problems were caused by having a much too healthy diet.
He told me if I fed her on fish fingers and chips she would be fine. I asked what the alternative was and was told that we just had to put up with the tummy aches  . Twenty years later the cause was found.

Has your daughter done an elimination diet Elizabethrose. It's really the only way to discover what's causing the problems. I would start with dairy to be honest as that is the most common problem. You can have a celiac blood test before you start excluding gluten although some people just feel better generally on a gluten free diet.

Mrs Brown

[Elizabethrose]

Mrs B. I'm sorry you have to struggle like this. I'm sure you will have tried everything, you seem very switched on about it all. I'm seeing a bunch of medic pals at the weekend, I'll see if I can pick their brains. None of them have a bowel speciality but who knows, they may be able to offer a nugget of wisdom. I'll pass anything on to you.

No my daughter hasn't done a thing yet, it's something that is only just dawning on her. She lives in France, where they are terribly switched on about natural remedies and organic this and that: she has managed to dramatically improve her skin after years of constantly fighting a loosing battle with mild acne. The sudden change really is quite remarkable.

She is mentally and physically affected by hormone change, can struggle at times, though we've set up strategies to allow her to pull herself up when needed. She has become very proactive about it and will only very occasionally call me when she knows she needs a kick up the backside. I'm telling you this because she is very like my husband (he's not affected by his hormones, though I do wonder on occasions! ) but he gets SADS and again has to use a series of tools to stay on top of it. Both share a dodgy tummy though my daughter's seems to be fussing more only recently.

She developed an allergy to cashews and pine nuts whilst at uni, carries meds for that and has an epipen though she's never had to use it as the tabs work for her. For some reason she can't eat Indian food. It gives her a tummy ache and recently mid-meal in an Indian restaurant, she had to go to the bathroom and vomit. Something clearly makes her react but with the millions of ingredients in Indian food, how do you identify and isolate that one ingredient.

She has a very wide and varied diet and eats very well. maybe she should adopt the fish finger and chips diet recommended by the dumb-nuts  paediatrician your daughter saw!!? OMG you have to wonder sometimes how some of them even make it through the first stages of training.

Have you been told whether there is a relationship between anxiety and IBS-D i.e. are they always combined? Can you suffer with IBS-D and not suffer from anxiety and or depression? It's all very interesting, I shall read up about it.

I'll spend more time with my daughter in the summer and will discuss her diet etc in more detail with her then.

In the meantime, I wish you well with this and hope you find some solution to it all. x

[babyjane]

I can remember staying in a posh hotel for our 25th anniversary years ago;  the food was quite rich.  One evening at dinner I  knew I had to leave the room but we were seated at the far end of the restaurant.  I had to walk the whole length of the room unable to control the wind  .  When I got to our room it was just wind but I was too scared and embarassed to return to the restaurant and I didn't want any more dinner anyway.  My poor hubby was left on his own wondering where I had disappeared to