Suzanne1967 - The outline of your life you have just given sounds enormously stressful - I am not in the least surprised your are struggling. The repercussions of this lifestyle over many years, then adding in menopausal symptoms, will naturally take it's toll. What you really need is some good practical help to relieve your stressful situation - you need more time to look after yourself. Whether it is possible to get this help, I suspect, will be very challenging but it really sounds to me as though you are carrying far too much on your shoulders. It's often the toughest people, who are pragmatic and resourceful, that end up needing more help, possibly because they are reluctant to seek or accept help. You are accepting our support so this is great - I just wonder what else you might be able to do to relieve things, even in the short term, to give yourself the time to get back on track?
It is far too easy to get into a cycle that is difficult to break - I know this only too well. I have a son with Special Needs and have faced quite a few challenges through my life that put me close to the edge - I have learned that I can't be all things to all people and now say “NO†to a lot of things.
Look at your priorities - your health and welling must be at the top of this list. I firmly believe you are on the right road but there won't be any quick fixes and somehow you need to have space and time to let your mind and body recover from all that has been thrown at you.
I hope this hasn't sounded patronising but I had counselling for a year back in my 30s which I found really beneficial - this made me really take stock and changed how I do things in a very positive way - I was taking far too much responsibility on myself, to the detriment of my physical and mental health and to the detriment of my close family and friends. Please, please take care of yourself. DG

xxx