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[starlight]

Hi, I have had my menopause, I am 51 and my menopause started at 37. I was still breastfeeding my 4th child when it started. Since then I have had 2 vaginal wall repair operations within 6 months of each other and hadn't had sex for a year before that. I have no desire to have sex and the thought of it makes me cringe. It's been 4 years now. I have told my husband that I will never have sex again, and he wasn't exactly happy about it but said at least he knows. I just feel that those days are gone. It's not natural to have sex after menopause no more than it was to have it before puberty. Does anyone else feel like that?

[CLKD]

Nope.  My libido disappeared within 17 months of being wed.  Because I love my husband we worked together on how to keep sex alive ……….. now in my mid-60s sex has improved enormously.  Desire has returned    ……. .  A friend told me that her sex life improved once she knew she would never get pregnant.

There are many ways of being intimate other than penetration.  Undoubtedly your surgical interventions have been problematic, no wonder you don't fancy intercourse.  Also if you are raising 4 children there must be a certain level of weariness by the end of the day ?  ?

Different cultures have different times when a girl is allowed to be sexually active.  For some tribes it is after the 1st 'period'  ……… then they are eligible for marriage.  (Maasi, Native Americans).

How is your relationship over-all? 

[Hurdity]

Hi starlight

 

Sorry to hear about your problems - this is very common. I am wondering if it might be better for you to ask the administrator (send pm to Emma) to put this into private lives where only members can see it - and you might get more responses than on the open part of the forum?

Hurdity x