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[Dancinggirl]

Perioxideblader - Do give HRT a go - unfortunately it tends to be the women who have trouble with HRT that post on MM but you seldom hear from the women who do really well.
The cancer risk is very, very small and doesn't really apply unless you are on HRt fro more that 15 years and over 60.
Quality of life is very important and at 47 HRT will actually help to protect your heart and bones for the long term.
Femoston is a very good one to try - the progesterone is kinder and suits many women very well.

dangermouse - after reading your story I am not at all surprised you are having problems.  Tackling digestive issues is particularly difficult and being over sensitive to any change within your body must be very challenging. I assume you have had full tests to look for allergies? Have you done the thing where you literally start on one or two types of food e.g. pears and chicken and then gradually add in more things to identify what you are allergic to?
I am also not surprised you are suffering with fatigue - your body has been through so much with the extreme digestive issues and that would take some time to recover from.
If your oestrogen and FSH levels indicate peri meno then HRT would still be your best option but you must do what you feel is right for you.  DG x

[dangermouse]

Dancinggirl - I only had slightly elevated FSH at my last test so was given the pill based on my symptoms and me realising all my a&e visits were whilst I was on my periods - kept putting it down to bad luck when I had to keep rushing to the loo hoping I wouldn't miss my name being called out after 7 hours of waiting! I'm actually ok with foods and don't have any allergies, just really funny with herbs, vitamin and mineral supplements and medications. I have had so many tests in the past and alternative investigations and tried so many lotions and potions in the hope of finding the Holy Grail but never to any avail! Caffeine makes me feel the opposite to most people, relaxed and clear minded, apparently this happens to some people (also those with ADHD I think?). I didn't have any for 6 months when very ill and wondered if I'd been addicted, although only had green tea and the occasional Red Bull (that used to chill me out!) but when I started the caffeine again I had no buzz, just felt nicely relaxed. However, if I had lemon balm I would be knocked out as if I'd been given a sleeping pill! I am also fine with alcohol and my liver handles it really well which I know isn't the case for a lot of you here. I've come to the conclusion that I'm just a bit weird!

Peroxidebladder - Please don't feel under pressure to 'have to' get better and be great company to others - you're not a performing monkey! As long as you keep the people close to you in the loop about your situation, it's their responsibility to then be a good friend/partner/mother etc. back to you with support and patience. If people think you are making excuses then that is a fault in their personality and a test of their strength, not yours. It's easy to take it all on yourself but your only responsibility is doing your best and being frank if necessary so that people have the facts, beyond that, it's their choice. However, if you know you've been unreasonable and perhaps emotions have taken over at times, then say you're sorry and try to explain more about what is going on for you. A lot of hurt can occur through miscommunication and others' assuming your personal issues are a reflection of your relationship with them - its easy to get sensitive and blame ourselves and not feel good enough but equally its easy for those close to us to do the this too, assuming they're causing us to be unhappy and thinking they should avoid us! Communication is key.

If you try your HRT and it doesn't suit you, you can try something else or stop - its all reversible. Nausea is a funny one as there are so many different forms of it. I haven't had kids so assumed mine was like morning sickness after hearing about Kate Middleton's extreme form but then when people said try ginger etc. I realised we are talking completely different types of nausea!!! However, in desperation I did try it one day and it made it SOOOO much worse as ginger is stimulating so added to the oestrogen surges - but would be perfect for sluggish digestive nausea. I suspect low oestrogen to high progesterone could cause that type of nausea along with constipation, which is what I had years ago (slow transit). However, this can also be debilitating when its constant as it's all relative to your current experience. If I try again I will go with patches and, again, you can just remove them if they make you feel too bad. The hormones will be out of your system within a couple of days and, depending on how long you give it, your body will gradually revert back to how you were pre-HRT.

Also, if your AD isn't working for you then consider changing or coming off of it. Three months seems to be the average time check to know if something suits you (unless its obvious it isn't what you need or the side effects are getting untenable). Unless these things are making you feel better then don't be afraid to say 'next!'. Goes for people too, although you can probably give them at least 4 months.

Try to reframe your anxiety for trying the HRT as exciting - who knows what great things might happen!!!

[Dana]

My life has been rubbish these last 3 years and until 6 months ago I never even thought of peri menopause...the insomnia is my worst aspect affecting my life I don't get to sleep til 3 or 4 am despite trying everything and the last 6 months I've been so down and volatile no sex drive hot flushes 24 7 and the last month getting nausea everyday it's not stopping me eating sadly but it's like morning s8ckness. All on top of becoming a recluse and never going out socially I haven't been out socially for nearly  5 yeas...this isn't a life it's barely and existence...so at 47 I know I have to give hrt a go or I'll lose my partner he won't put up with me much longer when I know he thinks I'm using peri as an excuse for everything...( already take escitalopran since a recent breakdown and occasional sleeping tablets for some sleep but I don't think I'm depressed I think it's just having my life collapse around me and I'm not the person I used to be)

Hi Peroxide

I can totally relate to the insomnia aspect. That was my worst symptom of menopause. I also got hot flushes, but I would have happily traded the insomnia for them. I went from being a perfect sleeper my entire life, to literally overnight either not sleeping at all or, like you, maybe I'd get an hour or two from about 4am. It's totally debilitating and soul destroying. My life was spirally out of control with anxiety and depression and I even considered suicide. There's a lot more to my story than that, with a dependence on sleeping tablets etc, but I won't go into the whole sorry saga now.

I think most of us have war-stories about our trials and errors of different HRTs until we found the right one, but you have to start somewhere. You may not get it right with the first one you try, but you really need to make a start. Your life is worth a lot more than what you are going through right now. It's no big deal if one doesn't work. You just try another one. There are lots of options and most of us finds a routine that suits.

In a way I was sort of "lucky" in that I never really went through any peri-meno, apart from irregular periods for a while. My meno symptoms hit me like a freight train with no warning at all. I think I must have sailed pretty briefly through peri and when straight to post-meno because when my doctor saw my blood test results she put me straight onto a continuous HRT (Livial). I think my estrogen levels must have dropped so low, literally overnight, that there was no doubt in her mind about it.

My routine now is 50mcg patches (estradot) and Provera on a 2 monthly cycle. Sure there are some stories about progestins, but I don't listen to them because currently I only take about 12 x 5mg tablets every second month, so I really don't think there is too much of a risk with that. I may need to review that if I want to go to a continuous method, but for the time being I'm very happy with my routine.

I do also think we have to realistic about what our lives are like with menopause. We are never going to be the same person we were in our 20s or 30s, but then I don't know that I want to be that same person anyway. I don't have the same energy I had, I tend to be more of a procrastinator now (but then I am also now retired), there are some days when I just feel "blah" (I'm not depressed, just feeling a bit down), and I still get the occasional hot flush, mainly around 4am for some reason. However, I sleep really well most of the time and I'm generally pretty content with life.

I hope you give HRT a try soon, as you really deserve to feel a lot better.

[Peroxideblader]

Thanks danger mouse and Dana for your kind and useful replies...Dana did your insomnia improve on hrt at all..that's my only big worry as so much of my depression and irritability and ill health is through lack of sleep...and if the hrt gives me weight gain and other nasty sude effects and has no benefit on sleep I don't think I could handle it. I have a life long eating disorder I eat fine nowadays but you always have it with you you never recover so I'm finding it hard enough to cope with the extra spare tyres and flabby tummy despite more exercise and no change in diet..so to gain a lot of Weight and still not sleep would push my anxiety and depression to new levels...I can cope with the nausea and headache and flushes blah blah but I can't take lack of sleep...if I was a dog they'd have put me down lol 😥

[Dana]

HRT definitely improved my sleep. I now go to sleep around 10-11pm and apart from a couple of loo visits I sleep pretty soundly. Occasionally I'll have a night where I can't sleep, but a small dose of my amitriptyline AD or a doxylamine antihistamine solves that. Those nights don't stress me anymore because they might only happen once a month, if that.

Insomnia has a dramatic affect on mood, depression and anxiety. Before taking medication for those conditions, I think you really need to try the estrogen because that will be a far more natural way to solve the problem. It's going to be up to you to decide what kind of estrogen, and subsequently what kind of progestogen, but you need to give something a try because things are not good for you right now, and I'm pretty confident the estrogen will help sort things out for you.

As for weight gain, that is definitely not inevitable. We tend to blame it on menopause or HRT, but really it's up to us to take measures to make sure we don't gain weight. I used all those excuses because I didn't want to admit it was what I was eating that caused my weight gain, but after joining Weight Watchers at the end of last year I have now lost about 20 pounds and I'm still losing. I didn't really have to change what I ate. I just became more aware of the in between stuff I was eating and also portion sizes.

I'm also not sure what nasty side effects you are concerned about. It sounds like you are allowing all those exaggerated media stories to affect your thinking. I don't have any side effects, unless you want to call a renewed enjoyment of life a side effect.

I'm afraid no one can really give you categorical answers to all your concerns. You just have to take the leap and try it for yourself. You've got nothing to lose, but a lot to gain.