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[Megamind]

Ju Ju, I think you are a wonderful mother! 

As I read your post about counselling your son and his wife I thought exactly the same thing Ju Ju. What a wonderful mother. Some mothers won't hear a bad word said about their son...and yes I'm talking about my Mother in Law!

[Ju Ju]

Megamind and Menomale, thank you for your kind words. Not so much wonderful, just good enough, which is good enough! I have had my appalling moments, but can forgive myself now. Which is easy now, cos I'm pretty amazed at the humans I helped to produce. I didn't do them too much harm!

Redfraggle, yes I do realise that it way more difficult with AS. But understanding must help. And loving unconditionally. Is he able understand you better or have you had to do most of the understanding?

[RedFraggle]

It's 99% my adjustment lol. But that's just the way of it when only one person has the ability to see from another's perspective.
The biggest thing to learn is to stop judging the AS behaviour as if it was coming from an NT person if that makes sense. You can't expect a cat to be a dog.

[Ju Ju]

Yes, I thought that would need to be the case. But hopefully, you share joy and love.

I think in hindsight my FIL was on the autism spectrum. My MIL was frustrated with him, though she did care for him. He was a good, intelligent man. When she was ill, she desperately wanted expressions of love. He undoubtedly cared for her, but didn't express it and when she died, he was devastated. None of us quite connected with him. It was if we were all on a different wavelength, close, but not quite close enough. You had to be very literal with him. Humour passed him by. I wonder whether a diagnosis of AS would have helped everyone else to understand. Very sad.

[Ju Ju]

How are you treated, Menomale? Is this what you are called or how you view yourself? As a 'weirdo'? If there is no official diagnosis of AS, what made you or others decide you on the AS spectrum? Does having a diagnosis help? I know it's different, but it helped when my son was diagnosed as severely dyslexic when he was young. It was a relief and helped us to support him appropriately and understand, though some people said it was wrong to label.

[CLKD]

You may find reading the UK National Autistic Society web-site useful Menomale. 

Don't worry about being a 'weirdo', you'll fit right in here ;-).

[Ju Ju]

I'm so sorry. This is so frustrating for you. Have been off work then? Did you cope ok dealing with students? Or was that stressful?

Good suggestion, CLKD. And as my daughter says, being weird is good! She glories in being different!

[CLKD]

I have never conformed - can't you tell  .

I had a strange upbringing so it was easier to retreat ……… my Mother wouldn't allow me to 'be' autistic though as a teacher she didn't believe in anything outside the norm.  .  I sat and watched a lot of goings on though 

[RedFraggle]

There's no support in this country for adults with AS either. We've discussed my husband going for a diagnosis but agreed with our counsellor (who thinks he would "pass") there's nothing in it for him at 49.
The main thing is we're aware, the GP is aware and we manage it.

[Taz2]

There's no support in this country for adults with AS either. We've discussed my husband going for a diagnosis but agreed with our counsellor (who thinks he would "pass") there's nothing in it for him at 49.
The main thing is we're aware, the GP is aware and we manage it.

Same here, even in Sao Paulo the laws and benefits are for children only. Where is the logical thinking???

Red Fraggle - if your husband gets a diagnosis of Aspergers then his employers have to take this into account. Of course it can sometimes backfire when applying for a new job as some employees might see this as being problematic - although obviously they are not allowed to openly discriminate.

Taz x

[Katejo]

There's no support in this country for adults with AS either. We've discussed my husband going for a diagnosis but agreed with our counsellor (who thinks he would "pass") there's nothing in it for him at 49.
The main thing is we're aware, the GP is aware and we manage it.

Same here, even in Sao Paulo the laws and benefits are for children only. Where is the logical thinking???

Red Fraggle - if your husband gets a diagnosis of Aspergers then his employers have to take this into account. Of course it can sometimes backfire when applying for a new job as some employees might see this as being problematic - although obviously they are not allowed to openly discriminate.

Taz x

I have a new trainee starting tomorrow. He has Asbergers. Will be interesting to see how it affects him (if it does) I have known someone before with it so I am quite familiar with it.

[RedFraggle]

There's no support in this country for adults with AS either. We've discussed my husband going for a diagnosis but agreed with our counsellor (who thinks he would "pass") there's nothing in it for him at 49.
The main thing is we're aware, the GP is aware and we manage it.

Same here, even in Sao Paulo the laws and benefits are for children only. Where is the logical thinking???

Red Fraggle - if your husband gets a diagnosis of Aspergers then his employers have to take this into account. Of course it can sometimes backfire when applying for a new job as some employees might see this as being problematic - although obviously they are not allowed to openly discriminate.

Taz x

He's self employed Taz. He also works in the building trade and the have a very get on with it or get out attitude. I agree though that in other environments allowances would by law have to be made if necessary.