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[MIS71MUM]

Hello

I hope you don't mind me venting but all alone and having an awful day.

Been crying since I woke up at 8 and still at it.  Over the last week I changed the time I take my AD's to evening instead of am. I was noticing some numbness so wanted this to happen while I was asleep. Now I've decided to change to morning again so didn't take it last night and was hoping to take this morning.  Anyway last night I had some horrible nightmares which scared me so came downstairs and took my AD at 3.15 am.  When I was alone this morning, I scared myself thinking that the AD's were ruining my life and I'd never be off them.

So all day been very down and worried that I will never come out of the other side of this. I can't help thinking that this time last year I was anxious and depressed but I was coping and I had energy. I feel like life is passing me by at 44! What's not helping is that now I have increased my AD's, I feel like a spider trapped in a glass...like life's going on but I'm not experiencing it.

So my thoughts are; are my AD's making me worse? is this peri? Or am I depressed?

I have everything I want in life....it's not perfect don't have a lot of money but have been blessed with 2 lovely children and a good husbsnd. I did tell my husband to leave me earlier and find himself a decent wife.

Maybe I need to work on my acceptance of this peri. But also can't help but thinking the side effects of the AD's make me flat and down.
Sorry to offload.

[Lizab]

Oh Mis71Mum! You poor thing! I hate that feeling. I don't really have  experience with AD, but it certainly sounds like peri/depression. I'm not sure there's any way or reason to differentiate between peri and depression. I was certainly anxious and depressed, and fortunately for me, apparently treating my low hormones was the trick. So that leaves you with how to treat yourself. Were your AD working until you played with the time of dosing? If so, then I'd guess that's the ticket. If not, then you probably need to ask about changing the dose or medication of your AD. Then of course there's the hormones. I can't remember if you're doing hrt. I guess the question is what's changed?

[walking the dog]

Mis71 mum , I know we. Have messaged /posted. Before, but I want to say again  for many you and I included the peri/menopause can be a horrible all encompassing experience physically and mentally. I hate. Saying it but my lifes  in pieces since this started. 6 years ago. Aged 44 .i love the positive posts the ladies give each other via hrt and ad s but I have to admit its not been my personal experience. And I'm sure I'm not the only one. I mean this in a positive way in that when hrt /ad dont help everyone with low mood etc you really do need to push your gp fotr talking therapies etc . I'm sure many ladies will r will reply and disagree with me but I'm.speaking from 6 years of trying this that and other and I'm no further on !I mean this I really mean this in a positive way sorry if its confused all I.mean id from my experience. Even though people don't want to hear nit hrt and ad dont cure meno issues for everyone

[walking the dog]

Sorry stellajane I just meant I have had a hideous tome and i still am , tjis forum.has kept me going 100 per cent id be dead without it . All I meant ll. Was Drs offer hrt and ad as the answer and its not always the case  I wish it were I really do xx

[Lizab]

Very true, walking the dog! I rambled too much, but that was my point in saying there's no way or reason to differentiate. It may be peri causing it, or maybe not. And maybe hrt or adjusting hrt would help. Or maybe adjusting or changing AD, or as you suggested counseling. I got lucky in that the hormones have made a difference, but it doesn't really matter if the cause is peri, depression, or AD side effects when you need relief from the misery of it all.

[MIS71MUM]

Hello
Got my in laws to come round to keep me company. The thing is there is a pattern, usually a few days around 20th, then a few round 2/3rd of the month. But what do I do about it? My HRT regime is evorel sequi 50 but gone from oestrogel as per my new ladies instructions. I sort of feel that I won't get relief until I override my own cycle...or is that my anxiety.

Jan, Feb and March this year were grest but I had 2 periods then too!

I haven't helped matters by increasing, changing times of my AD's.

[Dorothy]

If it's cycling like that then it sounds as if it's peri & linked to your hormonal cycle, such as it is.  Did you used to get down/tearful at any point in your cycle before peri started?  I've found that symptoms I used to get at set points in my cycle now pop up all over the place!

[dazned]

Hi its horrible feeling like that isnt it 

For the time being can you just try to leave what your taking alone for a couple of weeks. As you say you've just had a change of hrt,you changed the time of your AD ,your body wont be able to settle so you wont know whats what . I know its easier said than done believe me ,been there,but try to persevere for a bit longer at least one whole cycle on your new regime.

[Lizab]

At the moment, mine seems cyclical too. Five days into the progesterone and then the 4th day after finishing the progesterone, I think. I'm great today but kind of expect to be a blubbering mess tomorrow. All I can say is perhaps be glad you know when it's going to hit? I feel like if my dips remain cyclical, at least I know what's coming and can work on finding ways to cope those couple of bad days.

[CLKD]

I suspect it's peri-menopause.  Particularly if you can see a 'pattern' of mood changes.

If I miss my AD then I feel a bit weird the next day  i.e. muggy headed, but it does help my bowel if it's been a bit slow.  I've been on them since the 1980s though.

How are you this evening?

[MIS71MUM]

My in-laws have gone now.

I'm okay and hope that tomorrow's better. When you're in it, it's really hard to see the other side of it.  Really considering asking my GP for another AD though, as this doesn't seem to be doing much other than making me feel very flat.

[walking the dog]

Its like reading my own feelings mis71mum  my heart goes out to you cx

[CLKD]

Sometimes AD dose has to be hiked  .  It isn't a cure.  There are various types that ease various symptoms so worth discussing with your GP or a Pharmacist 

[MIS71MUM]

Thanks ladies - you really have been there for me tonight and I appreciate that.

Fingers crossed tomorrow will be better x

[CLKD]

Let us know how you get on!