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[Lizab]

Last night I set out to do some paperwork  and my brain would not work. Work that is normally second nature for me, I couldn't get my brain to function. I got flustered, had a quick cry over it, then I was able to work and think perfectly clearly.

Then today I've been in tears or on the verge of tears all day. I'm not sad. I'm not anxious. But I keep tearing up. I have no idea what's going on with me. My daughter brought me a flower from the garden and I cried. I mean, it was sweet of her but it's not like she paid off my mortgage or something, it was a dandelion!

Please tell me this happens and that it gets better. This kind of crying for no reason is so bizarre and out of character for me.

[jorainbow]

Just wanted to send you a hug and let you know you're not alone!  Hormones.  Awful things. At the minute I'm a bit anxious and a little weepy too and no idea why. I just allow myself to feel whatever I feel and go with it. If I want a cry I do. Your daughter sounds lovely -  it probably would have got me crying too 😉😉 xxxx

[Justjules]

Another one here in the crying for nothing much club and I'm post meno! Think there is a 'crying virus' going around 

[Meg]

I was, in a way, so relieved to see this thread.  It makes me feel that I am not so alone.  I am sixty-one now and it is eleven years since my last period.  What a change, I used to be able to cope.  I have noticed the crying has become more pronounced, probably over the last eighteen months. I just dont seem to have the stamina any more and get so exhausted.  I am not on HRT, my doctor consistently refused to prescribe it and honestly dont know if I would want to start it now.  The sweating just seems interminable.  Has anyone had any experience of clonidine, has it been effective in any way, have there been side-effects?  Clonidine or antidepressants seem the only other two options at the moment for menopause.  Sending sympathy to all in the same boat.

Meg

[Kathleen]

Hello Lizab

I am not in the crying club although I am plagued by flushing and jittering etc.

I just wanted to send hugs and to say your daughter's gesture was so sweet I'm not surprised you cried and who knows maybe one day she will be able to pay off your mortgage lol!

Wishing you well and hopes for a better day today.

K.

[MIS71MUM]

Hi Liza

Me too! I cry loads and would have cried over the flower.

To be honest, don't you think it's a good thing....at least you are able to show some emotions which is better than not.  That's my positive spin on it.

I cried when my husband asked me what we had in the freezer!

How old is your little girl? My two are 6 and 7, and if I cry I'll them that they are happy tears even if they aren't 😊

[Hurdity]

I am interested but sorry to hear about the crying once you are post-menopause and can only think this is due to low mood caused by oestrogen deficiency. I cried buckets at the drop of a hat when I was peri-menopausal - and probably just before this too - but didn't realise this was the cause. of course this is the time when hormones are surging up and down and pms becomes worse. Post-menopause there is no surging of hormones - but just low level of oestrogen - if you are not on HRT. Some of the synthetic progestogens in conti HRT may also cause similar symptoms eg anxiety or constant pms .

Lizab  - your tearing up is absolutely typical of peri-menopause and best to just go with it!

Meg - yours is more concerning - do you feel it is hormonal or do you have reason to be tearful? It is not too late (just about) to try a low dose - ideally transdermal HRT but not a moment too soon because the window is really within 10 years of menopause and under 60. I wouldn't want to start ADs if I could start HRT but it depends on what the reasons for your tears are? The exhaustion though could be hormonal as well as due to depression. I get tired even though I am on HRT. Also possibly ask for a blood tests re thyroid etc for the tiredness - also is your diet OK re iron and vitamins? That is outrageous that your doc refused to prescribe HRT - am I remembering you live abroad or is that someone else? You should not have to put up with sweats still.... I agree with Stellajane - maybe change your doc.

Hurdity x

[Mary G]

Meg, I agree with Stellajane and Hurdity, it really is disgusting that you have had to put on with sweating for all those years.  Is it hot flushes or just sweating all day and all night?

I have never suffered from depression (other than things going wrong in life that make me depressed) or crying episodes (apart from when my brother died) but I had a decidedly dodgy thermostat and broke into a sweat far too easily.  The only thing that worked for transdermal oestrogen gel.

Meg, if you can somehow get your hands on some HRT (preferably gel or patches) then go for it.  Don't hang around though and don't be fobbed off with ADs unless the HRT doesn't work.

[dogdoc]

Lizab .... I spent almost an entire year crying. Ugly cries, silent cries, sobbing hysterics. This mixed with perpetual anxiety and panic attacks and I pretty much thought my life was over. All I wanted to hear when I came on to these forums was that it would eventually get better.
I can't say my current situation is going to last as my body might just be giving me a bit of a break, but I've felt so much better for almost a year and almost normal for about 4 months. So it is possible to feel like crap most of the time for quite a long time and still be normal again at another time. I'm not done having periods yet so may still have some crap moments in the future.

I've been there though...feel your pain.
Tara

[Lizab]

Thank you so much, Tara! That is exactly what I needed to know! That's a huge relief.

[Meg]

Ladies, thank you for your concern.  I believe that I am not alone in being refused HRT as I have spoken to other women who have also been told no since the 2002 WHI study mostly to do with  breast cancer risk.  I know that there are now new guidlelines from NICE.  I think that I am one of those women who may suffer flushes etc indefinitely, I realise that this happens, I would therefore have to take hormones till I expire should a doctor agree to prescribe them for so long.  I do not believe that I could tolerate a conti regime and would therefore have a bleeding regime indefinitely which would probably not be acceptable. Should I go on HRT or other medication there is the let down when one stops, has problems of toleration or prescriber simply will not carry on prescribing.  Women are obviously desperately seeking solutions and thank you for your kindness.

Meg 

[Mary G]

Meg, there is no time limit on taking HRT, you don't have to stop.  I am an HRT lifer with no intention of stopping, not now, not ever.  I think the benefits of taking HRT are immeasurable, not just for symptom control and short term quality of life but as a preventative medicine for long term health.  Oestrogen is like a control centre for so many important bodily functions and without it, things start to go wrong both in the short term and the long term.

Those two HRT studies were deeply flawed and are responsible for ruining the lives of millions of women throughout the world and need to be consigned to the history books forever.  Nobody that matters takes either of these studies seriously anymore unless they are seriously behind the curve which some GPs are.  Professor John Studd is the UK's leading expert on hormones, the menopause and HRT and he has dismissed them and stated publicly that these studies were poorly conducted and plain wrong, end of.

HRT has moved on tremendously since the 1990s and the bio identical transdermal forms are quite simply life changing.  I use the oestrogen gel and it is fantastic.  These two wretched studies both used outdated, synthetic oestrogen and progesterone which hardly anybody uses now. 

You don't need to worry about somebody refusing to prescribe HRT, you can always get hold of it privately or online. 

I hope that helps.

[butterfly13]

Hi Meg
I always find looking on here so reassuring  there is always someone
Who will have had similar experiences,
You are not alone in being refused hrt
There is often a good reason i am one of many who is unsuitable,I don't believe all dr are unhelpful I'm in the uk
I am having the crying moments too an I think I could drive myself crazy trying to find a reason,hate the mood swings
Going with the flow an trying to relax about it does help ,
And finding time just for yourself too  will help  with your sense of well being

And people on here have reassured me it does get better hope you feel
Much better soon

Lynn

[Lizab]

Keep pushing for help, Meg. I am on hrt, but only a few months in, and I'm trying to change dosage now so I'll have to adjust to that too. If this doesn't cut it for me, I'll beg for anti-depressants. While I still have a ways to go before I'm "fixed", I can tell that my body and mind were begging for some hormones. I had the sweats for years before I even considered hrt. Actually, I was told I was in peri a couple years before considering hrt. Hormone supplements didn't even cross my mind until like you, my energy plummeted and my sweaty hot flashes became severe and I began crying over everything. I knew something was physically wrong, searched the internet and found this site, and Oh! That's right, I am headed into menopause! If I had the energy to be angry over it, I would be so angry that my gynecologist never discussed hrt or even menopause symptoms when she first told me I was in peri.

All that aside, do get some kind of help. I don't personally know any women that favor medications over going at it natural. There's almost a social stigma with it. But there is no way I (and a lot of other ladies here) could go with it naturally. You are so strong to have gone 11 years unassisted! Give yourself a pat on the back for that! But do go get yourself checked out and take the antidepressants if they're offered.