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[Bissal]

Hi,
I am nearly 44, have been diagnosed with early menopause, and all I can say is that I miss me - physically, emotionally, mentally SO much 
One of the biggest things is my ageing skin (by the day), and the complete loss of my breasts...they used to be firm and pert and have become soft and saggy, literally within weeks. I am traumatised.
Has this happened to anyone else? I feel so alone.
Debs

[Kate50]

Ah Debs
Don't be sad. I had lost my boobs but was glad as they were always big and I preferred them a bit more empty!  But since going on hrt they have filled up and grown again which is annoying!  Have you had children? Cos your very lucky if you had and they were still pert!
Please don't feel lonely it is a difficult time and takes a lot of adjusting to on all levels like you say and you not the only one.  Do you have another half?  Think it can be a shock cos no one ever talks about the menopause until your in it.  I'm 50 now and I started about 6 years ago. It's a good job my eyesight is going cos I'm sure I look worse in the mirror than what I see!  With age comes wisdom and lots of other good stuff but I know at the moment it won't feel like that.  I'm afraid to say but it's normal to age but society doesn't help with its high expectations of women. Keep posting you will get lots of support x

[kpatton56]

Sorry you are feeling so low. If you did consider hrt I have found that it has kept my breasts firm. I am on oestrogen only as I had a hysterectomy with my ovaries conserved when I was 37. I am 59 now 😀

[Bissal]

Hi ladies,
I am oestrogen for 7 weeks but things are getting worse, not better. They're not even staying the same, they are getting worse.
No, I have not had children, which is another thing I am panicky about.
I am single.
I want to try donor eggs, but feels so traumatised by how I am feeling this is not possible yet. I desperately wan to feel better to get on with my life, but I am feeling worse by the day.
i can't bear looking and feeling like this.
How long does it take to feel better?
x

[Kate50]

Hi again
Was you planning to have children then?
Is this something your doctor is aware of? 

[Bissal]

I was about to "go it alone".
I got bloods done as the physical changes were happening, and they diagnosed it.
Since then, despite being on HRT, my skin/boobs/hair are getting worse and worse.... 

GP knows, but hasn't offered any advice. Saw a gynae who advised egg donation, and I have up to age 50, but I just can't see me getting better. It's horrendous. I want to start NOW but it is not possible feeling like this.

I just want to be me again 

[Kate50]

It sounds like you need to see a specialist  cos maybe hrt won't be enough for you.  You could e mail Dr Currie on here she charges £25 for an e mail.  She could maybe give you some better info for someone in your position and point you in the right direction.  Counselling may be helpful too.

[Lizab]

Hi Debs. I am also experiencing the early menopause and had the deflated breasts. Last summer, mine went down at least a cup. I was actually happy about it as I have larger breasts and the shrinking seemed to tighten them up a little, but I did feel like I couldn't wear low cut tops anymore as the skin up high seemed like a granny's. They did seem to fill out again some even before I started hrt, and on hrt they're back to normal size. And my face has aged very rapidly. I always looked very young for my age and a few weeks ago someone thought my 32 year old best friend was my daughter. That hurt.
I do wonder if the changes hit us faster when we go through this earlier, or if it only seems that way because we weren't expecting it. The mental and emotional hit came practically overnight for me.
The hrt has made it more of a rollercoaster for me, very up and down, but after about 8 weeks on I was able to see that overall things were beginning to improve. I was (and am after 3 months on) still not good, but finally feeling some improvement overall. I think the worst for me now is I do finally feel like me much of the time, then I get a blip and think it's all going south again, because I also feel traumatized by all this.

[Bissal]

Hi Lizab,
Thanks for your message.
How old are you?
I too always looked young for my age, and now suddenly I look older than people my age. It's horrible!
People say I "just look tired" but I know it's far more than that  It is horrendous.
My boobs definitely haven't tightened up...they've gone so loose, men used to say they loved my boobs...now I can't see me ever being with a man again.
Like you it happened FAST! I'm so scared for my life 

[Halfpint]

Hi Bissal,
I have had deflated breasts for a long time even before my children. They've always been big  but they have always been droppy, I never felt very confident over them but then I breastfed my children and they became even worse, like empty sacks! I've had midwives comment on how droopy they were when they helped me breastfeed (which I really struggled with due to their  droopiness!), also when I went for my mammogram she asked if I had any problems with my breasts, I said 'no, only that they're droppy' and then when she was doing the mammogram she said 'they are droppy aren't they'!
I also feel like I've aged a lot. People used to always think i looked younger now I find it upsetting when I tell people my age they don't say 'you don't look it' like they used to!

[Kate50]

Halfpint
You have made me laugh so much and I know it's not suppose to be funny.  But your down to earth take on it is refreshing.  By the time you have had a few children things like this become such a norm so I know it must be such a shock for you Bissal.  I take it your boobs are droopy halfpint!

[Halfpint]

Happy to make you laugh Kate! Yes they're droopy! When I breastfed, I had to develop my own style as couldn't do it the 'proper' way and also, had to always pull back the breast a bit or else I would have suffocated my poor little babies!!
In my 30's, I lost a lot of weight and they became even worse, just sort of hang down and I have to tuck them into my bra and line up the nipples ha ha!!
My husband still seems to like them though and after breastfeeding, my nipples did become ultra sensitive so that's the only good thing about them (although not nowadays that I have no libido!).
Yes must be hard for Bissal because she is single but Bissal, you mustn't let it make you feel unconfident around men..the man is going to love you for you, not for you boobs!

[Lizab]

Hi again, Debs. I'm 39 now. Yes, it happened super fast. Two years ago, often when going out with my husband who is my age, my baby, and a dear friend that was 19 at the time, people thought the 19 year old and I were a couple and the baby was ours! I don't know who they thought my husband was. And now I'm being mistaken for the mother of 30+ year olds.

I will say that I think the hrt has helped my facial aging a little. I could always go with or without makeup, and slacked on moisturizing. The past several months I have had to be religious with moisturizing and haven't dared to leave the house without full makeup. While I'm still not going out without makeup, I think I could almost go back to being a chapstick and mascara only kind of girl. Hopefully with continued improvement by midsummer I can.

It is scary. I wish I could tell you it definitely gets better, but I'm still having days where I fall into a cycle of doubt and throw myself a big pity party and mourn the loss of who I was. The girls on here have helped tremendously with encouragement. I have determined I will not be an old lady overnight just because of the menopause. There are girls that have a sugical menopause following hysterectomy much younger than us, and they don't retire to their rocking chairs forever. I have to keep reminding myself of these things.

[Bissal]

Thanks ladies.
At least you have husbands and children; that is one of the main things that absolutely panics me now. I don't know what I am going to do. I have so many regrets and keep trying to think of solutions.
I have felt suicidal.
Is there anyone on here in the same boat as me?? I feel so alone 

[Kate50]

Ah don't feel alone is there any one close to you you can talk to? Maybe an organisation more tailored to your specific needs.  Whereabouts in the country do you live ? Firstly all is not lost and regrets will only make you feel worse.  What is most important to you the look of your body or your need for a child?  I don't mean to be blunt but it needs to be asked so you know what to deal with first. We may not be in same boat but can get a sense of your total devastation and the shock it must be we all had years to get use to this and having children and husbands gets you use to it!   What would you like to sort out first? I saw some websites where ladies like yourself were dealing with this and there seemed to be a lot of positive response in being able to still have children but they were all taking larger amounts of hormones and seeing specialist's.  Is a partner something you want?  Lots of men out there appreciate women for who they are and not just their body.  Keep talking whether you've had kids or not your still a woman and we should all stick together x