Yep my suggestion would be to write down all the things that you need to do. Rope in who ever you can to assist you. Accept that this is a party for you and your friends who love you not the final heat of master chef.
Tell yourself that you are already perfect so the party will naturally be perfect too. P.S it doesn't have to be perfect in order to be the best party ever by the way. lol!
Write down any remaining anxieties, fess up to them with those who can help you to reason them out then draw a line under your planning and do lots of lovely pre party pampering and relaxation stuff plus all the things that tigger said.
Have a wonderful, menopausal Birthday

xx