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[Dyan]

Aww Mandz, sorry you're not feeling so good.
I'm afraid that's the way it goes. There's been loads of times when I thought," this is it, I feel normal" only to wake up the next day and find I've gone right back.
Until you get on a level you will have dips.
Please don't be angry with yourself(been there done that) it is not your fault. You are ill.
Try to accept that and take each day,half day,hour whatever, as it comes.
  X

[Mandz]

Thank u ladies

I'm so fed up of myself....everyone has to deal with things, people out there are struggling everyday, I just feel really selfish xx

[CLKD]

…………… "people out there are struggling everyday, I just feel really selfish "   â€¦....  that's quite narcissistic.  How do you know people are dealing with 'stuff'?  On here we can be honest and share experiences and feelings but actually, although I know that there are people 'out there' with problems, NO ONE has bigger problems than I do when I feel ill. 

When I feel OK-ish I will offer up assistance if it's required.  Give yourself some slack.  The Change of Life can throw up all kinds of issues so try taking half a day at a time.  Making a list helps me so that I don't over-do stuff or I get really tired.  It really is Trial and Error which can be so tiring 

[Mandz]

quite harsh: narcissistic

I meant that I feel that on the whole I wish I could stop myself from being so panicky, crying, stomach churning, worrying about what people think of me......but although I've had friends popping by now n again ....(and this forum has been a huge help) ....family(of males  .... I just feel so lonely and anxious

[vickypk]

Hello Mandz
Hope you feel better soon.  I'm feeling lonely and anxious at the moment and also with a family of males.  Don't know why I feel like this.  I had been feeling a lot better, but for the past couple of weeks have gone backwards with everything. 
Best wishes

[Mandz]

Hi thanks sparkle, thank u for your kind words, typical Sunday evening thoughts going through my head---- half my head says that I,ll conquer anything ....other half saying, who you kidding?

Awwww vickypk, it's hard with family of males although I've always been honest and open with them al, ( their future wives might thank me ) that I love them all no matter what but I just can't help this..
Vickypk I'm sending you much hugs, are you maybe in need of a boost of meds? Xxxx

[babyjane]

I'd like to share a theory that helps me when I feel like Mandz has described and it is this

I have a toothache and you have a broken leg.  Your broken leg is more difficult, probably more painful and will last a lot longer than my toothache.

However, knowing that does not make my toothache hurt any less whilst I have it.

All things are relative and the situation we are in is ours and matters just as much as anyone else's.

Mandz, your 'toothache' is no less worthy of attention than anyone else's 'broken leg', if you get my meaning.  Don't ever be afraid to share what is worrying you

[Mandz]

Awwww bless you sparkle and baby Jane

Hopefully sparkle your daughters may sail through it, or the very least be well educated xx
 

Yes bj, I understand xx

Just being floored with this debilitating anxiety and depression has made me feel useless and ver lonely! ......... And yes I feel very sorry for myself, because at times I'm totally irrational and overthink things and I know I'm being like that and I can't stop myself 

[babyjane]

Mandz I was in a similar place about 18 months ago but I was determined not to let it define me.  I felt wretched for not being able to defeat it but I was determined not to let it beat me.  I allowed it to co-exist with me while all the time trying out ways of getting to grips with it.  Some things worked and some didn't.  CBT gave me tools to cope on a day to day basis but didn't go deep enough and I am now having therapy for childhood related trauma that affects how I react in the here and now.  Antidepressants didn't help the anxiety but St John's Wort and beta blockers did.

Last night I woke up several times with anxiety surges but prior to that I had a few clear days.

this is my experience and it won't be yours, but I sincerely believe that all things will change and pass.  I had to learn to stop fighting it, be honest with my family and look the anxiety squarely in the eye and challenge it wherever I can.  If it wants to rule me for a day or two so be it, but I will come back at it every time.

If you can do nothing else just now, keep repeating 'I am not useless' because you are not, you are just not very well just now

Love Jane x

[Mandz]

I've had depression on and off for years.....last time I felt that reiki really helped me

But since having my hysterectomy 3yrs ago I just haven't been right, ovaries left!!! I still know when I'd be due on!
All last year I dipped and dipped til WHAM ....... I broke!!!

I'm full of great intentions.......like this morning I was going to do some gardening, can't face it!,,

My counsellor said last week, endings are a struggle for me, and she's right, looking back at things weirdly enough .......

Sorry I'm babbling xx

[babyjane]

I had a hyster with ovaries retained when I was 38 (21 years ago) so I never knew where my cycle was or when I entered perimeno until my first hot flush/night sweat 6 years ago.

My anxiety kicked in after our daughter's wedding.  I had been on high alert for some months and I didn't come down after the event.

[Mandz]

Strange how events effect us 

I'm due to go back to work in three weeks and don't know how the hell IM going to manage, my body has just shut down, I can't et enough sleep?!!!!! What's that about...,,,

I look and feel a mess     

[coldethyl]

Bj's analogy is very good. I hate it when people say "you could be worse off, you could be dying of cancer etc." Only those who have suffered with anxiety or depression understand how bad you can feel and sometimes , dying would be easier ,I think as at least the days of endless suffering would stop. I have good and bad days and am learning to go with it as much as I can and be kind  to myself - it isn't our fault that we are having a bad perimenopause so all we can do is try and not add too much anxiety and feeling useless on top of the way our fluctuating hormones are making us feel. Xx

[vickypk]

Hi Mandz
Thanks for your message, that's nice of you. It's difficult if you have to go back to work.  I gave up working a couple of years ago when all these weird symptoms started happening to me.  The anxiety is better most of the time.  I still get days when I think i'm back to square one.  I did try citalopram a couple of years ago, but I couldn't get on with that.    Hope you are better.
Best wishes
x

[Mandz]

It's just this feeling of hopelessness....it just seems to never go away

I've got dentist at 230 and I'm stressing about it, it's only a check up

I actually feel scared all the time xx