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[limpy]

Trying to reply to a private message but can t see where the "reply" button is - please help 

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[Hurdity]

Hi panda123

In addition to what has been said - and I'm not sure if this has been suggested elsewhere - but you can always have an e-mail consultation with Dr Currie which is only £25 - information on the home page of the website or under "contact" at very the top of this page (on the right in blue). If you give her all the information about yourself and your prescription and ask her whatever it is you want to know, those of us who have consulted her have found her to be extremely helpful.

The other thing is you don't have to take the utrogestan for 14 days - the licensed dose for a monthly cycle is 12 days. You could start with this and see how you get on. The usual side effects are sleepiness and foggy head, and perhaps feeling a bit dizzy - but if you are lucky this is all you will feel - and should be tolerable.  Some of us take it vaginally (unlicensed) and then less can be taken but best to start with the licensed amount and take it from there.

When is your period due? The best way to transition between the two really is to take a whole course of the femoston - if it is already synchronised with your natural periods - but do I remember that you didn't start while you were on Day 3 but somewhere mid cycle? Basically you want to start the Oestrogen about Day 1 of the bleed if you can and hope you synch with your own hormones!

Good luck with it

Hurdity x

[Kate50]

Hi again
I started on gel straight away in his office!  He wasn't concerned at all about the fact I had been on other stuff and hadn't taken hardly any progesterone in 5 months. Told me to stay in oestrogel only for another 2 months bf I attempted utrogestan and then only 7 days. I also had bad sickness in pregnancy but not as long as you! Never been able to take BCP either. I had one bleed back in November after trying to take femostan progesterone bit after only 3 days of taking it and I bled for a week.

[panda123]

Thanks Hurdity - I will definitely keep the tele consultation in mind if I decide not to see a consultant.

Kate50 - that is all so interesting!  Especially the bit about not taking progesterone for 2 months - bliss!!  Please let me know how you get on.

Thanks everyone on MM - will keep you all posted on how its going!

[GypsyRoseLee]

Welcome Panda

I'm another girl who can't tolerate progesterone. Long history of PMS. One brand of the Pill put me in a depressive state for a year. Had PND after my first baby. And since I turned 40 have been battling hormonal anxiety and depression all over again.

I totally 'get' how anxious and desperate you feel, because I get just the same. Unless you have experienced it yourself, it's easy to dismiss it as 'just feeling a bit on edge'. If only that was all it was!

You might be interested to know that I am currently trialing Femoston too. Last month I started on 1/10 and did fine on the oestrogen only tabs, but within 48 hours of taking the progesterone my anxiety and depression returned. I battled through the next 14 days feeling awful.

At the end of the 1/10 pack I swapped to 2/10, hoping the higher oestrogen dose would improve my reaction to the progesterone part of the pack. The first few days on the 2/10 were very up and down, but once the progesterone had cleared my system I felt great for the next 10 days. But, just like before, as soon as I started the progesterone the anxiety and depression returned. I battled on for 6 days, but felt awful again, so stopped the progesterone and started a new pack and resumed taking the oestrogen only tabs.

Lots of women do very well on Femoston, but I presume they are not very progesterone intolerant? I decided that if I'm so intolerant of the prog in Femoston then I'm very unlikely to get more tolerant over time. So I stopped taking the progesterone.

Also I found I was getting quite nauseous taking Femoston. So this morning I applied a 50mg patch and I will just use patches until I see Annie Evans in 2 weeks.

[panda123]

Thanks so much for your message GypsyRoseLee.  After some wonderful messages and advice from other MM members I stopped the Femoston 1/10 yesterday before I took any of the combined grey tabs as I was just too scared to take them as I was 99.9% sure I would crash into depression and anxiety again.  My GP prescribed Oestrogel and Utrogestan for me and I started on the gel today.  I will use it for a few weeks and then gird my loins and take the Utrogestan. 

As you so rightly say, it is more than just a "low feeling" that progesterone brings on, its more like a crushing inability to function or have any rational thoughts.  The word anxiety goes no way to describing the over-whelming terror and lack of being able to feel that life will ever be anything other than sad and painful, then as a double whammy the depression sets in and even going to the loo seems impossible.  I have been dogged by these feelings since I was 17 (now 51) and been prescribed Ativan, diazepam, the old AD s (before the SSRI s came along), Prozac (nearly sent me mad), sleeping tablets, MAIO s, lithium - the list goes on.  I have been on Citalopram for the last 18 years and it has kept the worst of my symptoms away until the last couple of years. 

It has taken many many years for me to conclude my hormones were responsible for all this as it was always waved aside by my doctors (including psychiatrists) despite the fact it was always at its worse for 2 weeks after my periods.  Only through talking to other women (many of whom suffer in silence because we are all scared of being thought of as psychos!) did I finally insist to my doctor that I thought it was hormonal.  I know I ve got a long road ahead of me and still need to take progesterone to protect my uterus but I am hoping and praying that at last I might be on the right road to finding some peace from all the mental turmoil.

I am so grateful I have found this forum as it is proving to be a life-line with so many lovely people always willing to try to help and share their experiences and opinions.

Panda xxx

[panda123]

PS GypsyRoseLee - please let me know how you get on with the Femoston 2/10.  Good luck

Panda xx

[panda123]

Oh hang on GyspsyRoseLee, I made a mistake, you ve  stopped the Femoston and sticking with the patches til you see Annie Evans - sorry it s my brain fog  !  Please let me know how you get on.
Panda xx
 

[GypsyRoseLee]

Yes! Yes! You describe it perfectly. It's extreme anxiety, mixed with overwhelming dread and despair. When it strikes there is 'nothing' I can do to stop it. And, just like you say the cruellest thing is that it convinces you that you will NEVER feel normal again. So you feel even more despairing because your skewed mind insists you will feel like this forever. Then you panic, because that thought is just unbearable.

When I had PND I was convinced my baby would never get older, or more independent and I was going to be trapped caring for a newborn for the rest of my life. Totally irrational, but the anxiety tricked me completely.

Have you looked at Prof Studd's website? You will.immediately recognise yourself in his case studies on hormonal depression and anxiety. I know I did! If you have always suffered with PMS etc, then you're very likely to experience an increase in severity going into peri menopause, which happened to me, and obviously to you.

I'm glad you didn't even try the grey tabs. I did, and it was nasty. Another two weeks of my life I will never get back. And I tried them.again, the next month. Even more nasty. 6 days of my life I will never get back and a surprise weekend away totally ruined.

I will be very interested to see how you get on with Utro and gel as this is the regime I expect Annie Evans will give me. Please keep us posted and I promise to let you know how I get on with Annie Evans.

[panda123]

I can t believe I have found someone who understands so perfectly what it feels like .  It s the utter and total inability to believe that you will ever come out of the deep dark hole and ever feel happy again.  I am always 100% convinced that I will definitely be stuck in that place for ever.  I have even tried writing down messages to myself to read when I m in the depths saying that I ve felt like this before and will come through it but I still can t believe when I read them that I ever felt well and I certainly can t believe I will ever feel well again.  My sister gets so frustrated with me and can t understand why I can t keep it in perspective!  She just doesn t understand that I am completely helpless whilst in the grip of "the monster". 

I will let you know how I am getting on and look forward to hearing the out-come of your appointment.  In the mean-time we ll keep our (probably soon to be hairy) chins up (got to laugh at ourselves on the days we re able to)!!!!!!!!

xxxxx

[Maryjane]

Dr Annie is lovely really kind.

[GypsyRoseLee]

Yep, it feels like you're falling down an endless black hole and you will never climb back out again. And when you're in 'the hole' then nothing helps. My lovely DH has bought me flowers or whisked me away for a romantic weekend. But nothing works or helps. We could win the Lottery, and it genuinely wouldn't cheer me up.

I am just a totally different person when in 'the hole'. I am very withdrawn. Can't smile. Barely speak. Totally indecisive. Even putting together a simple meal overwhelms me.

But when not in 'the hole' I am bubbly, self confident and very organised.

It's this total Jekyll and Hyde transformation which has led to so many women being misdiagnosed with bi polar. Prof Studd's talks about this on his website and it is a recognised indicator of hormonal depression/anxiety.

[panda123]

Hi Ladies
Just to let you know I ve had a great 3 weeks on the Estrogel and tonight is my first Utrogestan pill - keep everything crossed for me that I don't disappear down the deep dark progesterone hole!!  I ll keep you posted on how I get on.
Panda 

[Dancinggirl]

panda123 - don't expect the worst - you may be surprised and feel fine.  I do think it is unrealistic to expect not to get some PMT around the withdrawal bleed - try to relax and know that any negative side effects you may experience will pass. DG x

[Mandz]

Panda,

I'm so pleased to hear you are feeling so positive..... That's me been on it a week.... Just a wee question, do u put it on ur thighs or arms?

Love m x