Justjules- not been on here for a while so just caught up with your thread.
I can totally relate to your posts.
I was diagnosed with OCD in 2004 at the age of 43.
It can take on many forms including health anxiety which I had last October.
I was getting bad heartburn everyday and I convinced myself I had stomach cancer,I googled and everything, really frightened myself.
It wasn't until I had seen the doctor and had camera down and got the all clear that I felt better.
I feel for you,I really do.
I'm suffering with OCD again now- negative thoughts going round & round.
Thankfully after my diagnosis, I was put on meds and therapy and I can now manage it but it is so,so,hard. It is a real effort to not get into that cycle and I have to go through the depression and anxiety which is part of the OCD before I come out the other side.
Because my OCD is mainly thoughts and seeking reassurance,no one can see that I have it,so really you could say I'm suffering in silence.
My DH knows I'm not myself at the moment because I have told him,and also that my OCD is there.
There are times when the anxiety gets so bad I want to seek that reassurance to at least feel better but I know that if I start to the cycle will begin again.
I know that seeking will only make me feel better for a little while then the anxiety will start all over again and my DH will also suffer.
Hope this helps in some way.
Dyan X