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[JulesB]

I have been dipping into this site over the last few months and was relieved to see I was not the only one, so decided to sign up.  Now is the time to say hello.

I'm nearly 45 and have been experiencing perimenopausal/menopausal systems (irregular periods etc) for a while.  I did have a test for hormone levels although the doctor said these were normal, but then she added that sometimes the results won't show you're menopausal until it's happened and it's all finished!!

She has put me back on the pill to help regulate my periods.  As a side effect of this I am now more tearful.

My main symptom though is an increase in my anxiety levels.  I've always suffered from bouts of anxiety and can get worried over the smallest thing (I'm an only child and still have a very overactive imagination), but I now get very panicky and feel sick and have a general fear of dread and that the worst is going to happen, even though in reality it probably won't. I also suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder, so the winter months with the dark mornings and dark evenings are not good for me.  I can feel worse when it rains. We live near a river (although we've been there 20 years and nothing yet has happened with regards to the house and water) but my overactive imagination doesn't help.  My mum (she's 75) has just been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes, which was to be expected as it runs in the family and she's fine with it, but when I was told I just went to pieces.  I just feel like I'm no longer in control which I really don't like.  I anxious about how I'm going to feel if certain things happen, yet I know these thoughts are only my head, they feel so real.

The weird thing is I feel worse in the morning when I have to get up and face the day, but in the evening I feel calmer.

The doctor has told me I am suffering anxiety and suggested a course of Prozac (which I'm seriously considering).  Though my husband is not keen on me turning into a walking zombie (as he put it), but surely if will help it can't be a bad thing.

My husband is actually very supportive (we've been married 21 years with two kids – a girl aged 9 and a boy of 13) and my Mum is there when I need her, which I am very grateful for but advice like pull yourself together, you just have to get on with things or be grateful for what you've got, sometimes really don't help me feel better about myself.  Mum keeps telling me I need to keep busy to take my mind off things which is easier said than done.

I really don't know whether I'm coming or going some days and I'm more recently telling everyone close to me how much I love them as I burst into tears again as I do so.
 
I really don't like feeling like this, as one minute I'm telling myself I'll be fine, then the next my doubts take over and I'm back to square one again.

I'm finding it very difficult to keep telling myself that I'm feeling like this because of what my body and mind is going through and some days I just want to curl up and not admit to myself that anything is wrong and hide away from everything.  The main thing is that I don't and I'm still going to work and doing all the usual everyday things and I haven't given up.

The doctor did suggest counselling/therapy but to be honest I'm also anxious about that as I just feel it would open up a whole can of worms and make me feel worse.

Maybe just talking through things on here will be enough.

I'm not the only one feeling like this am I?

[SadLynda]

no, you are not alone feeling like this.  I tried a lot of things first as my previous 2 GP practices were of no help, one thing that did help me was Acupuncture (traditionally trained) but sadly I can no longer afford to go.  I went back to square one with all the feelings you have mentioned.

Visited my new GP just over 2 weeks ago and she has started me on AD's, I am on 'Sertraline' which does not suit some people but I am fine, just had a bit of nausea for a week to start with, whilst I am not yet doing a happy dance I am coping better with the negative thoughts than I was and it is only early days yet.

I have just been reading that hrt can also help with these feeling so sure someone will be along to talk about their experience with that option too.

Oh yes, (almost forgot) I am not in Zombie state either

[elainewin]

Hi...Jules
I was prescribed prozac a few years back and i to was scared i would be like a zombie. i was on it for a year and can honestly say it at the time was a wonder drug took away all my fears and made me sleep better i felt more cheerful.
However 8wks ago i started Hrt and so wish id gone back to prozac ...everyone is different but it really is worth ago ,AS for me im sticking with hrt for the time being but if my moods dont sort out very soon i would have no hesitation returning to Prozac, good luck on your choices.

[Milamam]

Hi Jules,
I am nearly 45 too, with two kids 13 and 8 , and like you, my life all messed up two-three years ago when unexplained anxiety overwhelmed me. To the point where I was hardly able to go to work! Constant shakes, dreadful thoughts, overreacting , you name it. I didn't connect that with perimenopause. For about a year I was put on Citalopram and it had a good effect. It was 18 months ago when friends pointed me toward possible hormone problems. None of the doctors I saw at the time suspected menopause. The first gynea I visited did blood tests and confirmed that FSH was within range but slightly high and estradiol was low. She prescribed herbal pills which I took for 3 months with no effect. The second gynea looked at my results and when I told him I also suffer with night sweats, insomnia and high anxiety, he immediately prescribed HRT. He said I will be back to normal within 3-4 months. I didn't believe it, I have given up hope that I will ever feel better again!
But, indeed, gradually flushes stopped, I begsn to sleep better, and within 4 months anxiety has gone. I can now go to places, enjoy stuff, and most importantly, be there for my loved ones.


I am writing this to say that there is a way out and you shouldn't give up. If ADs are your choice, try and see how you feel. HRT is also a very personal choice and it affects different women differently. But you are young and should try all available options to feel better. This site was of tremendous help to me, keep posting and I am sure you will get lots of support.

Milamam

[dolly64]

HI julesb
I am another newbie,joined few weeks back.im 51 and in peri,periods had been here,there and everywhere,missed 3 months but returned,was getting bloating,sore breasts,ibs,migrains around period time but was coping.then I had a really heavy period,afterwards I had missed heartbeats,usually at night,then a day of palpitations,am now waiting for results of a monitor,been a month can you believe,not fair as I see it.Anyway this all started off anxiety,i also get worried,stressed easily,so not good,at least you are carrying on regardless,so well done,i made mistake not going out for nearly 2 weeks and when I tried to had the usual nasty anxiety/panic symptoms.i am making myself do dogwalks,pop in shops ect,going out in the car is difficult and hubby takes me for a ride everyday,gradually getting longer distance,im making progress and trying be upbeat but its hard,i keep thinking I want old me back..my dr put me on low dose betablocker for palps and wont consider anything else until heart monitor results,although I want to try get through without anything else if I can..my mum is 83 and she worrys about me,but like your mum she keeps telling me im fine,dont think about it and get on with things,wish it was that easy.
I have my name down to see a councellor,told a waiting list,so I just keep trying my best.

I hope you feel better soon,keep doing everything you normally would do,thats what I should've done,perhaps also seeing someone to talk with would be good to try,before thinking of medication.But lots of ladies on here take medication and has helped them,so if we have to also it shouldn't worry us.All the best.
dolly64.

[CLKD]

   Prozac made me angry  but I have good effect with Escitalopram …………….

Let us know how you get on!

[JulesB]

Thank you so much for your words of support so far. Must admit your comments made me cry, but in a good way. Wasn't expecting to feel like that when I read them.

Jules xx

[CLKD]

Another symptoms 

Keeping a food/mood diary can be useful too. 

[momlet]

Hi Jules,

I'm also new on here but have been reading for a while.  I can relate to your symptoms. Dolly64 post also rang a lot of bells. 

I'm now 50 but had been getting symptoms since at least 43 years old.  Anxiety, feeling like you can't cope, insomnia, terrible PMS, irritable, heart palpitations. Not my usual self.  There's nothing in my life to cause that many symptoms. My doctor prescribed Prozac among a few other AD's and I would say it helped me for two years but since I have taken oestradiol in HRT I have realised the symptoms were always still there on Prozac, and I believe they were totally hormonally related. 

The first time I took Climagest 1mg it was like a light was switched on and I knew I needed the HRT instead of ADs.  I feel I could have started HRT 5 years ago and saved myself a lot of sorrow.  Unfortunately my Blood pressure rose and my heart fluttered on Climagest so changed to oestradiol gel and bio identical progesterone.  It's thought as a safer route of HRT. 

My GP is not at all informed regarding HRT, and I learnt everything I needed to know from this website.  I now use the info to support my requests at the GPs.  I couldn't tolerate contraceptive pills as they would increase PMS feelings (esp mini pill).  I guess I'm suggesting you may find relief with a low dose HRT, especially if you are perimenopausal. Sometimes the benefits far outweigh the risks.

Good luck whatever you choose.
Steph (momlet) X

[CLKD]

slightly mad until you realise that you are not alone