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[Poppyflower]

Yes, the build up of progesterone turned me into a depressed, anxiety ridden mess. It is horrible and completely not like myself. This current experiment has taken a while to kick in and there are still a few glitches along the way for a day here and there. Also when those happen just like you I am terrified that it will not go away, but so far, touch wood, the mental glitches have only lasted a few hours here and there. I also get physical symptoms from the progesterone, but it is the mental that are so much worse. I also feel like I am a person who probably always had higher levels of estrogen and at times even though things have improved a lot it seems like I do not have enough. Hopefully the increase to the 100 patch will do the trick. I hate perimenopause 

[GypsyRoseLee]

Your post has given me such a lot to think about Poppyflower. Thank you so much. What you say makes such a lot of sense, particularly about needing several months of a loading dose of oestrogen to get your levels back up to a normal level before trying any progesterone.

I can only assume that my oestrogen levels had fallen quite low, hence much lighter, shorter periods and no more swollen, achy boobs every month?

But on my very first trial of HRT I was only given a 25mg patch. Plus I started HRT on day 12 of my cycle so I was told to put the patch on, then start the Utro just two days later! No wonder it didn't help and my symptoms were just as bad. After 5 weeks I was told to increase to 50mg but only noticed a very slight improvement over the next 3 months.

I just don't think my body had a chance to recover. Just too little oestrogen, being regularly opposed every month by 12 days of Utro.

I now intend staying on Mirtrazapine for next 2 weeks until I see my consultant. Then ask her if I can start to pre load with quite high oestrogen, but no Utro, over the next 3planths. Probably continue to take the Mirtrazapine until I have loaded with enough oestrogen, then maybe see how I feel?

Does this sound like a plan?

[dazned]

I think everyone of us is so different. My experiences of this still didn't help me unfortunately. I was on 3 months 1 mg estrogen only with 12 days utrogeston at end still didn't feel good and when I tried 2mg estrogen I was worse ! As I say what works for one etc if only one size fit all life would be so simple but there's no simple way of balancing individuals hormone needs be it bio identical or otherwise.

[CLKD]

Are you keeping a journal GRL?  Also a mood/food diary?

[Poppyflower]

GRL.....I think what you are doing is a great plan. Everyone has to do what they are comfortable with trying. Just like other posters have said we are all different, and will respond to things differently. I just wanted to let you know that my process was long and I felt quite a few times that it was not working as things would get better then worse and so on. It is a horrible,  horrible thing, but we must not give up and we have to try not to be afraid to keep trying different things. You WILL find something that works for you. Also, I too have considered a hysterectomy....and it is something I may eventually do as the thought of no fluctuations is so appealing with no progesterone needed. Your decisions have to be the best just for yourself and eventually everything will be good again. Be strong and know that we are here to support each other!

[CLKD]

Stick with what you know  until symptoms cause you to re-consider.

[Suzi Q]

It is 2 years today since I first saw my GP. Out of the blue, anxiety, depression and feelings of dread kept overwhelming me. I thought was having a breakdown!

Since then I have tried eating cleaner. Tried cutting out sugars. Paid a fortune to a private naturopath.. Tried HRT. Tried the BCP.

But still the waves and days of anxiety, dreads and depression kept coming back. I have faught it with everything I have. But I think trying to get rid of these symptoms using HRT/the BCP is a bit like trying to pin the tail on the donkey.

I am so very, very sick to death of battling all these dark days and never knowing how I am going to feel from one day to the next. Yes, I still have good days, even good weeks, but the fear of waiting for the anxiety/dread is always there.

I have lost 2 years of my life to these symptoms. I have had enough. I am not prepared to lose even another month to them. My mood improved a lot for 24 hours yesterday, but today I have felt dreadful again. Enough.

I saw my GP today and explained how I had been feeling these last 2 weeks. I explained that I just wanted it to stop. Please. I mentioned Mirtazapine to him because I know ladies on here who take it for hormonal anxiety and depression. He was fine with me trying it.

I have danced around taking ADs, but I really have had enough. I just want my symptoms to go away and stay away.

I see my consultant in 3 weeks and he suggested I discuss with her whether to include any hormonal therapy in my regime.

I have had a horrifically stressful 3 years and I think it has taken its toll. It's just bad timing that peri arrived at the same time.

So there you go. I took my first Mirtrazapine an hour ago and feel swimmy headed and drowsy (to be expected in first 7-10 days). But I don't care. Anything is better than how I have felt these last 2 weeks (and all the many 'bad' weeks over the last 2 years.

20 years after my last period at 40 I still get those feelings of utter dread
I was given along my Lexotan Beta Blocas they stop it dead i takes a few days but u wake up fear gone
U then take a few days weaning off them and it can be months before the dread comes back then u start again its worth asking xxxxxxxxx

[CLKD]