Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[SadLynda]

My first thought when I saw the title is were did you throw that towel and can I throw it too?  I am reading this through floods of tears again as I feel so awful and like you I am willing to try anything on my next appointment as I dont want to feel like this anymore.  I am so glad you have shared all you have with us, it has been so helpful and I truly hope you feel better soon.

Love to you too Charliegirl, I know how you are feeling x

[babyjane]

Hope everyone feeling yeuch finds helpful and sympathetic treatment.

I do sympathise as I am just starting to see a bit of the wood through all the trees since finally asking for help after realising I couldn't fix myself, silly moo!!

[ancient runner]

I don't think anyone on this thread has thrown in the towel - you've just all made decisions that will help you feel better and then have the capacity to make other good decisions.

[GypsyRoseLee]

It's truly awful isn't it sadlynda? How I have felt at times, over these last couple of years has shocked me. I never reised how truly low and dreadful I was capable of feeling.

Like everyone I have had difficult times in the past and genuinely thought I felt 'depressed'. But it was nothing like this. The only other time I have felt this dreadful is years ago when I had PND. So although, logically, I know it is my hormones causing misery this time too, that doesn't help me if hormone treatments can't 'cure' me.

The fact that only 3 weeks ago I was posting saying how great I felt on Gederal, so great that I felt 'cured' and didn't feel the need to come on here as much just shows how very, very up and down my hormones still are. Despite taking hormone treatment.

Despite having a 'good' day on Monday, by yesterday lunch I could feel all the dreadful anxiety rushing back and something in me just snapped, and I went to see my GP.

I do understand that my hormones are fluctuating and that I react to the fluctuations. Fine, okay. But trying to balance those fluctuations with hormone treatment is like trying to do a jigsaw blindfolded.

I know that taking ADs isn't going to 'cure' the cause of my symptoms. But ADs should at least stop me suffering the symptoms for the time being. And that's all I want right now.. Yesterday I had to pretend to have a headache because I felt too low and anxious to even share the same room as my own children! That is just totally awful and totally wrong. No one should have to feel like that.

Very early menopause has happened to all my closest female relatives (all were in early 40s). So all I can do is hope that I am post menopause in the next year or two, then it will be easier to balance my moods with hormone treatment maybe.

But for the next few months I will happily settle for just not feeling as dreadful as I did over the weekend and yesterday.

Are you currently taking an AD?

[SadLynda]

GRL, I totally understand how you are feeling.  I cant face anyone either at the moment.

Not on AD's or anything else yet but have appointment next week and will have just about anything she will give me to stop this.

I think the worst thing is how totally alone I feel with this feeling (aside from with a few others on here of course) 

[GypsyRoseLee]

Everything just seems too overwhelming doesn't it? Even really simple stuff like booking a hair appointment, or putting together a simple meal.

On my 'good' days and weeks I don't think twice about such things, and infact enjoy them. But on my 'bad' days I just can't bear the thought of 'having' to do anything.

How long have you felt like this sadlynda? Do you have other peri menopausal symptoms too?

[Angel45]

Huge hugs to all who needs one

I have started 2 weeks ago to take low dose ad I think it is helping I have seemed to cope a little better with everyday life, it is so hard when you can't explain how you feel and how frightening it is to people who don't understand because they are not experiencing it or to people who just don't care, thankfully lots of posts on here give me reassurance.

X

[Babsm67]

I echo Angel45's comments about hugs to everyone who needs one.  GRL - I understand exactly what you mean about simple things being overwhelming;  some days it feels like trying to walk through treacle.  I arrived home from work this afternoon & couldn't bring myself to do anything for over an hour.  In the end, I walked the dog - because I HAD to but didn't enjoy it like I used to.  It is as if everything is a major effort & I know that I need to make myself go swimming,  look into how I can train for a new job, write out Christmas cards etc.. but on bad days, I just cannot bring myself to do it. Once again,  everyone xxx

[CLKD]

When depressed I crawled out of bed, down the stairs and laid on the floor whilst my dog went into the garden.  No energy to raise my head from the pillow.  I thought I would never be well again but after a few false starts, my GP found an AD which helped.  It isn't a cure but has enabled me.  Add a betablocka at night and when necessary an emergency pill when anxiety floors me …….. <wave>

Take a half day at a time.  Don't look too far ahead  .  If you need to sleep; sleep.  If you need to have a deep bubble bath ……..

[SadLynda]

Everything just seems too overwhelming doesn't it? Even really simple stuff like booking a hair appointment, or putting together a simple meal.

On my 'good' days and weeks I don't think twice about such things, and infact enjoy them. But on my 'bad' days I just can't bear the thought of 'having' to do anything.

How long have you felt like this sadlynda? Do you have other peri menopausal symptoms too?

Yes, get that too.  I have had this for over 3 years off and on, just thought I was going nuts.  Never cried so much in my life, sure I am just going to disappear into a pool of tears soon.  Thank you to those offering such great help and advice, and  to fellow sufferers.

[CLKD]

I agree, however, when first told I need to take a maintenance dose AD for Life I fought against it.  Until I realised that by taking it regularly DH and I have a Life again.  If you were diabetic or reliant on other life-saving medication  ……. give it
6-8 months and see how you feel!

[Poppyflower]

This is going to be a bit long but here goes GRL.......don't shoot the messenger as what I am about to suggest is not going to sit well with everyone on here. I have mentioned when posting with you in the past regarding my own experiences with birth control and trying several different formulations with all different types of progesterones. I believe that I fall into the same group as you and are very similar with all of our experiences. I too have been thrown for a loop with sudden onset mental disturbances with no past history of any of it. Any how......just wanted to let yo know what I find seems to have finally kicked in for me and that is only taking estrogen. I started off at 50 mcg estradot and then to 75 mcg estradot and have recently increased to 100mcg estradot. I have not taken any form of progesterone. I have been followed by a gynaecologist every 3 months. We had decided together to allow my body to slowly build up estrogen levels through my patches with the eventuality of adding in Prometrium. It was rough at the beginning and only tolerated the 50 mcg patch for 6 weeks before having increased to 75. After I increased to 75 about two weeks later I felt that it was not working and went to see my family doctor and decided to also try citalopram. I did not end up starting it as my mood had an upswing. Then about 12 weeks on 75 mcg patch everything seemed to sort of click in with only a few glitches here and there. I have now been on 75 for a total of 17 weeks and on Saturday will increase to 100 mcg. My gynaecologist informed me that on the 100 mcg patch it would be close to mimicking the amounts your body would normally make at our age. She suggested the use of the 100 patch for three months and then to start using the prometrium for 7 days each month 100 mg vaginally. Was told that my body should have built up a good amount and that due to the vaginal use of prometrium 100 mg is more than enough to properly shed the lining. I know that we do things a bit differently in Canada, but have you considered something similar? I really think that like me you are just not going to tolerate any form of progesterone once it starts building up in your system. I suppose to some it would seem like quite a long time on unopposed estrogen, but through it all I have always had a bleed every 21 to 30 days without using any progesterone. The lining is still being shed, although might not be quite enough. After three months of the 100 mcg I will be having a check to see how thick lining is. I really think we almost really just need like a loading dose of estrogen to almost sort of heel our bodies and then start introducing it to a cycle to normalize everything. I only wish you good luck with everything and hope you have success with your current treatment.

[GypsyRoseLee]

I certainly won't shoot you Poppyflower, what you say makes a lot of sense to me.

I think I'm a woman who just needs a lot of oestrogen, and has always produced lots of her own. Always been very fertile and got pregnant within minutes of trying etc. Always suffered a lot with PMS and then PND, so obviously very sensitive to hormonal changes.

Even back when I was on separate HRT and Utrogestan, the last cycle when I didn't bother with Utrogestan I still had a decent withdrawal bleed.

I see my consultant in 2 weeks so it's something I will discuss with her.

[GypsyRoseLee]

Forgot to ask Poppyflower, did the build up of progesterone for you cause anxiety and very low mood? I didn't react physically too much to the progesterone except for a few headaches. Although going into my second pack of Gederal I did get a strange itchy rash, mainly around my throat and shoulders but a few itchy patches on legs and arms too. So not sure if that was caused by a build up of progesterone?

[SadLynda]

Thanks for sharing your experience Poppyflower - that is very helpful