Hi Kittyjay
Had you actually reached menopause at 41 ie last period 12 months previously, or were you peri-menopausal? This makes a difference in relation to the variation in bleeds. HRT does not control your cycle which still carries on in the background to some extent and ovulation can takes place. If you are still peri-menopausal then some of the bleeding will be due to your own hormones/oestrogen as well - and you will have been producing your own progesterone if you ovulated. If you have been having regular good bleeds on the 75 mcg patch with 12 days 200 mg utrogestan per month vaginally - then this shows it works well for you. If you are peri then your own cycle may have weakened.
If you are well post-menopausal then I can't explain it!
That amount of utrog used vaginally is quite high ( although there isn't a defined oestrogen dose to correspond with vag utro dose) - so maybe this month you didn't have much of your own oestrogen and the utro dealt with the HRT oestrogen very effectively. As a different example to Dana, I use the same amount of vag utro on a 2 monthly cycle ( ie 12 days of utro on the first of every alternate month) and I use a 50 mcg Estradot patch. This gives me a good bleed and I am early 60's
Re the long cycle - personally I wouldn't go straight to a 3 month cycle on that level of oestrogen - because you could end up with breakthrough bleeding in between. Some gynaes are not that keen on 3 month cycles for this reason and increased risk of hyperplasia too. Is it just the GP suggesting this or have you been to a specialist gynae/meno clinic? If it were me I would gradually increase - first to 6 weeks for a couple of cycles or so, and then to 8 etc and see what happens to your bleeds.
Dana's quote rightly points out the dangers of using progesterone cream for endometrial protection - in Australia they don't have micronised progesterone as we do herein UK, and in Oz women are forced to use creams or buy from the internet if they want to use progesterone. However this does not apply to the UK, Europe or US where micronised progesterone is licensed for use. In UK it is licensed for HRT orally only, but for fertility it is licensed for vaginal use - since it goes directly to the uterus. In France it is licensed for vaginal use for HRT and there is scientific literature bearing out its effectiveness. Many gynaes in UK prescribe it this way because it is actually a more effective way of getting progesterone to the uterus, since orally much is lost to digestion.
I agree with Dana though, that once you increase your cycle length - especially if you went straight to 3 months - I would have regular scans (whatever progestogen you are using) and your doc should only be prescribing a long cycle if s/he is prepared to monitor your uterus lining for you. Since you are having an early menopause they should permit this - since you have to take oestrogen for much longer than the rest of us!
Hope this helps

Hurdity x