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[ElaineI]

Hi Everyone,

This is my first post so sorry if it is long. I am now 59. When I was 39 I began having hot flushes then my periods stopped. Blow tests showed peri-menopause/menopause. I was relieved and thought fine no more periods whilst older friends had heavy and irregular bleeding. My GP started me on HRT for bone/heart protection which I had for 10 years. Then it was proved not to be much use so stopped taking it. I had no other symptoms. Over last 10 years have had vaginal dryness and have vagifem which helps and a drop in libido.
Over the last few weeks I have been feeling very low self worth and things making me tearful which didn't bother me before. For instance - hubby retired 2 years ago but I still work 25 hours a week. He now makes meals most nights and hoovers etc. Most people think I am lucky that he does this and I do agree (usually I choose the meals and instruct him but he likes looking up recipes) but I feel that I now do not have a role in life as he rushes round doing everything. We look after our grandson on my day off which I love doing so much (he is almost 2) but hubby gets to look after him if child care is required when I am at work and I resent it and it is making me feel very upset and like there is no point in me being there. Wednesdays are our days for looking after him but my daughter is on holiday this week and the other grandparents decided they would see them today (they are both retired) so I have felt upset all day and hatred towards them. I feel like hurting myself as I am so useless. This is completely irrational I know! I don't know what to do - whether to see my GP or soldier on. Hubby doesn't believe in depression/mental health problems as you didn't talk about thesis things in his family. My younger daughter suffers depression and it is difficult to talk to him about things like that. Maybe she takes after me and it is my fault she has struggled!
So does anyone think I should see my GP or try homeopathic remedies or battle on? Could this be the menopause symptoms starting now? My mother had a hysterectomy aged 29 so has no idea when she would have had the menopause. Thanks for any advice. E x

[SadLynda]

Hi Elaine 
sounds like what many of us have gone through (or still are) in the perimenopause.  I would certainly pay your GP a visit, I went on for 12 months like that and what started off as anxieties became huge paranoid demons in my head - its taken me a long time to sort out.

meanwhile give yourself a break, I am sure your daughter see's you both as a unit not one or the other parent.

You 'can' see a homeopath alongside the GP, so if that makes you feel better go ahead and do that too.  You will learn here we have become an age were it is very important to take care of ourselves, be sure to give yourself permission to do so.

[ElaineI]

Hi Lynda,
Thank you. I think you are right and I know my daughter sees us as a unit. I can see I am irrational and would never say anything but I think I am having menopausal symptoms now. I am going to book an appointment with my GP soon.

[CLKD]

  ….. browse the pull-down menus top of screen.  Make notes.  Ask, ask, ask 

There is a web-site for early menopause too, I think details are on here - so read through, make notes.

Jealousy can erode relationships.  Are you more upset that your DH is retired, so has time to do exactly what he wants whereas you remain tied to the getting up, going to work, missing out?  Have a think as to why you continue working  - is it necessary for example?

Depression is an illness.  Give DH a    .  Many people 'don't believe' because they are afraid of mental illness.  How is your daughter supported? 

Don't be fobbed off with anti-depressants without good reason.  Many GPs push them because ladies present in the Surgery crying which may well be hormonally triggered rather than depression per se.  Keeping a mood/period/food diary can be useful too!

[Taz2]

 

Taz x