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[Sarai]

I just have to vent, I am feeling so sorry for myself.
Today my youngest DD moves into here new Uni and I'm not going. In fact they have all gone now.
My anxiety is crazy right now as is my sensitivity to any noise which in turn makes my Tinnitus worse. I have no idea whether this whole horrid new tinnitus hyperacusis saga is based on my anxiety and depression, which in turn was started by the meno.
Whichever I am a shadow of my former self, a quivering wreck. This time last year I took her to Uni and relished it, I was completely normal, no issues with anxiety or noise , nothing.
Shes changed Unis now and is further away and I have let her down and me down, if it wasn't for the sound thing I could probably have coped with the anxiety but oh how far I have fallen. I simply cannot see a way out of the hole I am in. Please don't mention HRT, I dare not add anything new to my fragile body right now.
There vent over.

[dazned]

 
Sorry to hear you're feeling so s..t,  No solutions but do empathise with how you are feeling.

[Kathleen]

Hello Sarai.

I am so sorry to read how you are feeling but I completely understand. Like you I did the whole uni thing with both my children but as the menopausal anxiety hit there were visits and occasions I missed because I just couldn't cope. I can tell you from experience that your daughter will not feel that you have let her down, she is a young woman starting a new adventure and the excitement of that will carry her along. Neither of my children blamed me for the things I missed, they understood that I wasn't feeling well and accepted it.

I also know what it's like to feel sorry for yourself, this whole hormonal upheaval is horrible and you are not alone in hating what it is doing to you.

I wish you well Sarai and keep venting if it helps!

Take care.

K.

[honeybun]

I agree with the others. Your daughter will have understood and its probably the best thing to have stayed at home. There have been things I couldn't do with my daughter that I really wanted and have beaten myself up over them. She has assured me it has made absolutely no difference and that she understands.
When I go on about what I can't do she reminds me of what I can.
I never took her to halls a few years ago....her brother did and she told me later how much she had been dreading the goodbyes to me so it worked out for the best.

As for your tinnitus, mine goes into overdrive when I am stressed.

Be kind to you......this will pass and things do get better.


Honeyb
x

[CLKD]

Also: if you daughter has worries in future she knows that a) she isn't alone because you suffer and b) she will be more likely to share with you!

Because your anxiety is 'in your face' you feel guilt and that you have let people down: however, this isn't true! because 'they' will be getting on with the day. 

No doubt the rest of the family have been, deposited DD and are back?

[Blueskye]

I do not have children so have no idea how you are feeling.   The be kind to you comment I think is so important.   I have been taking naps, walking a lot more, grabbing sunshine and even doing housework  :-\which has also been mentioned.  I truly hope you start to feel a bit better about things soon.

[Zaza]

I really feel for you and completely understand how your tinnitus is so debilitating.
I don't know if my info will help but my mum had tinnitus and then Ménière's disease which I  have inherited. I have now hearing loss and use a hearing aid in one ear, although so far the loss is minor.
I saw the ENT consultant last week and he gave me Betahistamine Dihydrachloride 8mg 3 times a day. I not started it as trying to control my hrt first.
My point is that you perhaps need a review with a specialist, and my advice would be to watch your salt intake as for some reason effects the ears. There is even salt in spring water, just read labels. Give it a try and get yourself a hypnotheray relaxation cd and practice dyaphramatic breathing.
Thinking of you X

[Kimberley666]

So sorry for you I took my daughter to uni two weeks ago and it was hard I still miss her terribly I say go ahead and cry you need to let all that emotion out I hope you feel better soon

[warwick01]

Hi Saria,

I know exactly how your feeling

Please don't be too hard on yourself, try telling yourself this is only a phase due to hormones and it will pass. Unfortunately I have learned we have no control with this anxiety.

July last year I was feeling fab. All changed from September with feeling of vertigo off balance ect (which cost me my job) still suffering with panic and anxiety) I feel so guilty on my DH as I avoid going anywhere at the moment.

I have just changed my HRT in the hope things will improve 

Wx

[peegeetip]

Hi Sarai

the tinnitus can affect us due to the changes to our bones.

The ears are made up of 3 bones and unfortunately those are not unaffected by the lack of estrogen either.

"Please don't mention HRT, I dare not add anything new to my fragile body right now."

Sorry you feel like that.
Your bones will become more fragile the longer your estrogen is reducing so not really sure where your coming from on this comment.

I know from my own experience that often we close doors before we realise whats behind them.
Sometimes we've got to look at things from another perspective to see what might help us.

I hope your DD enjoy's Uni and that you can take some joy in her new journey in life.

All the best

 

[GypsyRoseLee]

Hi Sarai

You sound like you're really going through the mill at the moment.

You say you can't bear the thought of HRT at the moment, and I do understand how that feels. Back when my peri menopause started I battled awful anxiety and extreme mood swings. I thought I was having a nervous breakdown.

My GP interpreted my symptoms as extreme PMS and suggested I go back on the Pill. I hated the very thought and was really scared of the health risks because I was over 40. So I refused it outright.

God I wish I had listened to that GP. I spent the next 18 months in Hell and my poor family suffered with me. I dabbled with vitamins, saw a herbalist, tried ADs for 6 months and then spent 4 months on HRT.

None of it helped. I was falling further and further down an endless black hole.

I finally went on the BCP 2 months ago. If you can take a few minutes to read My Pill Diary on here you'll see what a massive transformation it has been for me. It has given me my life back. It has given 'me' back to myself. Given my husband his wife back and my children their Mum back.

Please think again about trying hormonal help.

[Babsm67]

Hello Sarai,  Having just read GRL's comments,  I think she is right - please see about having HRT.  I have just asked to be referred again to the gynaecologist GP that I saw last summer because I have had enough of this. The severe mood swings, bladder problems & insomnia (as well as other symptoms) are simply too much to cope with now on top of looking after my 20 year old autistic son & it is causing friction between my DH & myself.  I am going to ask about the BCP as well, having read GRL's 'My Pill Diary' as I just want the 'old me' back.  Don't suffer any more - p!ease, at least, try HRT as anything has to be better than going through all that suffering.    x

[peegeetip]

Hi Gypsy and Bloss,

I think Sarai has posted before on not being allowed HRT.

However the whole view on HRT has changed.

The main rule to remember is that as long as another condition is treated and undercontrol, then taking HRT is no problem at all.

The choice is down to a personal one too. If your quality of life has gone so low, then its better to have it and improve it.

I'd posted earlier about the BCP and pointed out the beauty of the solution is that its FREE

You can also goto get it from any Family Planning Clinic's if they still have them in your area of the UK.

So you can bypass the Doc and their silly and old views on HRT and its benefits.

So Glad that Gypsy is having such a change since moving back to BCP 

I read recently that most of us could avoid the peri madness if we'd ignored the docs and stuck to BCP till we needed to move to HRT. There are other health benefits long term to being on BCP that they don't tell you about too.

Hope things can improve and you can start to get back to a normal life.

 

[LizeeeH]

Just sending you loads of HUGGGGGSSSSS

[GypsyRoseLee]

Hi Peegeetip.

My GP tells me he has several women in their late 40s and early 50s still taking the Pill with no problems at all. Then at 55 they can decide to segue into HRT with barely a flicker.

I wish, wish, wish I had known more about the benefits of BCP when I went into peri menopause. It would have saved a lot of time, cost and heartache.

I wonder if Dr Currie might consider giving the BCP a mention in the menu for peri treatments?