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[Cthrnstowe]

Hi ladies
Can anyone give me advice, my husband just doesn't understand, at the moment I'm sat here and feel like hitting him, he's constantly asking me what is wrong, I've tried to explain but he doesn't seem to get it, he's just said I'm different, I'm having a bit of a crap day, I'm shattered every bone in my body is aching xx

[Dancinggirl]

Hi and welcome Cthrnstowe
There is a wonderful thread for husbands on the forum if you can get your husband to read it:
http://www.menopausematters.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,2458.0.html

Many women have found it really helpful.  It's difficult time fro them as well as us so thte more they know the better they understand.

Are you getting any treatment for the your meno symptoms?  DG x

[Cthrnstowe]

No I'm not getting any treatment, he does read up on it on the Internet, but he just doesn't seem to understand it, I'm only just getting my head around it myself, I've told him I'm on this forum, he just says it's all in the mind xx

[Dancinggirl]

Oh dear - you do have a battle on your hands.  What symptoms are you getting and have considered HRT?
Can you persuade him to go to the doctors with you if you go to ask for help with symptoms? Maybe ask to be referred to a menopause clinic?
If he really isn't understanding then you will have to get some help on your own - we are here to support you so keep posting.  DG x

[Joyce]

My hubby doesn't understand it either, but he accepts that this is something which we need to go through. Only thing mine doesn't really understand is the anxiety & can't figure out why I'm suffering with it, but never has he said it's all in my mind. I'd give him a tongue lashing if he did. 

[Cthrnstowe]

Hi dancinggirl
I'm getting hot flushes, aching joints, no interest in anything,anxiety,can't make decisions, negative thoughts, tired all the time, he thinks all my problems are because I'm 3 stone overweight xx

[SadLynda]

my husband seems to understand better now I told him about everyone here, and after my visit to the nurse.  i had to laugh last night as I said to him 'do you know what husbands can do to help women in meno' he said 'no, please tell me' so I said 'we just need a hug' he said, 'well, how are we meant to know its just that easy?'... I thought this was bloomin' obvious fgs.

It does sound like you could do with trying to get him to read the 'husband' bit or as one of the other ladies here did take him to the docs with you.

You have the symptoms I do, please dont try to put up with them any longer, you deserve better

[Mary G]

Cthrnstowe, sorry you are having a difficult time.  You don't have to put up with these symptoms, HRT is an option that would get rid of most if not all of them.  How about trying to get an appointment with a menopause clinic?  It has to be worth a try and you could take your husband with you to help him understand. 

It makes me angry that so many women are putting up with life ruining symptoms and help seems difficult to find.  It seems to be very hit and miss as to whether your doctor is willing or able to help and quite often the only option to go to a private clinic and this could also be an option for you if all else fails.  I went to Professor Studd in London and he sorted me out with the right medication.  It will cost you about £300 but if it changes your life, it's worth it.  Please give it some consideration. 

Hope that helps.

[Cthrnstowe]

I've just had a read of the thread for husbands, I've got 21 of the symptoms, I didn't even realise they are connected, when I mentioned it to my doctor she doesn't really like prescribing hrt, she said a lot of the problems are just connected with age and people just connect it with the menopause xx

[CLKD]

Change your GP?  is there a difference with 'age' and 'menopause' ……..

As for your husband well he won't understand because he can't empathise.  Give him a list as to the dos and don'ts of what to do/say  or 

Ladies don't recognised that symptoms can all be tied into hormone alterations so GPs haven't a hope unless they are clued up but why don't they LISTEN 

Off my Soap Box for a while 

[Grumpymum]

My husband doesn't understand either, just moans at me when I haven't achieved anything (which is quite frequently!). In fact, he even moans at me for going on the MM website too frequently. He doesn't seem to understand that it helps to seek advice/solace from others experiencing the same problems/symptoms. If I complain a massive argument ensues or I burst into tears. And that's with me on HRT!

[Cthrnstowe]

I was getting moaned at last night for being on the mm website, he said I've become obsessed with it, I said but it's helping me understand more, it really doesn't help when men are like that xx

[dazned]

Oooh if DH said that to me       

[CLKD]

My DH wouldn't even consider being critical.  We have 2 computers anyway    but if he even began to tell me  . It is absolutely nothing to do with him who I 'speak' with on here ……...