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[Mich12]

Hi all,

Well my husband and I have been fighting A LOT but esp. this past week as I have PMS and am about to have my period and I have not have a period in 8 months. So it has been a while since the PMS has hit me. I guess I am crabby but crazy?  I think not! I know menopause makes us emotional and all but crazy is such a harsh word. My husband said one minute I am one way and twenty minutes later I am another way and he said he researched menopause and he thinks it is from that and he will stick with me through it. He said I act crazy and change on and off all day - mood wise.

I must admit I am taken aback and hurt. I feel he insulted me and I am sad.

How do your husbands deal with this? Has anyone else's husband told them they were crazy?

[SadLynda]

My husband calls me and my daughter nutters, my daughter is pregnant and very hormonal.

Its up to me to sort myself out though, and with the help of all the lovely ladies here I am determined to do that.  So many ladies (myself included) think we are crazy/unhinged/mental/nuts... I can go on... but we are NOT we are just trying to cope with our hormones.

I am no longer hurt by the husbands 'comments' as I intend to come back from this stronger than before (or at least I do most days ).  So, try hard not to be hurt and sad for too long, but dig deep and find that determination we all have, and with the help of the forum you will get through this

[babyjane]

why are you sad and hurt when he says this

 he said he researched menopause and he thinks it is from that and he will stick with me through it.

might you be over reacting a bit due to the hormonal turmoil you are in 

[Mich12]

My husband calls me and my daughter nutters, my daughter is pregnant and very hormonal.

Its up to me to sort myself out though, and with the help of all the lovely ladies here I am determined to do that.  So many ladies (myself included) think we are crazy/unhinged/mental/nuts... I can go on... but we are NOT we are just trying to cope with our hormones.

I am no longer hurt by the husbands 'comments' as I intend to come back from this stronger than before (or at least I do most days ).  So, try hard not to be hurt and sad for too long, but dig deep and find that determination we all have, and with the help of the forum you will get through this

awww bless your heart thank you SO MUCH! Your reply truly lifted my spirits! I will fight hard through this and come here often. This board has been a true blessing for me, I am so happy I found it and all of you lovely ladies. ♥

[Mich12]

why are you sad and hurt when he says this

 he said he researched menopause and he thinks it is from that and he will stick with me through it.

might you be over reacting a bit due to the hormonal turmoil you are in 

Yes I might be. I am happy he researched it and grateful he took the time to do so but just sad he called me 'crazy'. I wouldn't have minded 'hormonal' or 'emotional' perhaps, but crazy just threw me off and made me sad. Ahhh yes I am sure it is from my hormones though. Ugg to this meno stuff. 

(((thank you))) ♥

[honeybun]

Have you printed out the advice for husbands that is on the forum. It might just help them to understand the changes and challenges we face.

I know I'm very over sensitive and take things far too much to heart. I had convinced myself a few weeks ago that my hubby did not really love me anymore. Well it was me and not him and he has just appeared in from the garden with a huge bunch of sweet peas and a kiss for me. Don't think that's the actions of a man who doesn't care.

I have to say if he called me mad I would have my answer ready.......along the lines of, well your unkind and thoughtless but at least I will get better.

Try not to take things too much to heart....I do know this is very hard.

Honeybun
X

[Limpy]

How do your husbands deal with this? Has anyone else's husband told them they were crazy?

Mich - Yes.

They just don't fully understand what is going on.
They may understand  the "theory" that menopause makes us behave differently, but that doesn't stop then feeling upset and hurt when when we behave very differently towards them.

You at least know that you are menopausal, I didn't know which made things very difficult till I/we knew what was going on.

[babyjane]

I am sure he loves you very much and the term 'crazy' was not meant to be hurtful and doesn't mean he thinks you have lost the plot.  Tell him how you feel, he would probably be upset to think his comment made you feel this way.  Tell him or he won't know and it might happen again then you might resent him for it.

It takes a while for them to adjust to the change in us.  Mine knows to keep quiet and not respond if I go out of control because he also knows that just as quickly I will be all right again and normal service will resume.

[CLKD]

Might you be over-reacting?  HORMONES   

I have had various problems since we marred in 1975 and DH has been there by my side, he once told me that he was 'born to care for you' [me].   

Your husband has opened up the door for you to have frank discussions.  Have a buzz word that he can throw in your direction as he ducks when PMT hits ……..  .  Even when they understand the can't feel what we go through so they need some slack too.