Hi Madbloss,
I sympathise!! You are not going mad - this is real. Its awful I cant tell you how reading your post made me feel like crying as it was like hearing my life journey all over again. I couldnt take the pill it affected me hormonally , SSRI's dont suit me either. I also had depression after my two children .I seem to do better on natural remedies. PMS was sorted out with Agnus Castus at the age of 40 and other herbal treatments. St Johns wort is good too.
I too have not been working, I was laid off in May it was a self employed part time position which I loved. Its weird as since then my periods have gone awall , extremely painful, erratic , PMS , bloated to the extent I cannot wear anything of mine and have to wear baggy clothes. My bras do not do up because they are so swollen and sore and I am so absent minded . my short term memory is really very poor at the moment. I cant make decisions , I feel nervy and jittery and also have had emotional breakdowns
in front of my daughter , poor girl shes doing a degree , is dyslexic and struggling with elements of her course which needs my support. Her father is rubbish at any challenges - he couldnt cope with me in the marriage when I had depression, endometriosis and severe PMS. Our relationship broke down and we divorced. The thought of going for interviews fills me with sheer horror . I am having severe hot flashes and my face goes so red I look as though I have sun burn. everyone looks at me as its so bright red. this is causing me further anxiety. My joints are so stiff I cannot walk properly - I feel like an old frail lady at times. I tried the herbal route with another herbalist thinking it would help with the PMS and pain but now I
have progressed to additional symptoms and was having to switch this and that and try this and that and I decided to come off it all and see how I go by introducing supplements so have turned to taking Molkosan each morning - its a PREbiotic not Probiotic
my bloated stomach is so much better. I have started taking Magnesium (was also getting dreadful night cramps, waking up yelling in agony a few times a week) these are improving and just this week started on St Johns Wort - also feeling a slight shift there on the moods. My body doesnt like medication and seems to respond better to natural things. Do you think you may also be similar?
I have no idea what I am going to do ref work. I had an idea to go back and start another business - which is still a calling for me but I want to feel better than I do. I need to bring in the money as I am living off my savings and its running away rapidly. I lay awake at night fretting about the future and wondering if I can cope and survive this journey. I have a partner who doesn't live with me so its quite hard .
I joined the local David Lloyd gym for 3 months and its been a tonic. I felt so conspicuous walking out there in a swimsuit with my red anxiety face but I pushed myself and so glad I did . The swimming is wonderful and every one is so friendly. I would encourage swimming to everyone for therapeutic reasons alone.
I am going to see my Gp on Monday to see if I can get some emotional support - maybe some CBT, I have heard its quite good in these situations.
My two close friends are not ones to talk to on this as they are very different in their way of thinking to me so its great to come on this forum and just spill
Your not alone and not mad - just a woman!
Take each day at a time and stay in touch x
