Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[getting_old]

I'm not taking anything currently, and would prefer not to as I've had a couple of bad reactions to prescribed pills in the past, but I would take something if the need arose. The reason for visiting MM was to educate myself so I have a proper understanding of the options available and can have a good discussion with my GP if required. It's also because things are changing and I don't have any close female friends or relatives that I can talk to.
I suffered really painful periods for many years, and tried to hide what I was going through / put on a brave face, so I would never think of someone as weak for suffering from meno symptoms or taking medications to help with them.
Since joining the forum I have nothing but the utmost respect for the people on here who are navigating the meno minefield whilst trying to work, look after families, etc. and sharing their knowledge with the rest of us.

[Gill Mojo]

Thank you all for sharing your thoughts; makes for interesting reading. Now you can all remember this thread in the future when I come haring in here with an onslaught of symptoms, screaming for drugs

I have to agree with what others have said - this is not about passing judgement on people for taking or not taking medications, but about discovering how people cope and learning from the shared experiences. Having a thread about going through the process without meds (or with the bare minimum) is probably a useful one to have, especially for newbies, like me, who might find the sheer variety of available treatments bewildering, and get the impression that everyone takes them and there is no other way. I am now clear that that is not the case, that the options are boundless and most importantly, that it is vital to tailor whatever you do to what suits you; if that means no meds so be it

[babyjane]

'As one of our newer members said, to be told that someone uses HRT to protect against X Y and Z is as good as saying if you don't use it then this will happen to you. Very scary for a new and unsure member.'

^ this

not just for a new and unsure member as I have been swayed a couple of times by very strongly worded posts advocating HRT.  Anyway I am glad to see this thread has remained calm, balanced and helpful without being turned into a pro HRT debate. 

[libby1]

I'm not taking anything apart from sage. I don't like taking anything unless I really have to, if the day comes that my symptoms are truly awful, I will consider hrt. But only as a last resort,

Libby
x

[babyjane]

I always said that libby, if my quality of life started to be affected and I could not control it I would consider it but it never did so I didn't, if you know what I mean.

[GypsyRoseLee]

I think people obviously have very different tolerance thresholds. When it comes to physical pain I think I am quite stoic and dislike making a fuss or being fussed over.

But when it comes to psychological pain it's much harder to quantify. I often see people on here mention their troublesome mood swings but from what they go one to describe they sound quite 'normal' to me. They go from feeling quite balanced and cheerful to suddenly feeling tearful at watching something cute on TV. Or they might feel fed and frustrated by their physical meno symptoms.

I feel these are 'normal' mood swings. But mine are so much more extreme than that. Literally go from feeling on top of the world to watching a bus drive past and thinking 'I could just step under that bus and all this despair will stop.'

Because despair is what I feel. Not fed up or 'a but down'. Real, awful hopeless despair that can last 10 days at a time. I would genuinely take anything, anything at all, even if I knew it was high risk or life limiting if it would take away that feeling of despair I get.

I now completely understand why some people commit suicide. They have have spent too long in that state of despair. At least I am lucky and once my hormones tecalibrate my mood rises again and I feel normal again within a few hours.

[CLKD]

I've had despair.  Black.  Deep.  Couldn't see a way out: and was deeply frightened, it was a prehensile fear.  Relieved by medication fortunately.  Hoping each day will be an improvement but finding each morning the same 

Fortunately these types of Forums give lots of suggestions, advice, experiences shared …….. and one doesn't have to take anything for ever once symptoms improve.  It is important to accept that maybe for a while 1 has to take medication - for what ever reason - to enable us to cope.  I fought against taking ADs and lost several years.

Keep asking the questions!  Keep sharing!  Tell us what has worked and for how long; it's about finding a balance which helps the individual! 

[Gill Mojo]

As I have bi-polar and depression, I know all about suicidal despair. The problem, I repeat what I have said elsewhere, is differentiating between my normal cycles of misery and elation that come from the bp/depression and the same symptoms which may or may not be being caused by meno stuff. It's difficult and I am sure I can't be the only one who has had a life of depression and mental issues who has now got the extra confusion of menopause on top of it, but I can't say I have seen much about it yet.

[CLKD]

Do the symptoms feel the same? follow similar patterns that you have had for years? I recognise my clinical depression as it can make the organic depression feel 'worse' …….. and is related to what is happening around me 

I haven't noticed those feelings 'worse' since my periods began to fluctuate and eventually stop.  Fortunately! I think that my medication had stabilised me enough before peri-meno began ………….

I wonder if asking the same question on a depression group would give you answers; then let us know  .  I was part of a US-based privately owned rather than medic-led depression forum in the 1980s/90s ……… I am sure that since then there will be more recently formed groups? 

[Tigs]

Absolutely, Babyjane. Reading this site has put my mind at ease several times, and I expect it will do so again and again. Fabulous, supportive forum.

hi Gill
Mu meno struck me severly after crashing my bike then some idiot driving into me from a t junction. not seriously hurt but supercharged my meno cos of the stress also a difficult teenagers to look after.  That was Nov 14 - suffering mood swings, anxiety, loneliness, isolation.  Sought a nat healer worked to a point but now feel let down as cannot afford keeping him.   What i did go on to 90percent stop hot flushes were nutrition fx which are nat tablets, green tea, herbs etc. they really helped but for the depression suffering since last nov 14, i have decided to go on AD for the mood swings and everything else i said above.  My second opinion doctor was very helpful, AD which i have just started are the family of SSRi which deal with the menopause.  But one thing i do know, since i have been off work with a bad back, my depression worsened, not helping my husband working away mon to fri for the last year, my physio suggested get on that bike every day which i did, and i feel so much better today, in fact i feel myself for the first time since last november.  I will continue to cycle everyday to get the endorphines going.  I will let you know how the ADs go.  Tigs.

[Tigs]

Absolutely, Babyjane. Reading this site has put my mind at ease several times, and I expect it will do so again and again. Fabulous, supportive forum.

hi Gill
Mu meno struck me severly after crashing my bike then some idiot driving into me from a t junction. not seriously hurt but supercharged my meno cos of the stress also a difficult teenagers to look after.  That was Nov 14 - suffering mood swings, anxiety, loneliness, isolation.  Sought a nat healer worked to a point but now feel let down as cannot afford keeping him.   What i did go on to 90percent stop hot flushes were nutrition fx which are nat tablets, green tea, herbs etc. they really helped but for the depression suffering since last nov 14, i have decided to go on AD for the mood swings and everything else i said above.  My second opinion doctor was very helpful, AD which i have just started are the family of SSRi which deal with the menopause.  But one thing i do know, since i have been off work with a bad back, my depression worsened, not helping my husband working away mon to fri for the last year, my physio suggested get on that bike every day which i did, and i feel so much better today, in fact i feel myself for the first time since last november.  I will continue to cycle everyday to get the endorphines going.  I will let you know how the ADs go.  Tigs.

[Briony]

'As one of our newer members said, to be told that someone uses HRT to protect against X Y and Z is as good as saying if you don't use it then this will happen to you. Very scary for a new and unsure member.'

^ this

not just for a new and unsure member as I have been swayed a couple of times by very strongly worded posts advocating HRT.  Anyway I am glad to see this thread has remained calm, balanced and helpful without being turned into a pro HRT debate. 

You're right. I think this thread has also shown me there's a third camp - the 'I take HRT even though I am not totally comfortable about it and never thought I would, but my quality of life was so badly affected that I had no option'. I think, if I am honest, that's where I fall. As a result, looking back, I think I can get defensive when I worry people are implying that I have somehow given in or been weak. When you get to the point you can't walk without crutches,  or wear normal under wear (fluid retention) or feel your feet (numbness/tingling) or think straight/work competently through brain fog, you really have no choice. You have no pleasure in life and no hope. Yet, even now, a part of me feels like I have 'given in' by taking additional hormones. Certain posts on this forum reinforce this, as do friends/family. They are as unhelpful as some of the 'too strongly advocating HRT' ones, in terms of how they affect others. Does anyone else know what I mean?

One thing this thread has made me wonder is if there should be a separate thread for younger members. I say this in an objective, non ageist way: when you're at an age when your body 'expects' to still be having ample estrogen, the risks of not having it are proven.  The general treatments on offer are slightly different too. Sometimes I can innocently make a comment, trying to be helpful, but later realise what I am saying (eg about protecting my heart) is more pertinent to younger members in their 20s, 30s and early 40s. It could be scary to those members in a different situation, who have to weigh up the proven risks of HRT verses the benefits. (Risks are greater the older you get). There is also the additional grief of never being a mother which I know affects some younger members.

I know there are websites especially for younger people, but I am so fond of the people on here and value their opinions, support and girl-humour far too much to log in anywhere else!! X

[Gill Mojo]

Do the symptoms feel the same? follow similar patterns that you have had for years?

It feels exactly the same, just more frequent, but as I said elsewhere, the anger is a return to the really old, and has definitely started to get worse since I began noticing menopause symptoms. You have to wonder if your brain is doing it to you some days!


I wonder if asking the same question on a depression group would give you answers;

I have tried many depression based forums over the years and have yet to find a useful one. They all seem to be filled with people who want to share their problems - almost like they are trying to outdo each other as to who has it worse - rather than be interested in sharing solutions. I have long since given up on them

[GypsyRoseLee]

I think that's a good idea Briony. I really like and respect so many on here and value their input that I don't want to go elsewhere.

But a separate thread for younger women suffering peri symptoms a would be nice. I think our symptoms can be different and possibly more extreme as we still have too many of our hormones on board and buggering about.

[GypsyRoseLee]

Also wanted to say I am so glad I found this site and the support has been wonderful. But at first I was very wary of posting as so manybon here seemed 10-15 years ahead in their symptoms and were generally menopausal. They seemed to be dealing much more with hot flushes and vaginal atrophy etc, rather than the volatile mood swings and anxiety.

So a separate thread would perhaps feel more relevant to some younger peri menopausal women?