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[Winterose]

I have several friends in 50s and 60s who have never even had more than a slight flush and some of them havent even had that - so have never taken a thing and only one of them ever read anything about menopause so unless it affects you suspect most of the time you dont go researching , would love to know why some bodies sail thru and others dont -

[Briony]

It's impossible to quantify how much another person suffers during the menopause and to say that those who choose not to take HRT cannot be suffering much, is unkind and unhelpful.

There are other ways to help your body and mind adjust to the menopause and anyone who decides on something different should be given support.  Especially on this site.

Prajna, reading back what I wrote (in a hurry) it may have sounded like I was implying those who dont take HRT are somehow suffering less than those that do. Sorry - that's really not what I meant     I was thinking more of the many people who were incredibly supportive when I felt so ill  I could hardly walk  (despite being a fit runner previously) and had to have  brain scans - but once they heard it was 'only' hormonal, they treated me in a really dismissive and even patronising way. I never, ever envisaged myself taking HRT as I have always tended to be a 'natural' girl, but I reached a point where I could not maintain my job without some form of intervention. My consultant said, at my age,  my heart was at risk if I didn't take it so I had no option. However, since then I have had to endure so many people telling me they 'didnt let meno get to them', 'were strong enough to handle a few badly behaved hormones' etc etc  that I have become very defensive. Even my own mother has suggested that I have 'given in' by taking it. It's so hurtful.

I know sometimes I must sound evangelical about taking HRT/the pill, but it's only because I know how much time I wasted initially on ADs, pain killers, anti convulsants, vitamin supplements, EPO  etc (not to mention £££s on acupuncture and seeing an osteopath) because I felt I would be judged on HRT. Now I take it (well, the pill in my case) I so regret not doing so sooner as it's the only thing that's given me some form of normal life again. Outside of this site, all I heard were unhelpful comments such as  'it gives you cancer' 'it's not for 40 year olds', so I guess I have tried to give another perspective to those currently suffering, but have been put off HRT.

I totally accept that some choose not to take it, others simply cant. For me, I don't think I could have gone on without it - and regardless of what my friends and family might think, I am finally beginning to accept that I am not 'weak' for doing so.

-  But whatever our situation, the key thing is that on here we are all supportive of each other and our personal choices. I really enjoy hearing from those in other situations and would be the first to try any alternative solutions that have been successful for people with similar symptoms to those I had.

Apologies if I didn't make this clear in my first post, B x

[leony]

I agree Briony my mum said to me we never had those in my day shes 85 you just got on with it but I was only 43 when I hit meno am now 60 and just weaned myself off HRT after 17 years the GP did say I could go back on if I needed but am on an AD and seem to be coping now. The reason I was taking both at 1 time is I had a complete meltdown and never want to go down that road again. In saying that I remember my mum sitting at the dining table crying her eyes out and ranting and raving never knew what it was till I hit meno.

[Katejo]

Reading through the multiple threads it seems to me that almost everyone here is on some kind of treatment. I know I am generalising, but seriously, is there anyone around who doesn't take anything - by which I mean stuff specifically for meno? I really don't want to take anything - and I know circumstances might force my hand - and I would love to hear from people who have made it through/continued post-meno without taking any prescribed meds.

I'm not on any at all. I have considered it but am a bit reluctant and also had a chance conversation with a GP some time ago in which I was told that the practice didn't really support it. That put me off asking again. That was some time ago and i have since been given the name of a female doctor who might be able to help. My flushes aren't severe though they have become more frequent since my periods stopped. I have had some other vague symptoms which could be connected to menopause but I'm not sure if they are.

[babyjane]

'I was told that the practice didn't really support it.'

this doesn't sound right to me.  Surely if a woman wants to try HRT for her symptoms, practice policy should not bar her from doing so.

I have had my share of hot flushes but dealt with them as they arose.  Magicool is wonderful stuff.  Maybe some women suffering might think I am 'sailing through'.  I certainly think I have got away more lightly than some people but I would not say sailing, more paddling I reckon.

If I had not found and joined this forum I could well have gone down the AD route but I prefer the (cyber) group therapy available here which helps me to work it all out. From what I have seen HRT is not always a cure all and can bring its own problems until it settles down. 

[meno lesley]

Was very ignorant of menopause and after a year of hot flushes thought I was sailing along quite nicely. Then at 52 had a complete meltdown with about 33 of the 34 listed meno symptoms hitting at once. I fought against any help but realised that if I was to function and carry on working that I would have to have something to support me. 5 years on and various hrt's I have managed to carry on working but have found this site invaluable in advice and support - couldn't have done without it.

Lesley x

[honeybun]

Each one to their own I think.

We all have different needs, we all have a different threshold for various symptoms.

I am so glad to see this topic as although I do use HRT for flushes and insomnia....I feel that when some women come to the forum looking for support they have HRT shoved at them from quite a few members rather than being listened to and supported with the choices they have made.
As one of our newer members said, to be told that someone uses HRT to protect against X Y and Z is as good as saying if you don't use it then this will happen to you. Very scary for a new and unsure member.

I really wish I hadn't had to go down the HRT route as I was also into very natural remedies whenever I could. It's certainly not been a cure all for me but in order to function I have had no choice.

Honeyb
X

[Kathleen]

Hello ladies.

I agree with honeybun, each to their own. We are all doing the best we can and that's okay in my book, no guilt, no judgement.

Without various concoctions and treatments over the years I would've died long before menopause struck so just living this long is a success story!

Wishing all MM ladies well, whatever life throws at us.

K.

[Briony]

'I was told that the practice didn't really support it.'

this doesn't sound right to me.  Surely if a woman wants to try HRT for her symptoms, practice policy should not bar her from doing so.

I have had my share of hot flushes but dealt with them as they arose.  Magicool is wonderful stuff.  Maybe some women suffering might think I am 'sailing through'.  I certainly think I have got away more lightly than some people but I would not say sailing, more paddling I reckon.

If I had not found and joined this forum I could well have gone down the AD route but I prefer the (cyber) group therapy available here which helps me to work it all out. From what I have seen HRT is not always a cure all and can bring its own problems until it settles down.

Absolutely. Regardless of whether we take HRT or not, I am sure the one thing we have all realised is the lack of consistency within the medical profession with regard to the menopause. One practice told me they would not prescribe HRT  because of my age, regardless of the fact the endocrinologist said I should have it; another doctor would only consider ADs despite the fact nearly all my symptoms were physical at that point; a locum said my problems were definitely not hormonal as I had not had hot flushes (!) and therefore ordered a load of unnecessary, expensive and quite scary tests;  FPC pushed the pill; and my current GP said 'visit MM, do your research and let me know what you want to try, if anything at all'. She's lovely.  When I said I would like to try the bio identical route and mentioned Utrogestan - which shed not come across - she did some research and called me that evening to say she'd write a prescription. She also mentioned taking sage.  Such a contrast of experiences.

If men had periods, I wonder if things would be different?! X

[Briony]

Each one to their own I think.


As one of our newer members said, to be told that someone uses HRT to protect against X Y and Z is as good as saying if you don't use it then this will happen to you. Very scary for a new and unsure member.

I am aware that I mentioned risks to the heart in my previous post, so feel like this is probably aimed at me. Please can I qualify what I said previously by adding I meant there are increased risks to the heart with regard to people experiencing premature menopause. It's different when you're nearer 50. I don't mean to scare anyone by writing this, but as far as I am aware, it's a fact? Certainly it's what both consultants I saw said and what I have read online?

I find it quite hurtful to suggest I may have written this to scare. I was simply sharing my experience of what I was told. I am beginning to think I should have kept quiet 

[honeybun]

Oh no, sorry Briony, that was not aimed at you at all.

I should have made it more clear...it's just that it has been mentioned before in other topics that some lean from being helpful to evangelical.

Premature menopause is something completely different altogether.

I'm sorry if I offended and I really did not mean to. I will remove the post if you want.


Honeyb
X

[Briony]

Not at all HB. I actually totally agree with what you say  hence reason I was mortified when I realised how my post read! (Especially as I am always being told I speak before engaging my brain!).     Vivre la difference xxx

[honeybun]

Oh, you and me both.

Hope things are ok now ?

X

[CLKD]

I think too that many ladies are shocked at the suddenness and ferocity that symptoms can over take them!  Although we know our bodies women tend to put others first, i.e. kids up in the morning and into school on time, partner has sandwiches made up with his flask; elderly parents need looking in on to make sure they are OK ……. we are generally more mobile than our Grannies in that they stayed home to do house-wifely chores and we are more likely to be going into work as well as the above!

Therefore ladies don't get the chance to sit down, take stock and rest when their bodies tell them to.  They push on; and on; and ……….

Reading Forums like this gives ladies the opportunity to find out how others cope and what is available should symptoms become unmanageable.  Remember too that one can change one's mind 

[leony]

If I found I wasn't coping on just the ADs at the present I would most defo go back on HRT they worked for me and my GP has said if I can;t manage without them he will put me back on.