Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[GypsyRoseLee]

Thank you for posting to me LynneHunter, I really appreciate it. I completely sympathise with you. I know exactly how you feel regarding holidays. I used to love holidays. Now they are just a huge hurdle. I have no idea if I will feel okay or not. And feeling anxious when you are away from home is 10 times worse. Sometimes you NEED the familiar things around you.

You WILL get better. Very few things last forever. I agree with CLKD about trying valium on an emergency basis. Often just knowing you have it is enough.

[CLKD]

Not having to make arrangements nor justify myself to others eases anxiety a bit.
Holiday looming next week 

As for emotions I shut down due to depression.  Gradually I have taken up hobbies again, reading was the best - when ill I was unable to be bothered to pick up a book/magazine  nor could I lay in the bath ……… now I can: cuppa, very good book and lots of bubbles 

[Rebelyell]

I totally sympathise Gypsy - I cannot seem to pull myself out of my current low.  The anxiety has now turned into depression with a flat/sad feeling all day.   I feel really ashamed as I was watching DIY SOS last night and I have nothing to worry about compared to the family on there.

I am on oestrogen only and I think I didn't handle the anxiety early enough - I am now left feeling lonely and a bit isolated by it [although like you, am totally functioning on the 'outside'].   I hope you have somebody to share it with as I think that helps. 

Thinking of you, and all of us who suffer from anxiety.  It appears to be a major source of threads on here, which is terrribly sad at a time when we should be letting go and relaxing.

[CLKD]

That family though were getting help Rebelyell ……..

Where does anxiety start for you all? With me it's around and below my belly button then I get a whoosh of 'oh no!' followed by the need to find a bathroom quickly  made worse if we are out and about with no loo in sight.  Even when on our patio the surges can be awful 

Sometimes I know it's because my body is hungry other times the anxiety takes over.

[GypsyRoseLee]

For me the anxiety starts in my chest. Like a sinking sensation inside. I can't stop it once it starts. Then I find I cannot really rest but must keep busy to try and distract myself. The thought of just sitting quietly with a book, reading in the garden fills me with unease that borders on panic. I lose my sense of well being and contentment completely. I feel jittery and raw inside. I feel like a faded photocopy of myself.

But..............having said that I have been feeling so very, very much better since Monday. Not sure if the HRT is finally kicking in after over 2 months? But I had actually forgotten what it felt like to feel this 'good'. When I say 'good' I actually just mean NORMAL with no background anxiety pecking at me.

I'm sure it won't last. But it has given me a lot of hope that I can, at least, feel like this some of the time.

[pepperminty]

Hi GRL,

I have come to realise that there appears to be no such thing as normal now. For me the feeling of numbness and detachment when it comes if preferable to the crippling anxiety. You are also fortunate to be able to understand your feelings and process the emotions , so many women are in a state of total confusion and believe they are quietly going insane. Like you my emotions can seem to change just like that , and I am trying to just accept it for now , as I can't fight it. Sometimes I feel as though I am dying inside , and I have nothing to offer anyone , least of all myself. But others it is not so bad , and I try to see the positives.  What a nightmare this all is !!

Pepperminty xx

[SallyG]

Hi GRL and Lynhunter and CLKD and Annie and everyone,
as usual I am late to post onto the thread…..another way of feeling alienated and apart from….
I had a horrible week last week with my crazy boss who is actually ill herself from workaholism.
I went to my GP to talk about my progress and the stress I still felt. She is lovely and has upped my anti anxiety dose from 20 to 30 and I feel so much better. Im with CKLD…use the medication available to get through these periods of anxiety. Why suffer. I was priding myself on being on 20mg of an anti anxiety….. but why should I suffer.Its pointless.
I am feeling better.
SallyG

[babyjane]

Thank you to all the lovely ladies who have posted here and thank you for mentioning holidays  .

We have recently returned from a week's holiday and it was not the happy time it should have been at all.  I tried but just could not manage it.  The ridiculous thing is that my GP gave me a small amount of Diazepam medication for this very situation but I am too scared to even try them, even a half a tablet, so I just suffered and so did my husband.  I did not want to be there, I did not want to go out and about (but I did for him) and I wanted to go home where I could relax and sleep as I slept very badly all week.  I also panicked about traffic jams all the time and that worry started at Christmas after we were caught in a bad one and I felt trapped.

Now I am geting obsessed about next year's holiday which is 15 months away and could be very different.  A lot can happen in 15 months and I might be much better as I used to enjoy our holidays. I tried to put all thoughts of it into a box like Honeybun suggested but I keep opening the lid and picking away at it 

[honeybun]

Give the diazepam a try BJ when you are at home with your hubby.

It won't harm you.....really it won't. All it does is take the racing thoughts and the tummy knots and ease them away. It won't make you feel anything except relaxed.

Just knowing they are there after your experiment might be enough.

We are off on holiday in the morning and I will take one about half an hour before we set off knowing it will really help the pre holiday nerves.

As for letting go when I get there takes a wee while but hubby doesn't pressure me to do anything. We just relax and take it as it comes.


Honeyb
x

[20032003]

I recognize the feeling of not being able to be away from home (well, I CAN be at work but that's another predictable place). My mom asked me to go shopping with her yesterday. A one hour drive, some shopping and eating, and then a one hour drive back. I did it, but it was with so much less joy than it used to be. The whole time, more or less, I just want to go home... And when I'm home, I don't know what to do with myself... I really, truly hate this stage of life... 

[babyjane]

Honeybun I am rather concerned that it might work too well and I will like it too much 

[honeybun]

As long as you are aware then it shouldn't be a problem.

Diazepam does have its place and used very occasionally then it's very useful.
Why put yourself through misery of a journey for example when you don't have to.

Your GP won't give you enough for there to be any problems anyway.


Honeyb
x

[dazned]

I agree with SallyG and Honeybun here take the medication !  That's what it's for,we only get one life and for most of us on here we are half or two thirds through it ! There are no medals handed out for not doing so ,so why are so many people scared to take anything that might just make things more bearable. Doctors wouldn't perscribe them if it wouldn't be of some use. I didn't want to take them but needs must and I'm so glad I did,we seem to have no qualms about taking hrt but seem to have major problems with beta blockers,valium,ADs,sleeping tablets when they all have they place. Yes they are chemically made but compere it with all the things that are sprayed on our crops,injected in our meat and added to our food and I really can't understand this reluctance in maybe feeling better,sometimes we need something extra and there's no shame in accepting it.

[babyjane]

ok I will try it as I have a lot of tension in my muscles just now, especially my head and jaw muscles. It could help with a wedding we are attending in September. I have a box of 10 tablets.

It is not the chemicals that I am wary of dazned but the addictive possibilities as I  have an addictive personality

[dazned]

You should be fine ,you only have 10, take them when you know you might have a particular stressful situation coming up ,like if you traveling ,they just relax you so takes the edge off. Let us know how you get on.