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[GypsyRoseLee]

Hi Shelb

I can sympathise as I am just n the same place at the moment. Got anxiety always nibbling away at the edges of my mind just enough to put me on edge and to take away any pleasure in anything.

I tried CBT and talking therapies last year. A total waste of time for me though I know they work very well for some people. But I am already very self aware and capable of pretty accurate self analysis. I know the techniques to use, but they just don't work for me. Plus my therapist was quite a nervy young man which didn't instil any confidence in me either 

But this WILL pass. Back when I had post natal depression the anxiety was over whelming. When my husband was away with work I can remember ringing my poor Mum at 5.30am sobbing down the phone begging her to come over because I felt so scared. Bless her she did straight away. At the time the anxiety/fear was pretty constant all day and every day and I just couldn't comprehend that I could ever feel any different (which made it all the more terrifying). But of course I made a full recovery and was perfectly well and anxiety free for years an years.

So I KNOW this peri hormonal anxiety will also eventually go away. It's just that I can't FEEL that it will ever go away.   

[Rebelyell]

Interesting and wise words Gypsyroselee.  On my good days I feel it is all over and I am 'well' again - I can't even relate to the jibbering wreck I was the day before.  Then on a bad day [like now] I can't believe I will ever get better and that sinks me further into a cycle of anxiety that is hard to shift.  I become convinced I am dying of something awful - and I think 'when this has gone I will be better again' but when it goes I just find something else.

I too have tried CBT and like Gypsy I am very self aware and nothing the therapist said was new - in fact I was given homework that was just photocopied sheets from a self-help book on depression [when I had gone for anxiety, which I think is very different].   I am trying again with an NHS therapist this week so will try and have an open mind.

But - Shelb, what we are all saying is, this will PASS.  Everything does really.   I find it best to keep busy - mornings are worst for me as I work from home and my mind starts going the minute I wake.  Once I am stuck into to something with the radio on I can distract myself.  Be kind to yourself, get out and be with people.  Try to find something to make you laugh.  It occurred to me recently that I don't have anywhere near enough laughter in my life anymore.  A sad loss.

Good luck

[GypsyRoseLee]

Hi Rebelyell

Yes when I'm having a 'bad' day or week then I quickly become convinced that THIS TIME the anxiety and depression just won't lift and that I will feel this low and wretched forever until I die. Obviously, this conviction vastly intensifies my anxiety/low mood further and a vicious circle begins.

Obviously, this conviction is also completely irrational. No one stays feeling low and wretched forever in just the same way that no one stays deliriously happy and cheerful forever. Plus I have the written proof in my mood diary that these anxiety/depressed episodes do come and go all the time.

But when I am in an episode I am convinced that THIS TIME it is different. And actually the very irrationality of this makes me feel slightly better because I KNOW it's my hormones directing these thoughts. Because the only other time I have felt so irrational and riddled with anxiety was when I had post natal depression. When I had post natal depression I was utterly convinced that I would still have pnd even when I was watching my daughter getting married