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[countrybumpkin]

I am two and half years post meno and never taken any hrt.  In alot of ways I am so much better now that I was peri meno as I no longer have the constant bleeding and flooding.  My anxiety isn't as bad but then the constant awful symptoms probably added to the anxiety!
I do have hot flushes which improve in winter and get worse in summer just when you don't want them and I have slight discomfort when weeing due to lack of oestrogen down there
I no longer have the agonising ovulation pains that plagued me all the time I had periods that got worse before my ovaries packed up so thats a great improvement.
I think the hot flushes and down there problems can last for many many years though as I hve friends in their 70's who still get hot flushes.

[GypsyRoseLee]

That's very reassuring to hear countrybumpkin.

I try and console myself that in not too many years I will be able to look back at this awful peri roller coaster like it was all just a bad dream. My Mum is in her 70s now and can barely remember much about her menopause.

[countrybumpkin]

That's very reassuring to hear countrybumpkin.

I try and console myself that in not too many years I will be able to look back at this awful peri roller coaster like it was all just a bad dream. My Mum is in her 70s now and can barely remember much about her menopause.

I think its a bit like childbirth is meno in that your brain is designed to forget about the horrors after a time   Always best to ask the other half if there is one as they often have very vivid memories of meno!

[CLKD]

Trey is busy and fine 

How long after a lady has improved does she realise ……… 

[GypsyRoseLee]

I bet you don't realise at the time, as such. I expect that after a matter of months (years?) you look back and realise how better and more outgoing you have been recently, compared to before.

To be honest, right now if someone offered me a trip in a time machine to when all this peri Hell is behind me I would jump at the chance. Even if it meant fast forwarding 10 years and me being 55. Living like this just sucks 

[honeybun]

I felt like that in my mid to late 40s until I realised I was wishing my life away.

Life is too bl**y short already so no matter what it flings our way you really should try and find positives in every day.
My kids have grown up in a flash....where did those years go. I am absolutely determined that despite aches pains and digestive issues, and anxiety. I am going to enjoy what I have.

You only walk this way once and no one died of menopause....so make the most of it.

Honeybun
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[SueRoe]

Your post made me think Honeybun. If you can give those of us who can't find the energy or motivation to "make the most of it" some tips (any tips!) I for one would be grateful. How did you turn things around in your forties when you realised you were wishing your life away?

[honeybun]

I just don't want to look back in ten years time and think what a waste. I can't/don't do a lot that I used to because of anxiety but I have tried to find other things I enjoy.
My hubby has not got the best of health and I just don't know what's ahead.....so despite feeling rubbish sometimes I just try to put it to the back of my mind and enjoy what I can.

Am I going to waste these years....am I heck.

We all have our health issues and we all get fed up but even a little thing each day to make you feel good helps.
For me it's a walk on the beach. A laugh with my hubby, my dog on my knee....anything really but don't waste years trying to feel the way we used to.

Kind of works for me.

Honeybun
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[CLKD]

I worried [out-loud] recently about not doing as much as we would like but DH told me 'it is what it is, you are what you are and we get out and about plenty' ………  ……. half a day at a time?

Acceptance is difficult.  Having an unsympathetic GP won't help make this journey any easier! there's nowt in 'it' for the drug companies  …….. when anxiety hits me I have to take the emergency pill, when depression over-took last week I began to get fearful again.  But it isn't always: 24/7 as it was throughout the 1990s  . 

No quick fix I'm afraid.

[GypsyRoseLee]

You speak a lot of sense honeybun. Back in my 20s I suffered with anxiety when I started a new job. Used to dread Mondays etc. Back then I was able usually to talk myself around, or lift my mood by getting outside or spending time with friends etc.

But this hormonal anxiety/depression is a whole other ball game. It absolutely floors me and I am helpless when it strikes. I have fought it tooth and nail, but nothing works. It's weapon grade anxiety which actually feels like intense despair. So I'm afraid I would still happily trade the next 5 years of this, if I could fast forward to being over it. I genuinely would.

The only other time I have experienced it is when I had post natal depression, so I know it's caused by hormones.

[honeybun]

Fighting tool and nail is the worse thing you can do.
Acceptance is the key. It passes, it does not harm you. If you keep fighting then your brain becomes even more accustomed to the feeling of panic.

Clair Weekes has a book that explains it very well.

Try to let the feelings come, accept them for what they are, tell yourself you are fine and then let them flow away.

Not easy I know and I'm a work in progress but I'm improving albeit slowly.


Honeyb
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[Limpy]

The only other time I have experienced it is when I had post natal depression, so I know it's caused by hormones.

As you say, it's caused by hormones.
Not a lot can be done about it.
I believe the expression, is go with the flow.

It's not worth getting ratted up and distressed about.
It's not nice but it will pass and it isn't fatal.

[SueRoe]

Yes...but...don't you feel as if your life is slipping through your fingers as you wait for things to improve? Day after day of mooching around with no energy while there's a whole world full of things to do and see if only you could get going...
Waiting for it all to be over is all well and good if you know you're going to have many years of decent-quality life left later, but none of us knows that. And I want my life back now, not when I'm 60, 65, 70...

[honeybun]

But really that is the whole point. You have to work with what you have got be it bad or bloody awful.
I'm not great right now but I'm reminding myself I have better times. My hubby and my daughter are great reminding me of the progress I have made over the past three years of anxiety.
I'm not fighting it, I'm just accepting it knowing it will pass again and improve a bit.
It's been a lovely day here so hubby and I wandered along the beach and I went for a paddle....freezing...but I got pleasure from it and will think of that.
You simply have to try and see the positives, it could be so much worse.

Onwards and upwards is the only way to go.


Honeybun
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[CLKD]

It isn't called "The Change" for nowt 

Try taking half a day at a time?  Don't make too many plans?  Those plans that you make should be flexible for *you*, don't worry about what others might think 

Accept that as when we began our periods, this is another change in hormone levels, although at least we knew that eventually periods would stop ………