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[TropicalVon69]

Any words of support would be great ladies, as my post says I'm just feeling terrible this morning and feel like I will never be happy or feel love again.....so scared......I have appt with gynae this afternoon so hoping for some kind of good outcome.....I have barely spoken to my children in the last few days and feeling alone and going a bit mad to be honest.....I just so want to feel better for my girls and myself.....feel like crying but its not coming, think I would feel better if I could.....life feels so empty as do I....not helping is a urine infection....day 2 of abs.....so tired.....life is not worth living at the moment.....despairing, sad, anxious....help please xxx

[toffeecushion]

So sorry you are feeling so bad 
Hopefully you will feel better after your appointment this afternoon.  I know exactly how you feel though, life can feel so empty at times.  You can be surrounded by people and still feel so alone.  Be kind to yourself, this will pass.

[Joyce]

 

[Annie0710]

Please know that you're not going mad, that this cruel menopause is making you feel like this

I so hope they can help you, good luck this afternoon

Use us as your way of letting it out xx

[GypsyRoseLee]

Sending you a big cyber hug.

I remember feeling exactly like you describe. So empty and despairing inside. I could look at my lovely children and gorgeous hubby and just feel nothing for them. Awful. This is full blown depression. But not clinical. Hormonal depression. So take courage from the fact your hormones are forever changing on an hourly basis.

So I promise you won't feel like this forever. You likely won't feel like this even this weekend. At least you know what is causing your depression. Depression is harder to treat when the cause isn't known.

It's great you are seeing a gynae today. They will have seen hundreds of women with your symptoms. I know mine had.

Oh and don't worry about never feeling love again. You will. All the love is still there. But it's locked away in a part of your brain that your depression is blocking you from accessing. My friend is a clinical psychologist, and that's how she explained it to me.

[TropicalVon69]

Thanks so much ladies....have just dropped wee girl off at school....so utterly devastated feeling like this.....they deserve so much better than a non functioning mum....has hrt helped with your feelings gypsy rose?...hoping the by as will offer patches as have tried femoston andelleste due t.....any suggestions?....thanks for all your understanding xxx

[jedigirl]

Bless you feeling so awful 
The anxiety, despair that comes over us in peri is not like anything I'd ever experienced, so dark and consuming. I sat in a park in Grassmere last summer watching my family and it was like watching strangers, I felt so detached and eaten up by my feelings and what was happening to me.
Yes the HRT has helped with it, though there are days I don't feel well but not like before. I urge you to keep looking for the right one for you so you can feel well again. Are you on any kind of anxiety med also?
Try and rest and eat well, that helps.
Big hugs
xxx

[GypsyRoseLee]

I have only been on HRT for 3 weeks so it's too early to tell really. As I am still very up and down, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

[GypsyRoseLee]

Jedigirl, yes I can remember feeling exactly the same. You just feel like you're sinking down into this horrible black pit. And you look at your family and feel no emotional connection at all. It's actually very frightening.

I identify with being so caught up in your own feelings, constantly assessing how you feel and basically feeling scared and sorry for yourself. Hate it.

How long did it take for the HRT to improve your mood?

[Kathleen]

Hello TropicalVon69.

So sorry that you are struggling but as you can see many women understand your feelings because they've experienced them too. I certainly recognise the depression that you describe and it is hormonal. You are also fighting an infection which is enough to make anyone feel unwell!

Hopefully your gynae can help you this afternoon. Please let us know what happens and keep posting, we are all here for you.

Take care and sending hugs.

K

[TropicalVon69]

Thanks so much for sharing ladies and for your care.....it is so heart warming to have mutual support.....actually crying now which is an improvement......not on any anxiety meds jedigirl....tried citalopram last year and it frightened the life out a me....horrendous dark thoughts.....glad you're doing better :-)....hope gypsy rose that your hrt settles in and youre seeing the benefit soon....huggage to you all xxx

[GypsyRoseLee]

Crying is good, it makes your body release endorphins (I think) which calm you down a bit.

Keep reminding yourself that it is just your hormones making you feel this way. It's just a horrible chemical reaction. But it can be fixed.

Kathleen is right when she says hormonal depression is quite unique in how awful it feels. I suffered with regular 'clinical' depression years ago when my fiancé broke off our engagement and left me. That depression was dreadful and lingered on for a couple of years (until I met my now lovely hubby  ).

But this hormonal depression is much worse. More intense. And it makes me feel scared too, in a way that clinical depression never did.

[mandy43]

I'm with you Tropical... that's exactly how I have been the past week.  Like life is moving in front of your eyes and you are just standing still watching it instead of being part of it.... horrible feeling.  I have felt this many times the past couple of years, but the light will come soon and you will feel like the old you again... that's what I keep telling myself.  Hugs!!

[TropicalVon69]

Thanks again ladies....yeah feel this too like life is happening for other people.....makes me rage at everyone and everything too.....frightening and.so unfair and so not me....feeling u all too......just getting ready for my appt now....will let you know how I get on....love to you all xxx

[SueRoe]

Try not to despair, I know this is truly awful, but it will pass as the other ladies have already said. For you this is one of those days when the sun has gone behind a cloud but it will come out again, it always does. Big hug