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[Annie0710]

No never had counselling for my baby, although I had a lovely gp and although I'm not religious the hospital chaplain came to see me the day after the birth and told be about SANDS, my baby's name was put in their book of remembrance and each Christmas SANDS would meet at the hospital chapel to light candles for our babies, it gave a lot of comfort to my mum who suffered because of it and seeing me go through it, plus t helped my toddler at the time understand she had a sister, I had her ashes put with my nans and bought a marble plaque for the cemetery all arranged by a Funeral Director, she would be 25 now

Re the swab, a locum gp saw me shortly after and booked long appts for me over about 6 weeks so I guess it was counselling, I recovered physically and emotionally but will never forget it but I never dwell on it

[Ju Ju]

As with all bereavements, you don't forget, but hopefully build your life around it. Sometimes the grief comes to the forefront with new bereavements. It's never too late to go and see someone, if you feel the need to. It's not being weak.

I'm very grateful for the GP I now see. She has been persistent to help me through all my health issues. Thanks to her recommendation, I went to see my private gynaecologist. She follows through all the gynaecologist's recommendations, without challenging my taking HRT when I'm over 60.

[Annie0710]

That's good you have good professionals around you helping

No I'm ok , don't feel I need counselling or anything, I had a very good neighbour who was a nurse who talked me through everything my baby had, so I understood and found it amazing how babies are born so healthy, considering all the things that can go wrong

[honeybun]

I lost a little girl at 5 days old. I really do understand what you went through and how terribly hard it is.
You never forget but you do heal and move on through life.

It's something no parent should have to go through.

 


Honeyb
x

[Annie0710]

Aw bless you Honeyb

You see, I think yours is much worse, I was very poorly during that particular pregnancy and had a gut feeling all was not well, when they found the ptoblems I wanted to carry on and see what happens, but they kind of bullied me to end it, it's unnatural
But I think the worst is going through the birth and having nothing at the end of it when your body then changes in preparation to nurse that baby

Hugs to you x


Annie

[Judith57]

Hi Ju Ju, to answer your question, things started to go really wrong with my lady bits last year after I had sex with my partner and developed a UTI, two ladies on here Maryjane and Hattie know all about it and have been very supportive . Anyway I had two cystoscopy's last year, the first urologist said my bladder was fine and there was no prolapse, the second one diagnosed interstitial cystitis and put me on long term anti-biotics but they were making me feel ill so I stopped them. The gynaecologist I saw said I had VA and would be fine after Vagifem and HRT (I wasn't). I saw another sexual health specialist who said I had no sign of VA at all. The pain specialist I saw who gave me three nerve blocks said, quite dismissively, that I had a rectocele but I didn't really think much about it. A lot of the time I was also feeling as if I had a tampon stuck inside at the wrong angle.

Anyway, fast forward a few months and the rectocele is now starting to make it's presence felt - emptying my bowels is a problem as the contents of my rectum get stuck and my rectum never feels empty - I feel horrible typing this  , Also, if I strain to empty my bowels I get a lump in my vagina that I have to push back in. I know I should go and see somebody about this but last year I think I was examined internally by about 15 different people and now I can't bear the thought of anyone else looking at me  I am also getting really bad pain in my rectum.

[Judith57]

Annie and HB, a big hug to you both. A girl at work had a stillborn baby a couple of years ago and SANDS were amazing. The Company that I work for invites the staff to choose a charity for them to support for a five year period and at the moment it is SANDS.

[Taz2]

Hi Judith - although I understand your reluctance to be poked and prodded yet again you do need some specialist advice as this wont get better. Have you been referred to a pelvic floor specialist? A proper programme of pelvic floor exercises at this stage, although it wont cure the rectocele, could strengthen your tissues to prevent any further slippage and also the descent of anything else! I have had a hyster for a uterine prolapse and a cystocele (anterior repair) the repair is beginning to fail after only eight months. I left it too long really - put it off for three years - and my tissues were considerably weakened.  I would think you should be advised on the possibility of a posterior repair especially if you are having to digitise to get an effective bowel movement. 

Taz x

[Judith57]

I know I should Taz but one reads such horrible stories about things going wrong and I also have a problem with my pudendal nerve. Also, I don't really know where to start - I don't like my GP so would happily go privately, is it a gynaecologist for a posterior repair?

[Annie0710]

Thank you Judith

SANDS are a wonderfully supportive organisation and they too have suffered so it's nice to hear they receive help

I would really urge you to see a specialist, it's not right that you are suffering like that, if my problems became very bad, I would ask for a referral straight away


Annie

[Judith57]

I know I need to get back on the medical merry go round Annie but I lost so much faith in the medical profession last year that I really can't face it. I know there is a lady on the forum who had a rectocele repair so perhaps she will be along with some advice.

[Winterose]

I went in for repair 10 years ago and woke up to find my uterus had been removed along with quite a bit of bowel which they said had stuck together,suspect if they had looked at bowel first they would not have given hyster.  However I still have some prolapse but find its worse when under stress - does anyone else get that? Also know a lady who had mesh repairs and now incontinent.  Has anyone tried any of the tens machines for strengthening the pelvic floor?

Inititally i was horrified by it all but now accept it , would any of our American friends have news of better treatments?

[CLKD]

Judith - could you send an e-mail to your Surgery for advice? and ask which Speciality would be best for examination?  Any extra pressure down there may well aggravate your other problems  :big hug:

I often wonder how any baby reaches Term without problems …….. when I saw lots of sadness when working as a Medical Secretary, some babies went home, others were nursed until the end ……. there are so many medical problems and 'in the Wild', the baby wouldn't survive.  I was one of those babies but was popped into an incubator in a cupboard  (long story short) as I wasn't expected to live.

I hope that who ever 'gets in' ext week turns their attention to making the NHS a cross-Party issue ! and I wish that Surgeries would have question and answer evenings for people wanting to help improve services.  It's enough that a person is ill or worried without having to run the Gaunlet of trying to get an appt., then being made to feel we are wasting time or not getting the treatment we should have.  Someone said above that Doctors look at their particular 'speciality' but don't seem to join up the dots any more …….

(same with teachers  don't get me started  )

[Judith57]

Hi Winterose, that is one of the things that worries me about surgery, becoming incontinent afterwards 

CLKD, I have had a letter from my surgery inviting me for a smear so perhaps I will go to that and ask the nurse what to do....that's assuming they can do a smear of course 

[Limpy]

Judith - Perhaps the nurse may be able to give helpful advice.....