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[Annie0710]

Thank you all.  Feeling a lot better now, been to Tesco and bought a cake   Going to change my way of thinking - if if ain't in the bathroom it don't get washed   But I know he will bung it all in in one go and just when I thought all the washing was done I will have a basket full.

My son does that, bungs it all in one go, but he knows that doesn't mean it'll be given priority, I'll do the washload that is most important, underwear, work wear etc.

He knows me so well now, his ironing pile is huge but so be it

In fact, I always give him notice of when I'm putting in a wash, and since Easter, he keeps saying he must get his clothes out of his car from when we went away, and I still haven't got them in the wash basket !!! He's the one losing out, not me :-)


Annie

[Claireylou]

My two boys are forever leaving dirty laundry on their bedroom floor. I nag and nag that if it ain't in basket it doesn't get washed. Thought I was fighting a losing battle until one day, my 13 year old son came to me in a flap because he had games at school and his kit was dirty. I already knew this having seen it on his floor. After telling him there was no time to wash his kit, I packed him off to school. His games teacher had told him to "borrow" a kit out of lost property .... After telling me the kit he borrowed was dirty and smelly he now makes doubly sure that is own is carefully placed in laundry basket with plenty of time to wash it.

It took me years of nagging but it's finally paid off thank goodness xxx

[Dulciana]

Amazing what works, Claireylou!   

[honeybun]

We do let them go CLKD but it's not easy at the time. You invest so much time in your kids that when they do fly the nest there is a big gaping hole in your life. It takes time to adjust and learn how to be you and not just mum.

So, for the ladies with younger kids, make the most of every minute with them as the time passes all to quickly. Before you know it you will be washing for two and wondering where the time went 

My daughter is moving out again in Sept for her final year of uni. I will miss her dreadfully but it's what she wants to do. I'm not looking forward to it though.


Honeybun
X

[Dandelion]

I'm sorry but I need to vent and to ask if anyone else cries easily.

I've got a day off work today so usually spend it catching up on housework.  Last night I asked my sons (25 and 26) to make sure all their washing was in the bathroom so I could wash it today.  Well one did it the other didn't (shouldn't have expected any different really).  So I went in his room this morning, while he was asleep and picked up all his dirty clothes and washed them.  Big mistake, I should have known because they were on his floor that he didn't want them washed.  He had a moan this morning and I couldn't cope. 

I'm not feeling too good anyway, I ache all over and am having to struggle taking my vitamin D tablets.  I don't want to spend my day off doing housework and other people's washing but I do it anyway.  I just want to curl up somewhere and have some time to myself but I can't.  I shouldn't let it bother me but it does.  So as soon as he left this morning I just burst into tears and now my head is aching as well.

Going to leave the cat litter (next job on my list) and have a cup of tea.  Haven't even got any biscuits .  Thanks for letting me rant, life seems hard at times.

Sorry to hear you feel like this.
As for housework, sometimes I start it and end up crying or getting really angry to the point of self harm, so I have to leave it.
I started sorting the washing, and ended up just putting a huge heap of clothes on my bed that needs sheets putting on it.
Everything just feels overwhelming sometimes. I just do little bits of washing and housework when I can cope. Hoovering is worse, my floor got so dirty that the hoover finally busted. Depresseion takes away my energy and makes me ok with a dirty house, which i am ashamed of.
Now I understand why some people don't clean, they just don't have the energy, they are not lazy.
I am hard working, but depression just floors me. I am buying a nice Henry hoover and a carpet cleaner, it wont make mydirty carptet like new, but it will improve it and make me feel a bit happier, all the little thing, ah!!!

[toffeecushion]

Sometimes even the simplist of tasks is overwhelming

[rebecca]

My daughter has done 3 years at Uni and has been living in London for 9 months.
She came home at the weekend unexpectedly and came in the garden to say hello, I went to hug her and burst into tears, I can only say it that emotion I felt was similar to when my Mum died last year. (Makes no sense) This wave of emotion crept up on me again and I hate it! she said what's wrong Mum ? I just said I was pleased to see her but felt SO STUPID and out of control.. I just hate being an emotional wreck...

What is also awful is that I can't focus on anything while she is here but how I am going to cope when she goes again... I cannot simply enjoy the moment. I hope these feelings get better. My other daughter leaves shortly to spend a year overseas I am already focussing on the drive to the airport and dreading it!

I need to find a way to deal with this 
Anyone else out there have any tips ?

Rebecca
 
 

[Dandelion]

Yeah lots of things are overwhelming.

I remember as a little girl and meeting a lot of women who were over 40-50 and feeling unhappy vibes from them, now I know why, they were probably going through perimenopause.
Now I understand.
If the docs would just give us a good choice of hrt and not bang on about cancer risks we would be alot happier and able to do housework etc without crying.

[CLKD]

When depressed I dozed on the settee for months.  Not a lot got done.  Now not a lot gets done because I'm up and about doing stuff with DH  .  It gets me down sometimes, we are dirty in places i.e. along window sills, double glazing needs cleaning on the frames, floors need mopping.  DH wields the hoovery-thingy most Mondays even moving the bed ….. he doesn't do windowsills though 

I try to keep kitchen and lounge tidy in case visitors arrive, but no one does.  PHEW! and friends that drop by have to take me as they find us!

Even tackling 1 room a day doesn't help me, our dining room is full of stuff I have put there - out of sight, out of mind.  So on my better days I do 'chores', but far prefer being in our garden 

As for shedding tears with a surprise visit from the daughter! That would happen to me too, no need to be ashamed.  If I meet people I am fond of in the street, I'm soon reaching for the Kleenex - with sheer pleasure!

  Claireylou -    result!

[honeybun]

Clutter and mess makes my anxiety much worse. I need tidiness to be able to cope. Funny how we are all different.
I just have to have a tidy house.

Rebecca, have you told your daughter you are going through meno. Both my son and daughter know and if I get a bit over emotional I just get a hug. Stops me feeling such a twit in front of them.
If they understand, even a bit then it makes all the difference.


Honeybun
X

[caz24]

Thanks for your kind words Honeybun about letting go and Rhubarb yes we should definitely start a support group! I agree that it's a good thing to let your children know that you are going through meno and I've told mine.  I still feel daft though when I get over emotional and knowing that I am probably going to get over emotional and then trying to stop it is awful, I wish there was a pill that I could take that would stop that big lump in my throat and stop the tears.

So Rebecca if you hear any good tips please let me know! x

[CLKD]

If Nature hadn't intended us to cry, she wouldn't have given us feelings 

[Rhubarb]

Yes thank you honeybun, you explained that so well about the gaping hole and needing to adjust when our kids leave home

Had a crying spell today, didn't get much done around the house, but like I always say, "tomorrow is another day" 

[Maryjane]

All my three have flown the nest....and one lives in New Zealand......there is a saying we give our children routes of where they came from.....and wings so they can fly.😊