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[GypsyRoseLee]

Well I didn't sleep a wink. Terrible.

To be honest I had already been feeling jitter/anxiousy on and off all evening. The diarrhoea came back. But took the Utrogestan at about 10.15. Started feeling a bit sleepy and started nodding off on sofa. But when I went to bed at midnight I could NOT fall asleep. Felt like I was just about to, then kept getting little surges of adrenaline. Really horrible. Finally gave up trying at about 4.30am 

I don't know if this is caused by the Utrogestan, or not? I have had several very similar insomnia attacks recently. But this has been the worst.

But this is how my sleep was last week, before I was on HRT and ended up having to take diazepam several times. So I'm not sure I should blame the HRT? I've only been wearing the patch for 3 days for goodness sake, and only taken one lot of Utrogestan. I wouldn't have thought it would have had nearly enough time to have an effect on me?

I wonder if this is just a continuation of my insomnia/low mood/anxiety episode which have been going on since my last period started 2 weeks ago? I had a brief reprieve of mood on Thursday and Friday - and slept much better (but I did take Kalms Night time both nights) but now it's back. And perhaps the HRT just hasn't had chance to take any effect and help stop these symptoms yet? It's only been 3 days after all.

Can anyone advise? I feel so wretched and shaky. I will be absolutely devastated if it turns out that HRT is actually going to be of no help at all 

[GypsyRoseLee]

Thank you Stella. Yes, I do feel very anxious and a last night without any sleep has made it feel that much worse.

When I saw my GP on Thursday I told him I was on Day 13 of my cycle, so he told me I had to put a patch on straight away and then start the Utrogestan on Day 15 (yesterday) and take it through until Day 26 (this is what it also says on the packet).

[jedigirl]

GypsyRoseLee,
It's way too early to blame the HRT yet, it's more likely your anxiety about taking the HRT and general upheaval of everything is affecting you. You were nervous about taking the Utrogestan yesterday so maybe that was on your mind? I know when I took my first tablet I almost expected a drum roll and lay in bed with my heart flying!
Rest when you can today, try some guided meditation, ask for help from those around and let everything take its time working. Be kind to yourself, the HRT isn't an instant fix. Remember your hormones didn't dwindle over a few days and they won't rebalance that quickly either. Hugs xxx

[SallyG]

Nor did I - stomach problems and then ruminations. My HRT according to Dr Annie is slightly sedative and I do take it last thing at night but my I am getting horrid stomach things…..it keeps me from sleeping and then I worry that I won't ever feel normal again. Not nice. I do empathise.

[GypsyRoseLee]

Thak you Jedigirl, you're very kind. I know I am over reacting and panicking but I am just so sick of feeling like this. It's been going on now for 2 weeks with just a few hours of normal service here and there. I just desperately want some good mood stability and some peace of mind.

I think if I hadn't needed to take the Utrogestan last night my mood would probably have stayed okay? But it was preying on mind and when your resources are already depleted from 2 weeks of dealing with this it's all too easy for the stupid anxiety to take hold. I don't think it can be a coincidence that my anxiety got worse the nearer I got to knowing I would need to take it?

My logical brain knows it will take a few weeks to re-balance me and my hormones. But deep down I was secretly thinking I would pop on a patch and be back to the old me in 24 hours. Daft I know. And at the back of my mind is the very real terror that HRT isn't going to actually work for me and that I'm not going to get better, and that doesn't bear thinking about.

[GypsyRoseLee]

It's grim isn't it SallyG [hugs] Which HRT do you take?

I have had an upset stomach every day for the last 14 days. Not sure whether it's just anxiety causing it? Or my hormones? Or my hormones causing my anxiety which the causes the diarrhoea anyway. ggggrrrrrrrrr 

[GypsyRoseLee]

Thank you Stella. I have had this upset stomach for two weeks, I think it's caused by just my general anxiety which decided to arrive the day my period finally started this month (after 5 weeks of feeling perfectly normal and happy, and having a period which caused me no problems at all).

I really wish I had waited until my next period started before taking my HRT, then I could have done it properly. Putting my first patch on, on Day 1 and then starting the Utrogestan on Day 15. Simpler.

But if I did that I would next see my consultant only just when I would starting the Utrogestan and wouldn't be able to report much feedback. 

[Kathleen]

Hello GypsyRoseLee and so sorry that you are suffering.

I agree with the other ladies that it is too soon to expect benefits from the HRT but they will come in time. I totally sympathise with your impatience though!

I wonder if our anxiety experiences are similar? I had a very intense and constant jittery feeling in my chest/stomach area all day, every day. It was horrible and debilitating but I know it was hormonal as it would miraculously stop about 9 pm, only to return the next day. Like you I considered throwing myself under a bus and after 6 months I could take no more and begun HRT. The thing is after two weeks of hormone therapy the horrible feelings went and have not returned. Two years later I still have issues and I do fiddle about with my HRT but the severe and overwhelming sensations have now gone.

I am sure you will feel better when your regime takes effect, in the meantime rest as much as you can.
Take care and keep posting.

K.   

[SueRoe]

GypsyRoseLee, I agree with the others here - it's too soon to make judgements about your HRT - though I understand your desperation for signs of an improvement in what's been badly dominating your life. Why not start with just the one (100mg) Utrogestan for a little while to introduce your body to it slowly? I know it's tempting once you've started HRT to keep examining how you feel hour by hour looking for an improvement but you'll just make yourself feel worse. It sounds like you need to find a way to relax throughout the day, not just at bedtime. Sleep won't magically come if you've bounced yourself off the walls all day! Big hug.

[Cassie]

Utrogestan def hypes me up, this is what I said in my prev post...most folk find it makes them sleepy, but I feel like I have had an overload of caffeine, when I take it, its only 12 days of the mth, so I kinda grin & bear it.

[GypsyRoseLee]

Hi Kathleen

I hate the fact that any of us have to suffer through this, it's just not fair.

My anxiety symptoms don't really manifest like yours? I get a tingling, pins & needles sensation in the middle of each buttock that travels down the back of each leg. Since being a teenager I have experienced this sensation whenever I get anxious, or am anticipating something exciting. Other than that when I am going through an anxiety/low mood episode I just experience a constant feeling of intense 'wrongness' like impending dread. It's always there simmering away then it can come and go in a very intense flash which just lasts a second. I can't see the point in doing or saying anything. I have to force myself to speak to my husband or children. I am very scared of being left alone and dread having to do anything that is even slightly outside my comfort zone.

Just like you say it is very debilitating and draining. And like you I know it MUST be hormonal because I usually feel better during the evening (last night was an exception) and can also experience several days, even weeks, at a time where it all goes away and I feel like my old self. Last month I felt great, on top of the world all month but I had an 'old fashioned' period. Heavier flow. Standard 28 days. Good libido.

This month my period went back to being erratic. Very light. Almost not like a real period at all. And I wonder if that's why I have been struggling again ever since. Like my body just didn't produce enough hormones so I didn't have a proper period, or something?

Thank you so much for your kind words. They really are appreciated. I truly hope that in a couple of weeks I can post to you saying how very much better I am feeling again.

[GypsyRoseLee]

Hi Freda

You are absolutely right. I feel like this has taken over my life. I am constantly analysing how I feel. Checking symptoms. Constantly checking for updates and replies on here. I'm driving myself up the wall (and probably everyone else too). Yet this time 4 weeks ago I was as different again. Hadn't been on here for weeks. Had stopped even keeping my Mood Diary because I had felt so well for week after week. Back to the old me and loving it.

But then I had this strange, late, very light period and have felt dreadful ever since. I don't know what's going on with that? Typically the couple of weeks after my period starts are usually my 'good' weeks.

I know I have to try and calm down and be rational. But it's really hard. I am getting paranoid about going to bed in case the insomnia strikes. And yes I know fretting will make me much less likely to sleep. It's so unfair.

I don't know about just taking 200mg of Utrogestan? When I see my consultant in 4 weeks I want to be able to be as honest in my feed back as possible, so she can tweak if necessary.

[GypsyRoseLee]

Hello Everyone 

I feel a bit calmer because I have come to a decision. I have decided to remove my patch and not take anymore Utro! I just don't think starting HRT mid cycle and plunging almost immediately into taking progesterone is a sensible move to make.

Especially when my hormones are clearly all over the place and topsy turvy.  These last 2 weeks since my period started have been so awful yet they SHOULD have been my better 2 weeks. What is going on???

And even more especially when my primary reason for taking HRT is to improve my anxiety and low moods. I am surprised my GP didn't advise I wait until my next period starts, and then start my HRT on Day 1.

So I have removed my patch, and will just have to wait until my period comes. It could be in in 10 days. Or it could be nearer 20. Will have to wait and see.

This does mean that when I next see my consultant in 4 weeks I might only have had a couple of weeks on the patch and maybe just a day or two on Utro, and that's a shame. But I think it's the best thing to do.

Thank you so much for all your very kind and supportive replies 

[CLKD]

HORMONES!  your own are playing a part here ……… undoubtedly you were worrying about taking/not at the 'right' time which didn't allow you to sleep, I get those surges and 'jumps' as I try to drop off to sleep  …… not often fortunately but I try to read if it happens. 

[GypsyRoseLee]

I think you're right CLKD. I had been looking forward to a nice 2 week stint on oestrogen before having to think about the progesterone part. Was really looking forward to it, as I've had a hellish 2 weeks of low mood/anxiety since my last period started.

Then when my GP told me to slap on a patch immediately, but would also have to still start on the Utro in just 2 days time I was very 

I HOPE I am doing the sensible thing by stopping HRT now and waiting until Day One of my next period before starting again? Least that way I will have 2 weeks of just oestrogen to help me get balanced.