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[tabbycat3838]

Hi cj, thankyou.. :-) yes i have had thyroid done, all normal apparantly i do know the tests can be innacurate tho,,im sure ive heard that theres going to be a whole revision done on them?x

[tabbycat3838]

Hey dg.. Yes if i get the space i do try to meditate, not too easy in my house!also EFT is amazing but i always forget to do it.
Yeah you are totally right about that!what a terrible concoction, teenagers and menopause.. Ugghh xxx

[Maryjane]

I had three teenage girls all at once......daughter no 3 went off the rails big time.....she was told she either abides by the rules or she leaves......she left......did her thing.......we are now the best of friends, she has a new baby......and I think baby is going to be a handful.....Karma 

[Dancinggirl]

Hi tabbycat - you mentioned that you were using a patch - Combined HRt patches only come in a medium dose so this may have been too high for you are this early stage of peri meno.  I'd give it a while without any HRT, check that the cardiologist is happy with your heart, take some Vitamin D, practise lots of Mindful Meditation and as we progress into spring see how you feel. If hot flushes etc emerge then perhaps try something like Femoston 1/10 to see if this helps.  Good luck DG x

[CLKD]

I was also still having my own regular cycle through it rather than the breakthrough bleeding you are supposed to have.periods became very prolonged and heavy.
  …….. I would think that this is why you found the added hormones too much.  It is a very thin line between our own hormones doing their 'own thing' and HRT helping as the levels drop off naturally. 

Anyway, i then aquired yet another virus (i rarely do not have some sort of virus)
- this concerns me.  A healthy body does not continue to acquire viruses so your immune system seems low.  Has your GP done the usual blood tests, i.e. iron levels, thyroid function tests ………. because feeling cold can be a sign that the thyroid is out of kilter.  As can a poor diet and depression.  If you are continually cold then consider what clothing you are wearing, it may be sunny out there but I haven't yet settled on how many layers of clothing I need today  - have already added 2 more cardigans and my feet are cold.

Take a list of symptoms to the Cardiologist.  Take a list of questions too!  Keeping a food/mood diary can be useful.  At least you have addressed your diet and cut out alcohol and you will continue to feel the benefits!

[tabbycat3838]

Hi mary jane!well kudos to you coping with all that! you are very brave.
Thats so good you and your girl are back togeather, i also have a good relationship with my girl but we,are so close we have our occasional moments too.. I supose its a kind of grieving process you go through when they go off like that.. Double whammy dealing with coming to the end of your reproductive life at the same time :-(
Lovely you are going to have a grandchild tho, to live vicariously through maybe and then hand back lol.
I still find it shocking that i,ll never have another kid even tho thats absaloutely the last thing on the face of the earth i want!x

[CLKD]

i feel hollow and hopeless at times.circumstances in my life are still very tricky as am waiting for a move date,had to sell house for financial reasons.  …….. is the 'boy' moving with you or is it time that he moved on?  If your son is 'off the rails', is it because he sees the 'boy' as a threat?  What support is your son getting?  Moving is stressful for most people so he may feel that he is being moved against his will ………. is there a Counsellor in School that he could talk issues through with?

it seems the weaker i feel, the more he wants to put the boot in and make life even more,of a struggle.
………. time to take some action here?

i feel ive been a single parent on and off for 23 years and im fed up with it.
  parenting is hard work.  What support do you get from family in general?

Why are you unable to take HRT?  As for anti-depressant medication, modern medicines are unlikely to be addictive!  Some may need weaning off to that the brain does go into panic [as mine did but I survived  ].  Menopause is 'natural' but sometimes the hormone levels need tweaking a bit …….. even to the point of regular exercise, healthy eating, taking 'me' time!

[tabbycat3838]

Thankyou Dg,i love your advice, always very kind and understanding.i am defo leaving the hrt for now and will try the natural aproach for now. You may well be right about too strong. I wont rule it out completely as never say never but for now i,ll leave it, i think its great for alot of women and thats really good,.x

[tabbycat3838]

Hello ckld how,are you,?i hope all is well.
I have had several blood tests that always come back normal i find this completely bizzare.on the one hand reassuring, on the other just weird.
I agree with you, it is not normal to keep being ill, just yesterday i had some other thing that left me sitting on the toilet all day and half the night.
It is constant ckld and has been this way for over 14 months r.i have had about 4 months put of that time all in all without a cold, or flu or sick bug. I can pin point when it started, i had 3 viruses in sucsession when i was working in a care home. (place was filthy)then i had a complete burn out after that and could barely function.then all blood tests were "normal"as usual lol exept for. Fsh of 17.2 was told it was all stress,and meno related.i havnt been right since then x

[CLKD]

>wave< stress can trigger the bowel.  It's the first part of the human body to react  bu..er it  .

Has your GP asked for a pooh sample to be sent to the Lab. in case your bowel is harbouring a 'bug'?  Also, thyroid function tests can be returned 'within normal limits' but the thyroid still needs treatment.  Would an endocrinologist be the dept to go to for further advice - sure someone will be along if that's not right 

Feeling cold constantly ……… awful.  But there is always a reason! Firstly get another layer of clothing on and go for a brisk walk!  Drink plenty of hot fluids.  Porridge (yuk) is slow release so will fuel the body appropriately. It's OK eating but 1 has to eat the 'correct' food stuffs in order to fuel/heat/nourish ! (apparently)

[tabbycat3838]

Ps, we are only moving round the corner, he is fine with it.. We are all stressed waiting for a date.. Yes hes coming and so is my daughter as she cant afford to live on her own, as for going his own way he is only 15 nearly 16 and  refuses to  feed himself anything other than frozen pizza let alone look after himself.he is not uneducated about nutrition, its more a rebellion thing as im always nagging both of them about how important nutrition is.
As for support, ive never had any with my kids... Ever..   my mother died when i was 19 and pregnamt with my daughter, she wouldnt have been any use anyway as we didnt get on.
Daughters dad is dead, sons dads,going the same way, my dad has his own family and lives,a long way away.ive always done everything on my own completely.
Its been a massive struggle x

[tabbycat3838]

Haha i dont know what thay poo thing was! If i juiced something dodgy or what? I was on omeprozole a while ago for. Severe indigestion, gastritis or whatever it was (agony)
Your idea about endo is interesting.. I often wonder about adrenal fatigue, it would make complete sense.
Yes you are right about the thyroid tests but how do you get the gps to do extra tests they dont want to spend momey on?i juat feel like a complete nuisance, i know they are getting complwtely fed up with me
.
I love exersise too but it doent seem to help, infact sometimes makes me feel worse?ive always been very fit and strong, not now.. Its like walking through mud.
Porridge.. That woukd be a form of torture to me but  thankyou ckld x

[Kathleen]

Hello again tabbycat.

I've just been reading through this thread and I can see that you are getting a lot of support from the ladies on the forum. I just wanted to add that although I had no problems with my daughter my son was a nightmare at 15/16. I was regularly called horrible names and he would often slam the same door several times just for effect. Fortunately my meno hadn't started so I was able to count to ten, laugh it off or put it down to hormones ( which of course is true ). I would certainly struggle to tolerate any of that now as I am basically a nervous wreck. I'm telling you this because my son is now 22 and a fine young man (though I say so myself) and we get on well. I heard an endocrinologist say that for young males puberty is a kind of testosterone poisoning and it sends them a bit wild for a time!

I think menopause and teenagers are a volatile mix and we have to ride the hormonal storms as best we can.

Sorry I can't be of more help but I wanted you to know I have some idea of your situation and I'm sure your son will settle  down in time.

Sending hugs and best wishes to you.

K. 

[CLKD]

If you have been a single parent then the children have had no one else to kick against.  You have given them the basis of how to keep well with good nutrition so stop; now; don't nag  - don't give them any excuses to be rude.  New house, new rules  .  Laundry - unless it's in the wash basket, it doesn't get done.  Do you eat at the same time?

Perhaps they would cook once a week either as siblings or one evening each?  That way your son may stop eating pizza …… the appeal may well wane if you aren't mentioning what he ought to be eating  .

[Hurdity]

Hi tabbycat

I'm just catching up too and would like to echo what Kathleen said!  I was relieved to read that your son was only 15/16! Being horrible is so normal!! yes - all that testosterone, hate and rebellion. I've got 3 boys youngest now 21 and they're all lovely and well balanced but some went through difficult times when teenagers. Slamming doors, losing tempers, breaking things. Eldest son would smash things (his own things) in his bedroom eg crash his hand down onto his computer or some other electrical things and they would break - he would have to pay to replace them of course. He was terribly moody and of couse would try things on - swearing, drugs etc. I won't go into everything on here but we had to be really firm. Of course he doesn't really hate you but that's all part of learning to be an individual, and adult and their own person. Just keep the ground rules firm and unfortunately sanctions maybe needed for extreme behaviours - we had to resort to these eg cutting money we gave them, access to cars (when old enough) etc. You wouldn't think so now and they all love coming home.

As the others said you need to concentrate on yourself and explain to him how you feel and ask for his help in understanding. Did I read that you said you do everything for him? If so - definitely time to train him to do stuff for himself especially as he is getting older. Mine would change their own sheets from young age, had them doing their ironing ( or not if they couldn't be bothered) by 16 ( except for their school uniform).  Goes without saying they cleaned and tidied their own rooms ( or not - I wouldn't do it for them when teenagers). When they were younger their pocket money/allowance was dependent on rooms being done as well as weekly and daily chores they shared. eg clearing table, washing up, loading dishwasher + often one other job at weekends I would ask them to do.

re the HRT I would agree with Dancinggirl that it is difficult to get the right balance when you are peri-menopausal and especially when you are still having regular periods. Once you know what your periods are doing maybe you might try again. I had an idea that women in peri with regular periods who are not progesterone intolerant might actually  benefit form ultra low dose Femoston which is a continuous combined HRT - but no-one prescribes this as it's meant for post-meno. My theory would be that it stops the extreme fluctuations and prevents the drop in oestrogen (and the extreme progesterone withdrawal) but would not be so high that you would get severe side effects. Just a thought.

I agree with the others that you should persist in getting checked out as to why you keep getting bugs and are so run down. Sounds like you are doing all the right things re diet and general health. Are you getting plenty of exercise - walking in the fresh air even? Can't remember if you said that or not?

Re the thyroid tests - do you have the actual readings? Some women apparently have normal result but still get symptoms - sub-clinical hypothyroid I think it's called. Might be worth getting consultation from endocrinologuist although not sure if you would get a referral if bloods were normal. Try to find out the readings.

Also sending a hug too  - sounds like you're having a rough time but you'll get through it little by little.

Hurdity x