Thanks everyone, for your support and concern

Mrs January, I will check out the Glasgow Steps website. I have some meditation music on my iphone too, and will take my earphones tomorrow and will hopefully have chance to listen to it.
I haven't taken any valium. I came very close though (yesterday was awful). I think I'm having mood swings... feeling ok for a while, followed by crashing anxiety/depression, mostly brought on by the stress of this operation / Christmas / elderly parent etc. I've had mood swings before but nothing that has come close to this last few weeks.
If I were feeling bad enough, for long enough, then yes, I would take the valium regardless of the operation, as CLKD says. But I also understand the implications, as sweatybet points out. My pre-op nurse was completely happy for me to request the valium (she suggested it) but I noticed my GP (who is usually very sympathetic) was extremely reluctant to prescribe it, despite me being genuinely distraught and crying on the phone to her. I later realised it's because of the legality of signing the consent form. It upsets me to think we live in such a fear-based society that legal issues are thought to be more important than a patient's mental health

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OH is cooking tea tonight, I have my 'jama's on already, and plan to (hopefully) put it all to the back of my mind for the evening. Take care everyone, and thanks again

x