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[Cadi]

Hello all - I came across this site after various google searches. I'm perimenopausal (self-diagnosed but why else would I be so bloody hot all the time at 51!) Like some of the other posters, I've had previous problems with depression and have been prescribed citalopram in the past. I recently had what I thought was a long bout of depression (2-3yrs) possibly brought on by completing a PhD but reading these posts, I think it was also the result of hormonal changes. I'm avoiding anti-depressants as I have some horrible side-effects such as vivid nightmares and some of the research on alternative therapy doesn't give them a great press but it really helps to know I am not alone and that this anxiety is 'free-floating', that it is hovering about waiting to attach itself to various circumstances. In other words, that it is not 'real' (sorry, I'm not sure I'm expressing myself very well) The things that helped for me were being outdoors a lot as I am a keen gardener & allotment holder (I just had the nicest summer) and exercise - I cycle everywhere and nothing burns off that horrible anxious feeling than whizzing about on a bike. I know it won't be everyone's cup of tea but it helps alleviate things a little for me. Unfortunately, it also looks like I am going to have to give up alcohol for a while too and I love a decent glass of wine! But it really isn't worth it at the moment as it makes the insomnia and anxiety ten times worse.
Thanks for letting me ramble and I'm sorry for hijacking this post but it helps to talk to people in similar situations. As my sister says, in school they would take the girls off for the talk about periods but no-one tells you about the changes you go through at this age!

[babyjane]

Hi Cadi, it's good to see you here.  Would you like to make a thread in the New Members bit as your post might get missed in the middle of this one.  Then you will get welcome posts, you might slip through the net otherwise.

Browse round and have fun, it's lovely here. 

[karenja]

same here with the wine I had my first glass in ages the other evening made me feel worst x

[Kas]

Hi girls, haven't been on  here for about a week as things have been going ok, but I had a couple of anxiety attacks Sunday night and Monday morning.I was lucky at the weekend as managed 9 hours sleep frid. and sat. night and woke up with a clear head ( morning headaches are back) so I thought I'd try for an early night Sunday as maybe not enough sleep was causing wake-up headaches, no such luck. Couldn't get to sleep, tossed and turned, then worried that I wouldn't get any sleep at all -panic attack, used the ' see, hear touch' method to break train of thought, which did work eventually Went to bed at 10.15 , fell asleep 1am. Got up and went for my 10 min jog to clear head, but had an anxiety attack just before i was leaving for work, don't know why , which left me on edge and out of sorts all day.
I have to say being perimenopausal sucks.My life has been turned inside out since I had my breakdown at work, my life feels completely different now, I feel different now.
Not sure if anyone else has noticed  but my food tastes have changed too. sweet tooth is much quieter now, in fact its non existant at work, don't have much of an appetite either in general.

sorry went on abit and off topic. 's to everyone
Kas x

[Scampi18]

Hi kas.

My taste buds have also changed, 4 years ago I was a heavy smoker, got up one morning lit up as usual vomited and never smoked since, the smell makes me ill, as it did when I was pregnant all 3 times, that's when the menopause came along with thyroid problems, and wheat intolerance.
I had a very sweet tooth, foods I did not like I do now example celery, Cream cheese, I still like sweets just not as much.
I don't look like me anymore I look like a frightened rabbit with frizzy dry hair, and flushed cheeks.
My weight fluctuates from week to week.
I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.

[Suzyq]

Oh scampi - that made me laugh! I'm sure you don't look like a frightened rabbit!! I know what you mean though, when I see myself in the mirror it's a shock - I look so tired and sort of 'dried out' yuk xx

[Kathleen]

Hello ladies.

Yep agree with most of what has been said.

Cadi - Welcome to the forum. I also think that the anxiety is free floating and attaches itself to events and thoughts.

Scampi18 - I don't think I look like a frightened rabbit ( that made me laugh too ) but I sure as hell feel like one. Oh the joys...

Take care ladies.

K.

[Hurdity]

Cadi -  from me too!

Hurdity x

[karenja]

Anxiety yet again its awful today ((

[CLKD]

It takes over - my whole Life currently is 'can I do that' rather than getting on ……. 

[honeybun]

Just doing things over and over and over makes them easier.

I used to think I had to fight anxiety but it turns out it wins every time. If i just accept it then it gets a little better.
I rarely see the little steps I take forward but those around me do and point them out.

My daughter remarked on recent shopping trips that I could not have done this time last year.
Standing in a very very busy supermarket today hubby asked if it was ok if he went and got a newspaper, that meant me standing on my own. I said yes it was fine and it was. Not that long ago I just could not have done it.

It's tiny baby steps...but all in the right direction .

Don't give up...the more we challenge ourselves over the weeks and months the easier it gets.

Honeyb
x

[Scampi18]

Me too been up since 3 this morning, sobbing so much, went out for a meal last night, I didn't want to go in the first place, but I went along for my husbands sake, felt so hot, sweaty and anxious never ate anything and had to come home.
I want my life back to normal or as near as.
I don't think my body likes hrt, it never works it seems the more ostigel I have the worse the symptoms, I am bleeding again, don't mind that, it's the emotions and the dread and fear of everything, that's making me not want to be here, I feel like such a burden on everyone, I hate me, if it wasn't for my family I would end it today.   

[honeybun]

Scampi

Have you spoken to your GP about this. Maybe some CBT might help.

I find if I have too much oestrogen I get very very jittery and feel sick. It's difficult to get the balance just right.

Hope you start to feel better really soon, but sometimes we all need a bit of help. Speak to your GP.


Honeyb
x

[Rowan]

Totally agree with honeybun, HRT is suppose to make you feel better certainly not worse. Your body is protesting and certainly more hormones can be just as bad as too little.

Scampi18 you must see your GP.

[charliegirl]

Hi there, just wanted to add here, my psychiatrist has given me Seroquel, lowest dose possible for anxiety and it does work. Herbal alternative is Kali Phos , you can take up to six, they are homeopathic remedies. Meditation and yoga is good for calming the mind, concentrating on the breath. There is nothing worse than not sleeping with anxiety 
Hope any of this helps.We are all in this together.