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[babyjane]

I was attracted to the title of this thread and have read it all from start to finish. I don't think I need to make a comment as it has all been said and I would just repeat what others have said.
But I will say thank you for this thread. Reading my own situation over and again in others posts has told me I am not odd, or bad or inherited the mental illness that is on both sides of my family. I am simply a normal, anxious, antisocial, grumpy old (menopausal) woman and things will get better 

[CLKD]

Join the Club then 

[Kathleen]

Hey there, babyjane, we aim to please!


Take care.

K.

[babyjane]

 

[caz24]

I sooo, empathise with everything said on this thread! Mostly I just want to be on my own....and try to engineer my life to give me as many excuses as possible not to join in anything!!!  Also, we have a blended family  and the 'other side' is so needy and possessive, it literally makes me want to scream!😫 Anyone else finding the 'Step-Syndrome' difficult?

Lynjane, I can associate with this totally. I have three step kids, the eldest (a girl, well a young woman) drives me nuts with the possessiveness and yes I know that feeling of wanting to scream. I will come up with excuse after excuse to avoid spending time with her as I know that she will annoy me no end and then I feel bad for feeling like that. I am dreading Christmas this year as we have them with us on Christmas Day and there will be no getting away!!
On the whole I am definitely more anti-social and irritable these days but I will try to avoid situations where I know that I'm going to be irritated before I start. Shame I can't opt out of this one. x

[CLKD]

Carol - sit back and let the step kids be with their Dad?  Prepare as much as you are able for C.mas then interact as little as you have to.  Do they live with you?

[caz24]

CLKD, luckily not. Even saying that makes me feel bad! I have my own kids and am quite a caring, maternal person really.  Two of the step-children are fine, it's just the eldest.
If I don't interact much with her my husband thinks I'm being 'off' even though he knows how difficult she can be. He's a typical male, always trying to find a solution and trying to convince me that it'll be fine even though I know it really won't be and I'll struggle to get through the day without losing it with someone (most likely him). My tolerance levels are really low these days.

[PaulineW]

Really enjoyed reading all the comments I can relate to a lot of them . Keep posting girls wonderful forum  xx

[Rowan]

I have had some of my happiest Christmas's alone, no one to spoil the illusion of Christmas I ate what I wanted, watched what I wanted on TV opened my presents and was happy. I was free to remember how Christmas was when I was a child and relive the magic without cynicism.

Of cause I spoke to all the family on the phone and OH who was not living with me then, but was not lonely at all, just time to recharge the batteries.

[CLKD]

Carol - now is the time to talk over this problem with their father.  Ask him how he has found his daughter in recent years, does he think her mood has improved etc.?  I think actually that it's time he put his Foot Down with a Firm Hand - she is a guest in your home and should not be rude, end of.  Being rude to you is of course being rude to him ………...

[Limpy]

I have three step kids, the eldest (a girl, well a young woman) drives me nuts with the possessiveness and yes I know that feeling of wanting to scream. I will come up with excuse after excuse to avoid spending time with her as I know that she will annoy me no end and then I feel bad for feeling like that. I am dreading Christmas this year as we have them with us on Christmas Day and there will be no getting away!!

Can you set your step daughter to work on Christmas tasks, peeling vegetables, setting the table, type things? Perhaps work with her, if you both have a similar goal things might be easier. Less need to think up conversation topics and useful things being done.

[caz24]

Thanks CLKD and Limpy for your replies. I agree that my husband needs to be firm and put his foot down and we do argue about that from time to time. I just feel like I'm fighting a losing battle with that one. I think that trying to involve my step-daughter is worth a try, if she's not too 'tired' lol it could work.
Thanks again x

[Limpy]

Aha - If you pulls the "too tired" one, make sure your husband hears.

Then suggest she;
a) goes to sit down, well she is tired......
or
b) ------ off and stop cluttering the place up
Select as appropriate.

Hopefully she will want to help.