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[Fullmoon]

I am posting this because last week I was discharged from the menopause clinic - after four years and a five year battle before that to get there.  I think I will be taking HRT for the rest of my life (the clinic told me they had ladies over 70 still on it) and I am in a different place now to the one I was in when I first went there.  I used to be a very regular reader and sometimes contributor to this forum - but haven't been here a while (and forgotten my log-in details) - and when I was I always longed to hear from someone who had been through this and could reassure me that I was not stuck in the awful place that I was in and things could and would improve.  So for all of you who might be reading this who are close to despair - hang on to the belief that it will pass.  You will find solid ground again and be more balanced.  I don't think I will ever be totally symptom free - but I have learned to live with the fact that you don't 'get through' menopause - you adapt.  This became my philosophy over the years of struggle with symptoms:

1) This is part of life's journey, not an event.  My younger, fertile self is behind me.  This journey won't take me back there.
2)Nothing lasts for ever - neither the lows nor the highs.  Go with the lows, accepting they will pass and enjoy the highs.  Every day is a gift.
3)HRT is not a magic bullet - but it can and does help.  It won't make you 35 again  but it can help you get back in balance and even out the highs and the lows
4)Inform yourself about HRT before seeing your GP.  Ask questions.  Don't be fobbed off.  If what you are given doesn't feel right after a few weeks, go back and ask for further advice.  If your GP doesn't seem informed - or is anti- change - that is your right.  Ask to be referred to a menopause clinic.
5)Don't compare yourself with others.  You are doing just fine.  Everyone's journey is different.  There is an immutable law which says that when you are feeling low everyone around you seems happy and well-balanced.  Don't compare!
6) First-aid kit: deep breathing; Rescue Remedy; dried fruit and nuts
7) Don't stress about sleep - on sleepless night enjoy the peace in the house - meditate, do yoga or just lie there and enjoy being allowed to do nothing.
 

It does get better.

[minkusmum]

 

[Hurdity]

Hi Fullmoon

Welcome back!  Maybe we have spoken in the past.... What an amazing post! You express it so simply and clearly. I am sure it will give comfort and hope to others.

Hurdity  x

[Ju Ju]

Thank you for your positive, well-balance post. Ju Ju xx

[thorntrees]

Thank you for your post Fullmoon.
Its so good to hear from someone who can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I think your point about accepting the changes that occur in the menopause is very important, it has taken me quite some time to come to terms with this phase of my life and its still a struggle at times-but 'little steps'.
Wishing you well and thanks again for your encouraging post
Thorntrees.☺

[meno lesley]

Thank you for your post, it has helped me and given me hope.

Lesley x

[Dancinggirl]

Hi Fullmoon
What a wise and positive post.
I know a lady in her 80s who is still on HRT - she is amazing.
After a premature meno in my mid 30s, so on HRT for most of the last 20 years, I am now off full HRT for a break(9 months now!!) but using local oestrogen for VA and bladder issues.  Actually feeling ok apart from poor sleep - the flushes aren't too terrible at the moment.
Oh boy! do GPs need some serious training where the menopause is concerned.
I think you hit the nail on the head on many levels with your post - I'm afraid so many ladies who visit this site expect HRT to cure everything - I always say it can help but there will be compromises. You are so right when you say one has to move forward with a new view on life - not live in the past.
I'm going to bed tonight with your 'Note No. 7' very firmly in my mind.  Thank you.
DG x

[Ju Ju]

Thank you for number 7! Having a sleepless night now. I should be getting up early for a day in London, but not sure I'm up for it. We'll see.

[Dippie]

Thank you!

As far as being on HRT for the rest of your life, some doctors here (We call it "Appalachia West" and only begrudgingly admit that we pay federal income taxes to Mr. Obama) will prescribe antidepressants instead of HRT and those usually need to be taken for life too.

My father will never be able to live without his insulin, nor my mother without her anti cancer drugs.

I hope that helps you feel better about your situation because you sure helped me feel better about mine.

:D

[Kathleen]

Hello Fullmoon and thank you so much for your informative and uplifting post.
I'm one of the women going through a rough time at the moment and it's so good to hear that things do get better. You've given us the hope we need to carry on.

Thank you for taking the time to write your message and well done for realising how much difference your story can make to those in the midst of meno hell.
I wish you continued good health. Take care.

K.

[Linsey44]

Thank you Fullmoon, your post is thought provoking and inspiring.
X

[dulciana]

Fullmoon, your hints are so helpful.  Thank you.  And it's reassuring to hear that there's light at the end of the tunnel.  However, I can't find sleepless nights anything other than stressful if I've got work commitments the next day, because they make me feel wiped and wreck my performance.   

[CLKD]

Give us a clue, who were U B 4 ? 

Such a reassuring post  :thank you: …….

[Taz2]

Thanks Fullmoon - great post.

I am heartened that you are still on HRT as my menopause clinic withdrew mine because I was reaching the age of 60. I am going to see my GP in a few weeks to try to persuade her to restart me on it as it is difficult to work while feeling like this and I have five more years to do before I can retire.

Onwards and upwards!

Taz x 

[2cats]

Thanks for your post Fullmoon -it's just what I needed to read this morning as I am in a trough again after having been fairly balanced for quite a time.....You're so right in saying how everyone else seems so happy and fulfilled when we're not feeling that way!

Having peaked and troughed several times now, it's tough feeling yourself altering again to a place you don't want to be.....feeling glum with absolutely no reason to be that way.

This is when I have to busy myself doing things to take my mind away from feeling sad.  Like you say, it's no good hankering after a time when I wasn't like this...just got to keep going till this phase passes again.

Thank goodness for Menopause Matters where I can find help and support whenever I need it.  Thank you ladies. xx