Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[CLKD]

"should be"  ……….. shall we start knitting 

[Patientone]

OMG CLKD !!!   

[honeybun]

I used a cap for years, not exactly spontaneous but it worked as I never got on with the pill.
After our daughter was born hubby had the snip. So much easier for a man and my hubby is not squeamish about things. It was great. No worries and no thought of pregnancy. It worked for us and I don't know why more men enough don't do it.


Honeyb
x

[CLKD]

Mine told me he would be promiscuous  so I was 'done'.

[honeybun]

Fortunately my hubby was more enlightened and volunteered to have the snip.
Why should women always have to be the ones to take care of birth control. It's such a small procedure for a man.

Hopefully younger men might view these things differently and when their time comes will do the right thing.


Honeyb
x

[Taz2]

I'm afraid that I disagree that the man should always be the one to be sterilised. This has happened as I've grown older though and have seen friends go through marriage break ups and, sadly, deaths of spouses so that remarriage is a common happenig. A woman often wont want children as she reaches her late forties but a man, should he fall in love with a younger woman, quite often will want a new family with his new wife even though he is in his fifties or even older. Good news is that I have three male friends who have all had successful vasectomy reversals following divorce (2) or death of a much loved wife (1) but it was quite an intricate process.

I'm not knocking men taking responsibility for birth control but it does seem that men can father children well into older age whereas women reach an age when they definitely don't want to go down the pregnancy route even when newly in love so it makes more sense for a woman to be sterilised - although this is based on practicality rather than emotional issues.

Taz x

[honeybun]

I don't think it should always be the man but it should always be considered. I do know that marriages break up but to look at a partner and consider you may or may not be with them years down the line is really a bit sad.

Honeyb
x

[Taz2]

I suppose it does sound a bit sad but also it's realistic as no matter what happens a woman is not in the same position to carry on producing children as a man and, unfortunately, bad things do happen to relationships and to people healthwise so it may not be good emotionally to look at it like this but it is good in a practical sense.

Taz x

[Morwenna]

I agree Taz.

I stopped using contraception eight years ago at the age of 46 after one or two 'slip ups'. Following appointments with a GP for emergency contraception twice in succession - she said if I was consulting her with a view to wanting to become pregnant then she would have to advise the chances of it happening were 'highly unlikely'. I had a gut feeling she was right.

Not something I would advocate however! I do realise it occasionally happens and had it done so would have been catastrophic for me - the oldest woman to conceive naturally (according to Wikipaedia) being 59 at the time! 

[Patientone]

 After our second son was born (he's 20), my husband went to a urologist to talk about having a vasectomy. After that visit, he came home white as a ghost. The Dr told him there is a slight increased risk of prostate cancer after vasectomy. That scared him out of getting it done.

I was irritated with him over it but in the end thought, I can't tell him what to do with his body any more then he can tell e what to do with mine. It was never talked about again.

So all these years we've followed sort of a natural family planning by me charting my periods on a calendar, thankfully I was very regular and this worked for us for many years.

Once I started skipping periods, then it got really tricky and annoying. It's really caused me to stay away from him more then what's fair. :-(

It's been a source of friction in our relationship as you could imagine.

Now, I'm having some trouble letting go, am I really here ? really not able to get pregnant anymore?

The fear of getting pregnant is so engrained in me, I wonder if I'll be able to relax and just start enjoying my relationship with my husband again.

[Taz2]

You need to give it a go - it will be great for both of you now that you know you can't get pregnant. If you were still having regular periods then there would be a very small chance of pregnancy but you haven't had a period for over a year so are post menopausal.

Taz x 

[Limpy]

Patient one I had an absolute terror of getting pregnant. Like you, it caused friction in my relationship. Doubly so, because I had had to stop taking the pill at 54 and we had never used anything else. I couldn't  use the cap as my fingers are numb and can't feel anything. He wasn't happy with condoms - too small apparently 

Long story short, my FSH was high over 6 months also I hadn't had a period since stopping the pill so thought sod it and went for it, the chances of pregnancy are miniscule. Having said that, I did do regular pregnancy tests for the first year. There would have been no way I/we could have dealt with a baby, I would have had an abortion.

[Patientone]

Thank you for sharing your stories 

I am going to continue charting my basal temperatures, the low temps assure me that I am not ovulating.

I think the thing that is sticking with me is that I have heard from SO many women that their Drs tell them, 1 full year with NO bleeding whatsoever - not a drop.

I had bleeding through 2013, but it was spotting, annoying and long (7 weeks). I had no detected ovulation on either of the 2 charts I am using, and after much testing my dr said that it was from the fibroids.

I asked if I should have another FSH test, my dr said there is no need.

[CLKD]

FSH can be unreliable 

[Patientone]

Yes, I know, I was just asking my dr for extra reassurance.

Right now, the most relaible thing is my temperature charts. Not usre if any of you tried charting your BBT but it is quite fascinating how accurate it is.