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[Ju Ju]

Yes, really helped me too. Understanding that I did not cause other people's bad behaviour was a big step forward. Upstanding the background behind someone's bad behaviour helped as well. It doesn't excuse it, but knowing it was never about me was a relief.

[CLKD]

……. the more I see of my Mother the more I realise that I wasn't to blame though I might have been 'the cause' 

[Ju Ju]

Never the cause. Someone who is in a good 'place' will never abuse another person, whatever the provocation.

[CLKD]

She was expecting me when she married Dad  - apparently ……..

[Limpy]

CLKD that is not your fault

[CLKD]

Nope - but it was the basis of their problems    ………..

[honeybun]

No excuse, they could have separated but they went onto have another child.

My family history is messy and complicated as is hubbies. I had a good childhood but he always felt that by the time his mother had him she had had enough of children. Unforgivable in my book. Children do not choose to be brought into the world and no matter the problems that adults have they owe the child the best they can give.


Honeyb
x

[CLKD]

She waited 5 years until the next one   

[Limpy]

The trouble is HB when people are miserable they don't behave as they should.

My mum  and dad separated in 1968 before it was "usual", I think my mum felt it was for the "best". I was 11 my brother was 8, he never settled down I became too cynical too young.
She felt it was the best thing to do........

[Ju Ju]

The best gift a parent can give a child is unconditional love.

Most people experience conditional love, for example, "I will love you if you behave the way I want you to, do well at school etc.", leaving the child feeling not good enough or worthy. These feelings can be life long.

If you love a child unconditionally, you love them and respect them just for being. They grow up happy to be themselves, confident to make their own choices in life.

Unfortunately it is difficult to love unconditionally if you haven't experienced it yourself or are aware of what it means. I didn't experience unconditional love as a child, but was determined my children would not grow up feeling as I did. I wasn't perfect and pmt certainly got in the way, but both children are happy, with wonderful partners. I think I did something right, with the help of my husband.