I have several friends who’s partners have died. Bereavement is not something you recover from. With time, hopefully, you work round it, accommodate it and live with it. It becomes less all consuming. But you are not just grieving for the loss of a partner, but the loss of who you were with that person and of a way of life and for some, the difficulties of financial issues. The loss of confidence can be overwhelming. Asking for help is difficult whether practically or emotionally. In my choir, we have several bereaved ladies. They have supported each other, as well as support from the rest of us. Lockdown was horrendous for them. We organised regular zoom calls and phoned each other. I always check whether one friend is ok at Christmas and whether she would welcome to come and be with us. No pressure. She has no close family. Definitely reaching out to others helps, joining groups and discovering new interests. It’s never too late to pursue something new, learn to play an instrument, sing, paint, study, whatever floats your boat. But only when you feel ready.
