Dear Groundhog,
I have been following your posts and have a few thoughts.
You are the most important person in this situation. You have done your research. You have most of the information that is known to help in your decision making. I suggest you have a session with either a good councillor or life coach. They will not advice you, but have skills to help you clarify your thoughts.
As to your family. Family dynamics can be very complicated. We all have a part to play. Are you really indispensable? Would things really fall apart? This may the opportunity for others to be forced to step into the breach, when you cannot. Is there a part of you that feels it needs to be in control? The fear of losing independence? Maybe being forced to take a step back, let go will be good for you? Good for your family?
To be able to look after your family, you have to look after yourself first. Think of the safety instructions given on aeroplanes. Put your oxygen mask on first, before helping others.
The other thought I had was that if you decided not to go ahead, and then you became ill, how would your family feel if they realised that you hadn't gone ahead because of your family situation? Would that be fair to them?
I write this as I have been forced to take a backward step in life for the past few months. I know my circumstances are different, but it has allowed my family to step up and for me to let go. I am learning that it doesn't matter that the house is untidy and my husband is learning how to use the vacumn cleaner, use the washing machine and cook for me!
I wish you all the best, Ju Juxx