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[CLKD]

   I used to keep going when we had to visit relatives etc..  However ill I felt they had their presents and cards on time but I had to wait for my birthday present  ....... being near C.mas.  It gave them 3 extra days to shop but hey, it doesn't suddenly happen so one year I didn't open the parcel  .  I told them quietly that we were there (C.mas Day) "to celebrate someone else's birthday apparently and mine was 5 days ago".   They got the hint ........... I was raised to 'be grateful for small mercies' and 'it's the thought that counts' and for years I struggled: they had gone to the bother of buying a present and card so I should be grateful: then that particular year, something snapped    - and that was way before meno symptoms crept in 

[mags]

Good for you CLKD, what date is your birthday?   

[CLKD]

Oh - about 5 days before C.mas 

So I could never enjoy my birthday because C.mas was looming - having to visit relatives, the journey in potentially bad weather, trying to sleep ina different bed  ......... for over 30 years  .......... we had a few years break when mother took up with another man but he died 12 months ago so last year the whole issue began again.

I worked out that we got into and out of our car at least a dozen times on C.mas day  - whilst they all stayed in their warm houses 

[mags]

You must hate Christmas with all that extra hassle- I think you should put your foot down and say no more

[CLKD]

I did - for 4 years.  But Mum is on her own and although she would say 'don't worry about me', well I couldn't not go.  Which means having to visit members of his family too 

[mags]

Oh  dear, that's quite a tricky one - could you not just go and see your mum and not  bother with all the other relatives, or would that be impossible

[CLKD]

Not possible .... but at least they cook some of the meals whilst we are there