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[Taz2]

Wish we could eat when we wanted while at work!

Taz x

[JJ]

Mags, you did well going to the shops. It's perfectly natural and expected to feel overwhelmed looking at all the christmas stuff, we are women, and what does christmas pose for us ? More work and stress, don't get me wrong I love it when it's here but the build up is busy, lots to remember etc. if you felt 100% , I'm sure you'd feel a bit stressed, if you are suffering from anxiety and depression it can feel overwhelming.

If you had for eg, glandular fever, christmas would be really difficult, so think of it like that. You'll have to delegate, let christmas come, do what you feel up to, and if you want to rest in your bedroom then do and don't beat yourself up about it.

If you have a good hubby, make some lists , ask for help and shop on line for groceries, presents etc. make it as easy as you possible can for yourself, and if you don't feel like doing something, don't do it, wait till you feel a bit better, which you WILL. The anxiety will wax and wane, pace yourself for now, and try to eat little and often, I promise you this helps x

[bev567901]

JJ I agree totally it is 'our' job. It does stress us out even when we feel fine. Things that should be nice like visiting people with presents pre Christmas are such a rush & a chore as we are so busy & then finally we can sit down on Christmas Day only we can't because of all the cooking!!  I had made a decision not to do that stupid lunch this year anyway, I have been threatening for years but last year I meant it. I even took a picture of my cooker post cooking in case I waivered. I got so sick of people just eating then leaving the table; plate still there & basically leaving me to the clear up which is finished for when they are hungry again    I am going to buy lots of M & S stuff & do as little cooking as possible but we shall still eat well. My eldest can't bear the thought of no proper roast lunch so she is going to cook her own at her house & the youngest two will be glad not to have to eat it & will enjoy having Mum to play lego with. My husband will be the one at M & S this year at midnight waiting for it to open after re stocking  with all the other hardy souls. It is the year of delegation I think & no guilt. Can you imagine sitting down to watch a WHOLE film!  Its time to treat it differently & you know what everyone might enjoy it more in the long run xx 

[mags]

Hi JJ, and thanks for the great advice.  It's the total lack of interest and  enjoyment and dread about everything which is really getting to me-  also the terrible lowness,  I have decided that if I am not feeling well  at  Christmas then I will stay in bed if necessary and not beat myself  up about it- My hubby is  very good and will cook when I don't feel up to it.  My therapist said that I am in a deep depression and so I have to remind myself of that and treat it as an illness, as you said  if it was glandular fever I would find it difficult.
Had a bad day yest- very anxious and didn't do much at all-  I am trying to eat little and often and  trying to be positive,   Hope you are still feeling well-Love Mags

[mags]

Hi Bev, I do think that my system is in confusion, I just wish it would sort itself out soon.  Patience is required  for the meds but it isn't easy as we know.
I think your Christmas idea is brilliant- make sure that you don't waver and stick to it  My children all love their traditional Christmas dinner so  I  think hubby is going to be cooking if I can't   Hoping you have a good day today, Love Magsxx

[JJ]

Mags and bev, have a restful, feet up Saturday x

[bev567901]

JJ not a chance!  8 & 9 year old doing the usual fighting   I will leave it to Mags to have a rest today. Husband has gone food shopping, he says he may be a while due to what was occuring as he left   I think what is out there with people going mad getting in Christmas mode will drive him home xx

[CLKD]

Taz - you can.  There are no rules and regulations laid down when people are allowed/not to eat unless working in clean rooms or with difficult machinary.  When I was a medical secretary I had pockets full of biscuits and sweets 

[bev567901]

Feeling so peed off I just got my blood results by the back door method (naughty I know but don't care I am too cross.)  I know they can be so unreliable but don't think my GP is going to give me any HRT again as I think the figures that should be high are low & those that are low should be high.
Oestradiol 569  Prolactin 177 FSH 2.6  LH 2.0

In Sept
Oestradiol 290 Prolactin ?      FSH 1.6  LH<0.5

I am blummin 51 yrs in a few days its not like I am 30 yrs saying I am in peri. So frustrating. Feel like I have a sticking plaster for a broken leg with the AD. Don't get angry very often its not in my nature. So its private treatment which isn't possible as I haven't worked for months or order off the internet. What will be really annoying is when I ring for my blood test results on Monday the GP receptionist will say they haven't received them yet!!!!  Happened last time Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[mags]

Bev- well done for getting yourself those results,  but I understand how annoyed you must feel.  Do you really not think you will get the HRT with your age and symptoms?    Or  could you possibly see another GP?    I  am not really well up on HRT, but I do know that the one I tried didn't lessen my symptoms at all- I was on  a conti one for post meno.    You could always  phone or E-mail Dr Currie for some advice, I have done that before and found her very helpful, it costs about £15  I think. 
Hrt isn't always the cure for some people-including me,  I  wonder if maybe increasing your sertraline dose maybe something to consider,  I do know that when I first tried Prozac it  really  did help the symptoms- but I made the mistake of coming off it too soon and when I went back on it didn't  work as well.
I know that you are still having a bad time with periods and can understand why you want HRT - another thought  is, could you ask to be referred to a gynae at the hospital, I had to do that when I started bleeding after 18  months of no periods- they might be able to give you  what you want and should be more knowledgeable than a GP.   Sorry I can't be of more help and hope you can get sorted soon- Love Magsxx

[bev567901]

Thanks Mags I am thinking of maybe asking for birth control pills if they won't give me HRT. I will see what happens when I ring for the results in case the doctor does want to speak to me but I bet its a no action answer from the receptionist.
At the end of the day I should realise I am on my own here & until this year I never bothered with the GP's as have found them so useless in the past.  Its up to me to get better myself I guess & maybe HRT might not have worked anyway. Last time I got bad test results I went really downhill as basically they where saying there is nothing wrong with me which is so frustrating. I shan't do the same again.
How are things with you today?  xxxx

[mags]

Hi Bev, maybe a birth control would be a better option for you.  We shouldn't be left to deal with this on our own, I just don't know why so many GP'S  are very dismissive when it comes to menopause.  I can remember one very arrogant GP who I went to see when I first started peri laughing at me when I told him I was feeling depressed and anxious,  needless to say I changed  to a different practice after that
I am not feeling great at the minute- very low and anxious at the thought  of not being able to cope with Christmas, also nervous about what the GP will do on Tues about the sertraline, I really thought that after four weeks on 100 I would have noticed a bigger improvement.  Hope you get some  help from the receptionist tomorrow and don't get too downhearted-Love Magsxx

[bev567901]

Sorry you are feeling low Mags. I think the GP will notice an improvement in you & tell you to carry on as it is so slow in acting. May even increase it possibly as you don't seem to have had the awful side effects. You can go up to 200mg. Its still early days for you.  It doesn't help that today is 1st December does it, I would normally be getting the decorations up! Bahhhh humbug.  Tuesday will be horrid because of the GP appt but I bet you feel better after going & come home with a plan.

I just googled birth contol pils re meno & did you know you can buy them from Superdrug online chemist. Also Lloyds pharmacy does online BCP & HRT!  Its not like you are buying from Thailand. I had no idea. Not sure how safe it is re blood pressure checks etc but nice to know if I get desperate I can always threaten the GP!

This hormone lark stinks doesn't it. Is your CBT on Wednesday this week?  I think if you get this week out of the way & with the GP & CBT you may have more to feel good about. It will be interesting to see what they both say. xxxx

[mags]

Hi Bev,   thanks, hopefully I will feel better after seeing the GP.  My CBT is on thurs this week as the therapist was booked up on wed.
No it doesn't help being the start of Dec, I am sure my daughter who is still at home will be wanting to put the tree up soon     I didn't know  that Birth control pills are available from superdrug and   Lloyds,  that's good isn't it as you can always give them a try.   I think these hormones are a complete bum! You wouldn't think they could cause so much havoc  and distress to us women, I suppose that we should be grateful that we don't live in Victorian times as we would most likely have been locked away then in a sanatorium for being mentally unstable and left there   There used to be a mental hospital here which closed down a few years ago and  there were elderly patients in there who had been sent there for similar things from quite a young age- I would imagine too that some had conditions like ocd etc that weren't recognized then. It's quite horrific really!    Anyway, on a lighter note, hope you have had a bit of a better day apart from the test results,  when is your birthday by the way?    Love Magsxx

[bev567901]

I have told everyone I want to have a huge clean & do the windows etc before we put up the decs. Hate the fact you can't clean around things so easily. I guess next weekend will be the putting up time. The advent calendars where a great excitement today they have lego ones & chocolate ones not like my day where we had a picture to open   
I have been to my daughters this morning as she has two dachshunds & one has reached the right time & age to be mated today. Dexter is tired tonight! I shall be helping her out obviously but I don't think she fully understands the concept of how hard it is going to be as she moved out 7 yrs ago when she went to Uni so only sees the nice bits. She has everything ready, her boyfriend & I are dreading when she gets pregnant herself she will have the nursery ready before the pregnancy test is dry!! It is going to be a long 63 days for me she will be the most nervy Dexter client to date.
I have really bad period pains today so think I have an early one coming again. I have started to use the painkillers the doctor gave me last month though but hate taking anything on an empty stomach so they wear off.  I didn't take them last month as I was still on the diazepam but now the dose is so small I feel ok to take them. Silly really but it was the same with the wine I didn't want to overdo things. I would never make a very good addict at anything!!!
So on that note pour yourself a glass & sit. Not sure if there is anything on the tv worth watching but its worth a try. And next week will go so fast with Tuesday & Thursday being busy & then maybe the week after you can contemplate a bit of Christmas. Your Alter ego will have her eyes open in the next few days, I shall have to watch you with the Christmas tree before long. I have bought a very expensive room dividing thing but not put it up yet to try. You need to get nice & chubby so you cannot sneek through it so eat up xx