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[mags]

Hi Bev-You're right there- that's a side effect I could gladly put up with- as you said , when you feel like we do  that's the last thing you would be thinking of! Hope you are still feeling better

[bev567901]

Men are wired differently aren't they & I guess we have forgotten what it is like to be say 20 which is sadly such a young age to be taking an AD.  Think it is day 3 of feeling brighter, don't want to jinx it though. Dreaded homework to do though although our school has changed the whole homework system & its much easier now & less tantrums. I got a homework certificate for something I did last term (ahem!!!!!) of course my daughter did it all      How are you today & remind me of what day/week you are on now with the sertraline. Also have you noticed that you have had different manufacturers tablets, sometimes it says lustral sometimes zoloft or sertraline. I am trying to stick to the same one I was given to start with . My pharamacist says it is all the same but if you look online people do not agree.  Bev x   

[Taz2]

Well done on the homework certificate Bev but on a serious note if your daughter is struggling to the extent that you have to do her homework for her you should mention this to the school as it's not really helping her and will give the teachers a false view of her abilities. I've seen it happen time and time again in all the schools I've worked in.

I'm glad you are feeling brighter 

Taz x 

[mags]

Hi Bev and so glad you are feeling brighter again-I am on day 2 of 100mgs and going into week five of sertraline-both boxes I have had so far say Sertrlaine on them- am feeling slightly calmer today but still don't want to get up or do anything- did you find that you felt like that and lost all interest in things? That's how I am and it really worries me-yest I tried to read a book and  looked up trivial things on google but it didn't help, then I got myself in a state because I took a second diazepam and it didn't seem to help-my mind just goes into overdrive and I think all is lost.  I have had the constant anxiety and depression for most of this year and the last three months have been especially bad-so that gets me down- previously it would be on and off- linked up with my cycle probably, so at least I got some respite then.  I remember the homework Lark well- MY hubby always had to help with the maths as I am useless at it and I did the more creative subjects like art and English! Well done with getting the certificate and thanks again for all your support- you have been wonderful :

[bev567901]

Taz don't worry she isn't struggling it was me that was. We used to get homework out of the way so we could have a nice weekend but with me being like this standards have dropped a little but we are back on track. Its little things like they would have every single bit of school uniform clean on every single day but now if the trousers or skirts look fine they can do another day. We where just in a rush to finish so I helped a bit more than normal.  She is a clever little thing, we where going to keep her back a year because of her heart problems & being prem they said we could do that, it would have meant she would be in the same year as her brother 9 months younger but we took a risk. Its paid off. I think because she stayed home until her big op just before she started pre school she benefited from all the reading & educational stuff I did at home as we couldn't really go out much or mix.
I didn't know you worked in schools, you must have some funny tales. My best one was when Ella came out of Yr1 class to say she had been learning about Henry vill. It took me a while to realise she meant Henry VIII. 

[bev567901]

Mags I can relate to all of that even to it being a bad year but the last few months the worst which is a strange coincidence. I am normally super woman always on the go always planning what to do. If its been the school hols or I have been busy working & need to catch up I just get on with it as soon as I can. I have high standards but this has all gone BUT I am thinking about things that need doing & its now not quite so overwhelming. I haven't done them yet though. I do waste a lot of time but I am thinking well I am poorly so that is fine & I am not actually wasting my time. Its horrible when you can't even sit to watch a film with the kids. All my Summer plants in pots have died, I have a huge garden but I haven't even been out to survey it. It isn't bothering me at all.  Just one day at a time & I bet this time next week on the new dose your mind will be calming down a bit. I think its going to be months before we can say we feel really better but I guess better to be slow & good than a quick fix that doesn't last. Bev x

[CLKD]

The active ingredient in medication will be the same doesn't matter which Company sells it.  One Company does the Research then when the Licence runs out, the product if useful gets bought by others 

[mags]

Thanks Bev- I too used to be like you ,always on the go and doing everything  but now am a totally different person .  I am fortunate in not having small children to look after-that must be difficult for y ou especially your daughter being poorly. My hubby normally sorts out the garden and I do bits in it so it's not to bad.   My eldest daughter who still lives at home is decorating her bedroom  at the mo -with the help of my hubby but I can't get interested  in that so feel bad. Just had a little doze before but woke in a blind panic the same  as I always do in the mornings- I really hate that feeling-do you still have that? Thanks for all your positive replies and hope you continue to improve-Love Magsxx

[CLKD]

If your husband and daughter are having some 'together' time painting her room, try to stop worrying.  Unless there are shouts of rage and frustration take some time out for you  the sudden wakening could be low blood sugar  AWFUL feelings 

[mags]

Thanksfor that CLKDXX

[bev567901]

Don't feel guilty my husband has done things he has never done before for me or the family. All credit to you for coping with decorating going on at the mo, I wouldn't like that disruption currently. They are probably having a great time doing it their way, don't feel guilty its a rest for you. It is strange to loose our interest in things but I know people who have never had that interest in the first place. It will return I find myself singing along to the radio or having a little dance like normal. My husband is a naturally miserable person, has been all his life. I am the opposite. He copes well in a crisis but has black moods. It has helped me understand how he must feel sometimes.  I have more empathy for anyone really it has taught me a lot & not to be so judgemental in future.  I do have that wake up thing too, its horrible I wake up gasping sometimes in the night & in blind panic. Sometimes if I nap in the day when the kids are at school I get this sleep paralysis thing where you are awake in your head but cannot move. You feel like someone is in the room or sat on you. It started years ago nothing to do with the meno, its always in daytime sleep though. I googled & its quite common if you are stressed.
Hope they have chosen a nice colour for the bedroom btw.........black?

[mags]

Hi  Bev- you must be sick of  hearing about all my problems-thanks for being so patient!  The actual decorating doesn't really  bother me but last weekend hubby was putting a laminate wood floor down  and the constant banging  and sawing was getting to me- I made a mistake in saying it's my eldest daughter, I meant my youngest- my eldest is married with a little boy-Alexander who is nearly three-I have two boys as well who have left home now and Lucy is the baby of the family-she's 23 with no intention of leaving home  Her room which was vivid pink before is now one wall duck egg blue above the wardrobes , a feature wall with a duck egg and beige swirly pattern wallpaper and the rest beige- so it's much more restful on the eye now- she's well known in the family for liking bright colours- when we had the kitchen done last year, she wanted me to choose  some hideous pink work tops but I said no and went for black granite instead which she thinks is boring! I always used to have the sleep paralysis thing and it is truly scary- I was convinced for years  that the house was haunted  as I used to see a  dark figure looming over me when I was in that state between sleeping and waking- I would try to  scream but couldn't-it often used to happen just before having a period- it was only when I  happened to read an article about it in a  magazine that I realized what it was. My husband is a very upbeat kind of person as I used to be- but he does get  depressed when I am like this. The  waking up thing is awful and wonder  with me if it is some kind of automatic response.xx

[bev567901]

Dont be silly!!  Just before I went loco I was about to have a new kitchen worktop but I cancelled. My washer is performing badly I pay every month for a plan & I just don't want anyone here messing about. Laminate floor would have been too much for me all that noise & dust!
Your daughter has chosen well, my eldest is 24 & went through that barbie pink faze but now she lives with her boyfriend  black & red seem to be in fashion       My whole house is white with a bit of green apart from the kids bedrooms. I have five dogs & with the kids it takes some cleaning but I love the light & glass roofs. Its lovely to go away to an old cottage on holiday with a real fire but I really like big open spaces & daylight. 
Your husband sounds amazing, mine although he has helped out with the kids n shopping is taking the opportunity of no nagging wife & is doing a lot of sitting no man tasks have been done for a while. I don't care at all. I wonder what is planned for next weekend? Hopefully not your bedroom he will have to evict you! xx

[mags]

Thanks Bev- my house is mainly beige with a feature wall of large  brown  flowers on a beige back ground from B&Q in the living room and same in dining room- we redecorated about five years ago. It's a pity you had to cancel the worktop-I only coped with having mine done as hubby did most of it- when we had the bathroom done and I was feeling rough my hubby had to take time off work to deal with the plumber!  You must have your hands full with such a houseful- especially five dogs! As far as I know the next weekend plan is moving hubby's office( he's a home based chartered surveyor) into one of the spare bedrooms now the boys have moved out- he is currently using the back of the garage as an office space which isn't ideal! I know  hubby is amazing but at least yours is doing the shopping and looking after the Kids.  :)XX

[bev567901]

Ha ha he already has his next job planned. It must be helpful to have him at home. Maybe you will feel up to helping next weekend to try & get him to throw out all that stuff men accumulate. He sounds absolutely perfect & very caring.
My dogs are my job I have a top stud (Dexter) who is much in demand but I have turned down so much work recently. Dec as in Ant & Dec has a Dexter baby. He is too good at his job is Dexter.  I don't have very many litters myself as I am very careful but I have a girl due around 20 Nov. She is my best girl & all her pups are already sold. I didn't even mate her I was just going to have to say to everyone sorry because I was feeling poorly I didn't think it was a responsible thing to do. But my daughter babysat when we went to the docs & 'it' happened with much shrieking down the phone from her & my 9 year old telling her what to do!  I am not sure if it is going to overwhelm me or not time will tell. I do things so properly, too well really & it is a very busy time & once they get past the 4 week stage it is hard. It's hard to feel down though when you see 8 week old pups playing with the other dogs & doing funny things but the sleep deprevation is hard. I guess that is normal now for me having slept like a log to the extent when I had a litter in the past I used to put my alarm on every hour to check on room temp etc & get straight back off.
The past seems such a long time ago but it isn't even a year & the really bad bits where not until September barely 2 months but it seems so long.  Maybe we have to accept we will never sleep well again I know my mum hasn't since her hysterectomy over 30 yrs ago. Maybe it is accepting things that is the key. Maybe if we don't fight the stress or whatever thing it is & say well this is fine it might help. The kids have been a bit naughty this afternoon & it used to wash over me but I got a bit panicky, dry mouth & not able to swallow etc.  I shall put this to the test in a bit when kids bedtime is looming & all the nonsense starts & let you know, then again at 10 when I know a little boy will still be awake....and maybe even at 11 too. B x