Thank you ju ju and Rose! Because I have been able to talk through so many emotions right now on this website, I have found an interesting side of me that I didn't know I could do. I was able to write a letter of my emotions and feelings today without being judgmental and angry. I was able to put things into perspective as how I saw them. Here is the interesting part.....After reading what I wrote in my letter, I took a long pause and thought about what I was saying. I realized that my perceptions were caught between reality and illusion. My illusion that my partner was out just having a grand ole time without a care for my feelings and emotions were probably just that. So I had to give full consideration to this thinking process for my own behalf.
I gave credit to this thinking in my letter, which resulted exactly as I had thought, there was something else going on that I did not see. My partner allowed a 2 week time period to be without restraints and limitations as I had been the focus for the past 2 years. Which is right, I was, I cannot deny this. For what I was viewing as less than caring for my own emotions, I did not take the moment out to think that there is always another side of emotions for the other person. All I saw was my partner not taking time to heal and work through things, this is what I thought I was seeing, that is farthest from the truth. I had thought there was nothing but drinking going on and carrying on like a young 21 year old going out to the dance clubs for the first time. I was not aware there was a lot of time sitting talking to friends and working through personal thoughts. HUGE lesson on my part!
I am realizing that our minds think in such ways that do not make sense all the time, lord knows I have experienced my fair share of this type of thinking. It's amazing how many enlightenment's I am receiving from this situation. Each day is bringing more and more things to think differently about, to react differently, to take a different look at a thought, an action, etc etc. I am reminded of a saying I read once, " I am perfectly Imperfect"!! This gives me the freedom to make mistakes, work through them, and move on to the next challenge.
Gotta tell ya, building up a mental and emotional tool bucket is not easy work! Learning which tools to use at different given times can be just as tricky, sometimes you use a combination of tools. lol I am grateful to you all in here, allowing me to express the truths of my life and what I face, what I conquer what I learn, what I have to yet learn. Life is forever changing and so are our challenges we face. Sometimes we just need to get off the merry-go-round for a moment and catch our breath so we can hop back on it again and continue on. I just wanted to thank you all for being who you are perfectly without having to be anything else differently! You are an inspiration to me and I, for one, are very grateful to you!
with love
Ann
Author
Topic: Loss of my marriage due to Menopause (Read 37847 times)