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[Evenstar]

Annie you must get your partner to move out as soon as he can.   I had a break up a few years ago and my ex stayed in same house for nearly six months. It was pure torture and I couldn't even begin to pull myself together and sort out my life until he had finally gone.
       I feel so sad for you, as I know exactly what you must be going through right now.   Although you probably won't believe me, it does and WILL get better.
     Thinking of you

[annieh]

Annie you must get your partner to move out as soon as he can.   I had a break up a few years ago and my ex stayed in same house for nearly six months. It was pure torture and I couldn't even begin to pull myself together and sort out my life until he had finally gone.
       I feel so sad for you, as I know exactly what you must be going through right now.   Although you probably won't believe me, it does and WILL get better.
     Thinking of you

Thank you for your warm thoughts!! the only thing it could possibly do now is get better! I am going to hold on that and hope for the best!!
hugs back
ann

[Rose]

Good to know that you are still on track to finding who you want to be Annie! I know that when emotions overwhelm me, I sit with that emotion and maybe write a letter to whoever I feel has hurt me but then I burn it and let it go. I have to agree with Evenstar. You don't need to be hurt anymore than you are. Have you thought of couple counselling (you can even go on your own) so that you can both let go without anymore hurt? You are so right about alcohol drowning out emotions. I stopped drinking as I was using it as a prop and not for enjoyment. I prefer to see and feel things clearly! I started to use iTunes and downloaded all the dance songs that make me happy. When I'm in my car, singing along or bopping at the traffic lights, you should see the look on people's faces! keep up the good work and keep posting, Annie!

[Rose]

Thank you Suzi, I do believe you are right. Am going to meno doctor tomorrow and will find out more then, hopefully as I can't go on like this!

[Suzi Q]

I think we need to be careful i giving mariatal advice
Im sure Annie will decicide whats best for her and her chap they will wok out together in the end whats the next step

[Ju Ju]

Have just read some the thread of posts following AnnieH's original post. I think the support you are giving each other is wonderful. It is good to know there is support when things feel overwhelming. I believe we do have the answers within us, but when you can't see the wood for the trees, it makes all the difference to have such support. I have to remember like everyone else, I do matter and I am worthwhile. 

[annieh]

Have just read some the thread of posts following AnnieH's original post. I think the support you are giving each other is wonderful. It is good to know there is support when things feel overwhelming. I believe we do have the answers within us, but when you can't see the wood for the trees, it makes all the difference to have such support. I have to remember like everyone else, I do matter and I am worthwhile. 

Hello Ju Ju
I could not agree more, the support here is just amazing and so full of caring. This website is the first support website I came to, and honestly I will forever be grateful to the people who have shared of themselves with me and me with them. I felt like I have found a tiny little sisterhood on this great big world and that means so much to me.

On another note, YES< you ARE worthy,  and YES< you DO matter!!!!! We are all worthy of healing and learning to love ourselves and we matter so much in the equation of everything! Sending you tons of loving energy Ju Ju!
Annie

[CLKD]

Remember too that he has decided this long before he told you about his feelings!  So in his head he has maybe moved on and out !  I think you need Legal advice. 

A person can only hurt us whilst we allow them to do so ...........

[annieh]

Remember too that he has decided this long before he told you about his feelings!  So in his head he has maybe moved on and out !  I think you need Legal advice. 

A person can only hurt us whilst we allow them to do so ...........

Thank you so much for the advise
Ann

[CLKD]

It is important to ask how long he was thinking of moving on before he told you?  I would need to know !  Also, I don't believe in blaming menopause or any other issue, because if people are honest together issues can be talked through.  It seems from where I am sitting that he wants out ........

[annieh]

It is important to ask how long he was thinking of moving on before he told you?  I would need to know !  Also, I don't believe in blaming menopause or any other issue, because if people are honest together issues can be talked through.  It seems from where I am sitting that he wants out ........

If the situation arises where there is a complete living arrangement move, I will just have to deal with that when the time comes. For now, because of all our animals, horses, macaw birds, dogs, etc, the living arrangement is working for the time being. It's rather interesting and also a challenge to remove  myself forward and keep moving myself forward in whom I am and what I am doing in my life and stay balanced through it all. No one said this type of thing was easy, yet I am learning that it is doable and can make a person stronger in the long run. I am taking care of me for now and all the animals.

I have not been focusing on the relationship part, because honestly, there is no relationship without each one of us being ok with our own selves. We have agreed we do not wish for ugliness nor hostility, neither one of us are that type of person. We shall see how the future unfolds itself, and if nothing else, perhaps we can maintain a wonderful friendship and realize that we are better people inside of ourselves for it all. There is love for one another, we both agree to that, so that allows the respect aspect of this arrangement to stay somewhat balanced. There is still a lot of growth to do on each one of our parts for ourselves.

Ann

[Rose]

Ann, I can understand where you are coming from as it's not easy to drop everything suddenly. You are doing all that you can by working on yourself and taking it in steps. You must do whatever feels 'right' for you and it seems to me that you are in a different head space from the initial letter. It is so good to know that you have the sister ship of this forum and feel that you have been heard. Meno clinic today for me!

[annieh]

Ann, I can understand where you are coming from as it's not easy to drop everything suddenly. You are doing all that you can by working on yourself and taking it in steps. You must do whatever feels 'right' for you and it seems to me that you are in a different head space from the initial letter. It is so good to know that you have the sister ship of this forum and feel that you have been heard. Meno clinic today for me!

Rose I hope you have such a great success with the meno clinic today!!! I also went to the Naturopath today and it was a good appointment. Lots of wonderful information was provided as well as some deep testing is being done to see what my WHOLE physical body needs. She did put me on black cohosh and a couple of other things to get me going. I hope you have a positive result as well!

Ann

[Ju Ju]

The best advice I was given once if you don't know what to do was then don't anything. The answer will come to you sooner or later. I think looking after yourself first of all and leaving the rest until you are stronger was the answer you found. I hope you can take your time before you have to make any big decisions.

[annieh]

The best advice I was given once if you don't know what to do was then don't anything. The answer will come to you sooner or later. I think looking after yourself first of all and leaving the rest until you are stronger was the answer you found. I hope you can take your time before you have to make any big decisions.

Honestly Ju Ju, I was shown tonite how much I a second class "friend" to the person I have spent all these years with and proven that who I am and what I am means absolutely NOTHING. I can't believe I was so blinded by my love and wanting and hoping I could make a difference!! I am nothing to this person any more and further more, I won't be anything to this person. My heart is ripped in to pieces and I am stuck at trying to figure out what the heck to do next!