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[annieh]

I believe "everything happens for a reason" it may not be obvious at the time....but it will be at some point.

I would have to universally agree with you and your statement. The difference being, we may not want even want to know what those "reasons" are most times, because we may not be able to handle those answers in some of our tender states.

I had just learned that emotions are only reactions to a situation. I had to really think about this and what that truly meant. In my thinking I may and may not have completely understood that statement, however, I think I might have a tiny grasp on it. Emotions are only a secondary physical movement to the original action.. let's say menopause (since this is our subject) and when my emotional ( secondary ) reaction took place, I "allowed" myself to dive deep into this secondary reaction, to the point that I let the rest of my physical self be all consumed by emotion.

If I were to say there was a reason to this... yes, I would have to agree with you, I created the "reason" from my secondary reaction.
Annie

[annieh]

SORRY ANNE I DONT life is just that life
we makew our own way though it
i dont beleive rapes murders baby killers none of that can possibly for a reason?
If it was whats the point of living?

Hi SuziQ,

It can all sure get so complicated at times, can't it! Perhaps the best we can do is continue to send love to the great big wonder of life in hopes that someone. somewhere will pick up on it just in the nick of time when they need it the most! XX
Annie

[annieh]

The same thing happened to my cousin in 2004 married 25 years
He just said he couldnt live with ehr anhymore and left she suicided thnkfully it was just a cry
But it made no odds he left and he wasnt a bad man just a weak one
Me and Bobbles nearly went the same way  but I flew him first he came running back to me I was lucky
I never took HRT I couldnt like you BUT I cold take the MINI PILL that and Ovestin at the time worked wonders
PLus ant depressants
Im so sorry that your marriage is ended nothing anyone can say I too wanted to die when Geoffrwey said I dont like you I dont know even if I love you anymore but I dealt with it in rage anger told him to F o
What ever help you feel is good take it and dont blame yourself in anyway it is not your fault OK hugs Suzi Q

I am delighted to hear your cousin did not take their own life. Perhaps some people are better equipped to handle these types of changes more than others. Why they are, I have no idea. We can only answer for ourselves.. heck sometimes answering for ourselves is hard enough then to worry about why someone else does what they do.

You were able to find something that helped you along your journey through menopause.. BRAVO!! And I truly mean, BRAVO... after I have seen what my life has turned into in 2 years, any one and everyone who is able to find some sort of comfort and peace through all this is my hero! XX
Annie

[annieh]

Hi Annie, I live in Australia so my replies are later than others. Anyway, I thought about your original letter all day and was very comforted by it. I know it's heartbreaking for you to have someone you trusted, to walk away when you most need them but spirit works in wonderful ways, so something good will eventually happen. I am a spiritual counsellor along with being a 'normal' one so I look for signs that guide me and your letter inspired me not to lie down and take this. Have spent another terrible night with cystitis but I know that something will turn up. Please keep me informed about your naturopath or any other things that come to mind. YES we women on here are all survivors  and strong at that! Hope you have a great day and keep looking for the positive signs!

OMG Australia... I happen to watch videos of a wonderful gentleman and his wife who are from Australia .. their names are Robert and Barbra Young. He is a WONDERFUL spiritualist and such a motivator. I watch their video's on youtube all the time.  In fact, right now.. I am trying to consume myself with them because they are helping me in my battle to find ME again. I am learning I never did "lose" me, I just misplaced me for awhile. lol
I cannot begin to tell you how happy and grateful that you are inspired. I hope you find more of the same everywhere you turn your head in life. Are you a life coach by chance? You had mentioned you are a spiritual counselor and I was wondering if that is the same as a spiritual life coach. So nice to chit chat back and forth !!
Annie

[Suzi Q]

WE have one life that we know of its not a reharsal this is it
So we HAVE to do the best we can turn the bad in to good find joy in simple things
Cos the f... alternative is the end and that will come soon enough for us all

[Rose]

Hi Annie, yes I am a life coach and it's really interesting how you can help people. You are completely right about primary and secondary emotions and if you read about Emotion Focused Therapy, it explains all that. Someone can react in anger to a situation but the 'real' emotion is fear. We all need to have 'meaning' in our lives and to make sense of bad times. If I didn't have these awful symptoms, I'd never have joined this forum and started getting to know all these great women! I believe that when it all seems to have gone to pot, something good comes out of it. It just depends on how you approach life, in fear or curiosity. I am going to doctor today to see if this really is cystitis and have appointment at meno clinic next week. I am determined to not just sit down and cry, which is what I feel like doing! I'll meet a friend and have a chat and thank God or whoever, for the fact that I have a friend! I also have beautiful kids, two of whom are coming to visit, with their partners, soon. I love my dog and she loves me, so that's good enough for me at the moment! Keep thinking positive, Annie and so will I!

[annieh]

Hi Annie, yes I am a life coach and it's really interesting how you can help people. You are completely right about primary and secondary emotions and if you read about Emotion Focused Therapy, it explains all that. Someone can react in anger to a situation but the 'real' emotion is fear. We all need to have 'meaning' in our lives and to make sense of bad times. If I didn't have these awful symptoms, I'd never have joined this forum and started getting to know all these great women! I believe that when it all seems to have gone to pot, something good comes out of it. It just depends on how you approach life, in fear or curiosity. I am going to doctor today to see if this really is cystitis and have appointment at meno clinic next week. I am determined to not just sit down and cry, which is what I feel like doing! I'll meet a friend and have a chat and thank God or whoever, for the fact that I have a friend! I also have beautiful kids, two of whom are coming to visit, with their partners, soon. I love my dog and she loves me, so that's good enough for me at the moment! Keep thinking positive, Annie and so will I!

I will surly cheer you on to your path, Rose! I learned something new yesterday that was rather interesting from a herbal clinician. She explained that when women go through prei and menopause and their estrogen and progesterone decreases they also lose amounts of dopamine  which plays such a huge role in our "happy receptors" in our brain function. She advised me to go on what is called DLPA which is a natural dopamine that works asap. I took it today and OMG I feel like I USE to feel before menopause. I have a grip on myself todaay, I am not an emotional basketcase, I feel balanced more than I have in over 2 years. YAY for dopamine! ha!!

Instead of the hundreds of thousands of women who are getting prescribed Zoloft and Prozac and whatever else the pharmaceuticals are tossing at us that in most cases are not touching a darn thing except reducing MORE dopamine in our systems because they are sarotinin,  which also depletes dopamine from us, we are spiraling downward and not upward. I learned a ton and when I got home I researched and she was absolutely right!

I am pulling my dopaime levels back up where they should be and I am on my way from menopause effect recovery! I don't know if it is going to help me save my relationship at this point, but honestly, what matters is my well being, my quality of life. I can handle ANYTHING as long as I have have that inner connection to ME and what I need and want to be in this life!   

I saw my therapist today and she is amazed at how in just a week ( day one I was about to toss in the towel on my life, as I didn't see any point) and today, where I am ready to take on anything that comes my way, because, I AM WORTH IT!

I had a nice long meditation this morning which opened up a channel to what I had been missing, my inner most connection to all energy. Wow I missed that for the last couple of years! It felt so wonderful to not only "feel" but to "remember" how amazing it is to know that we are so connected to everything. I had a GREAT self hug and knew that I was not alone while giving my spirit a warm loving well deserved hug!

People are wonderful to have around us when we most need them, family, friends and those whom we may never meet in person, Yet, knowing that you have yourself and the love of all things with you even when you can't feel or think you can reach out to it, is just euphoric! My Therapist said to me today she is delighted to see my quick transition and that is is truly from the heart. I had no choice ( well I did, there were other options, self pity, furthered lack of self esteem, and the list goes on).  Something kicked in with me and I DID pull my boot straps up by the handle and secured them tightly.

I will be sending you and SO many other women out there this wonderful energy in thought so that you and the others can chime in and find your own self love and find that amazing happy place again, even better than what you have ever known it before! My love is out to you all and still loving me!
Annie

[Rowan]

Take care with DLPA if you have high blood pressure, and it can interact with other meds.

[honeybun]

I thought it was used for pain relief 


Honeyb
X

[CLKD]

I would have thought that one would require more than 1 dose of mood altering drug ....... certainly any AD that I have been prescribed has taken 3/5 days to kick in and often they take longer.  The longer the brain has been depressed the longer it will take for the drug to begin making a difference.  Like any other organ, the brain requires TLC.  Without ADs I wouldn't be alive.  I have no problems with the pharmaceutical companies doing the research so that what I take is, usually, 'safe'.  Not all 'natural' preparations are safe, i.e. digoxin .......

How painful to find out that your trusted friend has been else where.  If only we were more honest with each other 

[Rose]

Hi Annie, really happy for you! Keep doing what makes you feel this way and whenever a slump hits as it so often does, remember to get back on the path! Went to doc yesterday, no cystitis so most likely vaginal atrophy. She did take another pap smear as she said my cervix is red and sore, so have to wait on that result. My pain clinic doc told me that Chronic pain sufferers are more sensitive to drugs and that's why I am finding the full strength oestrogen to be too much, too soon. I have Degenerative Disc disease with nerve root impingement. Feeling pretty crap today as I really don't know what to do. Hoping some inspiration comes to me.

[CLKD]

Chronic pain can take more to manage.  More pain relief but spread out through the day.  To get relief is difficult and then to maintain an almost pain-free regime hard.  Sometimes Anaesthetists run pain clinics in UK Hospitals.  Only someone who has suffered chronic conditions should even attempt advice and support 

[Rose]

Hi CLKD, it has taken me 4 years to get into the local hospital pain clinic. I have had to go private before this. I am on Durogesic patches for continuous pain relief but they are only about 30% effective in helping the pain. I've been in chronic pain for over 10 years and am disabled with it. It was the doc at the clinic who told me about sensitivity to medicines. She told me that I would have to build up a tolerance to estragon if I wanted to take it. I was reading that an inflamed cervix can cause painful, frequent urine problems. I just want someone to help me as it's so painful. The pap smear results should be back next week so I have to suffer until then. Can't understand why this wasn't picked up before as I've got same symptoms.

[annieh]

Hi CLKD, it has taken me 4 years to get into the local hospital pain clinic. I have had to go private before this. I am on Durogesic patches for continuous pain relief but they are only about 30% effective in helping the pain. I've been in chronic pain for over 10 years and am disabled with it. It was the doc at the clinic who told me about sensitivity to medicines. She told me that I would have to build up a tolerance to estragon if I wanted to take it. I was reading that an inflamed cervix can cause painful, frequent urine problems. I just want someone to help me as it's so painful. The pap smear results should be back next week so I have to suffer until then. Can't understand why this wasn't picked up before as I've got same symptoms.

I am sending you loving healing thoughts, rose! I so hope they are able to find a solution for you and help you in ways that will also lower the rest of the pain you experience. Pain, no matter the capacity and the reason for it feels like it can remove a quality of life, and for that, I am so very sorry you are experiencing this.

Remember me sharing with you earlier that I am trying to do as much as I can for myself in many aspects of my life... well.. I had an interesting conversation on the phone today with a lady who is a Quantum healing practitioner. As far as I can tell and have investigated, she has a high success rate, which can also be a great part of the clients she see's who are seeing her because they are ready for a change anyway. Either way it may be, I guess if you go see someone like that, you must be mentally somewhat ready, or enough to allow physical and emotional changes to take place.

I will be seeing her week after next and honestly, I am really looking forward to it. I don't know what will be the final result of this first meeting, but it takes approx 5 hours. It's a good thing I will be laying down in a very deep hypnotic state for most of that 5 hours. HA! She happen to work and become knowledgeable from a world renown hypno-regressionist I have known for many years. He has like 17 books out and has helped thousands and thousands of people in her 45 years of doing this. I feel rather confident that she has the exact type of knowledge and training I have learned to trust from my past experiences with this other lady I happen to know. Time will tell! I am going into this with a much more open mind and acceptance so that should be a big help.

Maybe that is something you could possibly look into for yourself as well. I know your personal background of being a counselor would really add to what would work for you or not. It's a possibility that something wonderful could happen for you, and worse case scenario, you wouldn't have anything to lose other than some time and a GREAT relaxation! lol

I will definitely keep you informed of what happens.. it will be interesting at best! In the mean time, I send you tons of healing thoughts and warm wishes!
Annie

[annieh]

I would have thought that one would require more than 1 dose of mood altering drug ....... certainly any AD that I have been prescribed has taken 3/5 days to kick in and often they take longer.  The longer the brain has been depressed the longer it will take for the drug to begin making a difference.  Like any other organ, the brain requires TLC.  Without ADs I wouldn't be alive.  I have no problems with the pharmaceutical companies doing the research so that what I take is, usually, 'safe'.  Not all 'natural' preparations are safe, i.e. digoxin .......

How painful to find out that your trusted friend has been else where.  If only we were more honest with each other 

Hi CLKD, I had thought the same thing as you did, until I learned that dopamine works rather immediately, or shortly after you take it. In fact, it's one of those you don't have to take all the time either. You can take it if you feel like you need a bit of a pick me up since it is NOT synthetic and does not take a period of time to work in the body. I was informed of the high blood pressure precautions which I don't have an issue with, typically. I'm also not taking a very high dose of it, so it's not a danger.  I had made sure I spoke with a herbal clinician before taking this. I let her know everything, my meds, my symptoms, etc etc. We had about a 30 minute conversation before we decided this would be a good outlet to try. I can't even get my pharmacist to talk to me 5 minutes about a VERY dangerous medication.   I have noticed I do have more energy and I do feel like I am able to handle my emotional turmoils with a bit more ease and I am not so reactionary now. It's not for everyone, I do understand that, I would suggest always talking to your medical adviser before taking anything anyways, it's just good practice.
Annie