thanks everyone. I feel so stupid! I'm fed up alone in the house, then when people want me to babysit the grandchildren (though they are gorgeous and I love them to bits) I resent it because I feel everyone is off having a life and I'm stuck here so they can go off... It feels like that's it, my life is done, just watch everyone else get on with theirs. My husband doesn't like his job much, but he goes out and speaks to adults.. I don't, unless I go to the supermarket! My youngest daughter is home at the moment from uni, she's working and uses the car to get there. The longer I'm in the house, the less I want to go out, then the more stranded and fed up I feel - it's a vicious circle at the moment. And the skipped heartbeats are really bad (being monitored, though they are benign they scare me).
Sorry for the moaning, it's good to have a sounding board! I had told my husband how bored I was at home - he had moved some furniture in the spare room and I commented that I had planned to do it differently - response was Oh, it'll give you something to do then. You're always moaning you've got nothing to do. I left the room very quickly and banged around downstairs for a good while.He had changed it all round again later. I don't think he meant it to sound as bad as it did, he's not like that. But I was so mad!