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[JeanneA]

Hi Renee

Like you I am definitely angry and fed up with this change we are going through.  I never thought it would be this bad. 

I hope you received my private message ok please email me if you would like to.

I am also a completely different person to what I used to be prior the menopause.  It is such an effort to get up and get ready for work on some days.  I also get extremely tired in the day particularly in the afternoons.  The hot flushes really get to me, they are most unpleasant.  My face looks like a beetroot when I'm having a hot flush, I get so embarrassed if there is anyone else around.

At least we know that we are not alone we are going through this together and hopefully one we will get back to those people we once were, fingers crossed. 

[lily]

I wonder if it's a bit like childbirth in that you forget how bad it was once it's all over and that's why some women don't feel they suffered too much?  Or it could be a case of getting so used to not sleeping well etc that you forget how it used to be?  Or some ladies who do not use a forum like this or have close friends to speak to about it, might not realise that a lot of their symptoms are meno and not just part of getting older?

[Delilah]

I agree, i dont think some ladies link their symptoms to menopause. I have two sisters in law, one who experienced bad panic attacks and anxiety and couldn't go shopping for years and didn't realise they were probably meno symptoms until i was telling her about the awful time i was having with similar symptoms - she's fine now, just to give us all a glimmer of hope !!.
The other sis in law is the same age as me and has been experiencing depression along with flushes, but didnt think that depression was anything to do with meno.
Its a horrid time but we have to keep positive that the worst of it will come to an end. Chin up 

Delilah x

[Winterose]

Lots of support on here , I too have friends who say nothing has changed for them, some of them are quite plump so maybe their estrogen levels dont drop so much, once you get your HRT sorted you will feel a lot more normal, try another brand if the one you are on is not helping, also know lots of ladies on AD's who said they have never suffered so perhaps they have not associated depression or anxiety with menopause symptoms,

[dulciana]

Some of the most supportive reactions I've had have been from men (family members and friends).  I thought they'd be embarrassed by me mentioning the menopause, because there have been times when I've simply had to mention it.  Not at all, though.   I suppose there's no air of "I can do better than that" from a man, any more than from a male hairdresser.  I think if we're going through something like this that has such an impact on our daily lives and ourselves as people, we've every right to talk about it.   My late mum never ever mentioned her meno to me our my sister, which makes my mind boggle a bit because there's no way I could keep silent about mine.  I don't get up on a soapbox or anything, but it's my everyday reality and I can't just not talk about it.    But I won't half be glad to see the back of it!!!!!!!

[dulciana]

..........just to add on to my earlier post, mentioning meno symptoms (in moderation!) seems to help people understand if I react oddly to a situation. 

[Rose]

It's interesting Winterose to read your comment about weight and falling estragon levels. I remember my GP in the UK say that thin women had a much harder time with the menopause. I am stick thin after having pancreatitis, due to tiny gallstones getting out and then having my gallbladder removed. I was 6 stone then and have just managed to get to 7 stone, 3 years on. I also feel the cold so badly in winter here in Oz. Doc also mentioned that it's as if the thermostat in your body has broken and it can't adjust. I am sure women who weigh more than me, are also suffering but just wondered if there was a link between weight and severity of meno.

[orrla]

I agree that if lots more women were making loud complains things would be different by now - instead even GPs doubt us; Trying to explain feels like hitting a wall – and always gives way to some triumph of other woman who will take an opportunity to demonstrate her superiority. By age of 58 I am sickened by many attitudes I encounter daily. I remember, when I was starting, confused as hell, my ‘best' friend told me that rotten feeling I have is because I don't have a partner – but because she does she feels ok. She was on a bottle of wine per night and antidepressants… Wrrrrr.

Take care sisters!

[Cassie]

The bit that I am really struggling with is the emotional side of things. I have always been such a strong person and now I am a blubbering mass of tears at the first opportunity, overly sensitive, have absolutely zilch libido and feel neither desirable nor desired, its all such a bloody horrible journey. I look around me and my friends all seem to be coping just fine, but I guess, behind closed doors, we just never know!

[dulciana]

Cassie,
How about treating yourself to something?  I tackled my "not feeling desirable" bit by buying a supply of my favourite skincare products and making sure I use them every single day.  It gives me a daily pampering to look forward to and because my skin is now looking better for it, I feel better about myself.  The phrase "because you're worth it" comes to mind!

[honeybun]

I agree, it's worth trying to make an effort just to make yourself feel better. I had a bit of an accident last year and have ended up with burn scars on my neck. My family tell me it's not noticeable but it really is. My lovely daughter decided scarves were the way and now I have a nice collection. Such a little thing but it makes me feel more confident.

It's whatever works for you. Might be a walk might be a new nail varnish. Just as long as it makes you feel good.

Honeyb
X

[Winterose]

HI Rose


According to what I have read some estrogen is made in our fat so presumably some ladies are helped by this extra estrogen during menapause, I know some very thin ladies who suffer terribly too, 

[Rose]

Hi Winterose, that makes sense! However, knowing me that even should I put a ton of weight on, it wouldn't matter  As the others say treat yourself as you are 'worth it' then you can worry about the cost later! I also know how Cassie feels about not having any desire or being desired. It's a horrible feeling to just 'disappear' however I am getting chatted up by 70 + yr old men (I'm 57) which does nothing for the ego!

[Cassie]

Lol Rose, they say you are only as old as the man you are with, so I would give him a wide berth hehe

[Rose]

Cassie, I once saw an elderly man sitting outside the library and it being a beautiful day, I said' hello, lovely weather we're having". he indicated that he couldn't hear, so I went nearer and then he said " like your dress but it would look better off". He was about 80! So you see why I am feeling as though things are going downhill! My kids roared laughing!