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[babypink2807]

I have known this person for nearly ten years and at times I haven't agreed with some things she has said and done and likewise I guess she has felt the same about me.  About three years ago she had an acrimonious split from her fiancé and every single day she would call or text me for over 12 months about the trials and tribulations and I was always there for her.

Then she seems to show a part of her I didn't like, crying to me how broke she was living in a £400'000 house, and could not afford it.  I suggested she sought a lawyer to help with the legal stuff, I offered her money to help her.  Next day she called to say she had bought some fab art work stuck it on credit card and cost £300. A few weeks later she bought a dog for £2000 I was utterly gob smacked.  On and on it went thankfully she didn't take my money.

She met a guy online who turned out to be very wealthy and just when I thought she could not get any more shallow and flaunt his wealth not hers mind, it got for me worse.  The holidays he took her on like Dubai for weekends, Italy, Monaco Grand Prix, all the gifts he bought her and all designer but curses that she gets little salary.  When she posts on Facebook its a case of the designer and the price I find it all rather ugly.  About 7 months ago she called to say as the new baby was taking up too much room in the car they were goi g car shopping for a family car, which turns out to be a Bently Continental, I laughed out loud as I said that's NOT a typical family car now is it?  She gifted her dog to her mum as it messed the house, then one month later bought another £2k dog which she "loved" until it turned an odd colour and she then went and bought another dog which she preferred the co,our of for £2.5k and tried to off load the "loved one" my way

I was disgusted more so about the dog bit, and since I've been I'll, I have hardly heard a thing from her, the odd text to ask "how r u" to then ignore my reply and tell me about her latest gift and next holiday and how much it is

Today i finally had enough she posted a picture of his and hers Bentley cars on her driveway or rather his driveway and I wonder was she really ever a friend.  I have had no card, or phone call, a couple of texts and that's it.  I am very disappointed to see how someone does seem to value things in a different way to me and not for the better

I've been so ill, I would hope she would at least visit but no, nothing, I'm quite sad about it

[CLKD]

Of course you are sad; and disappointed; and angry.  I have been through similar several times in my Life 

When I wanted support during depression and anxiety, so called 'friends' walked away.  I halved my C.mas card list in 4-6 weeks    not even a phone call to see how DH was doing.

You didn't lend her the money - PHEW!  She has obviously fallen into the belief that this man has saved her at a time when she felt down on her Luck.  Don't look at her FaceBook page ......... this person has 'moved on' and sadly, you are not part of her social circle any more.

Once you get over the sadness that she hasn't bothered about you during your illness, you will feel lighter in spirit     

[babypink2807]

Thank you words of wisdom as usual

[ladybug50]

babypink, I think she's what we used to call a "fair weather friend".
Sorry you feel so sad ....    

[fiorinda]

I guess you have other and better friends, Babypink? It doesn't sound like you like this woman awfully, and she's not giving you anything, so probably best to just move on without her. Sometimes friendships, like relationships, just outlive their usefulness, and that's true even of those with people we still like and respect and care about, which really is sad but just part of life I suppose. I think if I had a 'friend' who was never there for me but expected me to be there for her (or him), and who I didn't really like that much I'd have to shrug and spend my time with better people. I lost my oldest and one of my closest friends when I left my husband 3 years ago as she seemed to choose him over me (as she loves being around people who are struggling emotionally where she can give them advice and a shoulder to cry on - she's an emotional vampire to be honest - and I don't think she preceived me as needing support). She betrayed a confidence to him - not for the first time. She never understood why I was angry at her. We are 'friendly' again now, but will never again be close, and that suits me fine - I can't trust her anymore. I discovered who my real friends were when I needed them. Please don't be sad, use the space in your life for better friends! x

[Taz2]

It does sound as if you have totally different values to each other. I wouldn't waste another minute worrying about her. I am sure you have much better friends and she will find friends who are more suited to her way of thinking.

Taz

[babypink2807]

That's it Taz, spot on we do have different values.  Oddly enough its not the holidays, gifts or flashy cars but the part that digit for me was the attitude to the dogs, just disposable.  Especially the female white bulldog, once black specs started growing through after six months she decided it want for her and made excuses as to why ie bad behaviour, boisterous and to me they were her trying to justify getting rid of it.  Forgetting it wasn't trained at all and hardly walked!  I refused to rehome it, as they say a dogis for life, and not to be off loaded on a whim.  For me that was the last straw.  It upsets me to see her putting the new dog (same breed) on her FB page and gushing about it, and leaving the white one out of it, so very sad

[Elena]

I'm going to be totally honest here and say she sounds AWFUL.  I think to have stayed friends with her as long as  you did shows a huge amount of optimism.  I'm really sorry you feel so upset but really she  isnt worth it. 

I'd unfriend her on FB too if it were me.  Do you have mutual friends?  How does anybody put up with her?!!

Friends should be there for each other, that relationship sounded so one-sided.  Move on and away from her for your own sake.

[ann123]

She sounds very selfish and shallow!! Who is she going to crying to when the latest love dumps her for his next conquest? I hope not you!!!!
Unfriendly her on Facebook. No one needs friends like this, all they do is take and drain you!!!
Move on
Ann
X

[Pennyfarthing]

Since the new year my motto has been
"Love the people who treat you right. Forget about those who don't."

I just won't waste time, energy or emotions on people like that anymore whereas in the past I would worry and try to make things right.

I think you're better off without her to be honest. 

It's funny how some people reckon they're so hard up. They're usually not it's just that they choose to spend their cash on other things and want to make you feel sorry for them.  I've been organising a meal for our knitting group - no big deal, it's at the pub/restaurant where we meet and would probably be around a tenner.  One woman told me that she would have to give it a miss as she can't afford it.  I explained that it was not a posh meal and there were also sandwiches and baguettes if she preferred.  She smokes a lot and her cigs cost about £8 a packet!!

[Greyhoundgal]

How disappointed you must be feeling....As Milliemoo says, defriend her on FB and cut contact with her.  It doesn't sound as if you'll particularly miss her as she hasn't really been there for you while you've been so ill.  Concentrate on your "real" friends instead.  I'm a great believer in "what goes around comes around".  And don't even get me started on the dog issue - why on earth anyone would spend that sort of money when there are so many needing homes right now!

[CLKD]